Nona Kirana

bye 2011. hello 2012.

2011-12-31T11:11:00.000+08:00

So here goes my last entry of the year...

In 2011...

I got married on 1 January.

Haris started primary 1 on 3 January.

I went to Sri Lanka for my honeymoon on 3 February.

I found out I was pregnant on 14 February.

We got to know that I’m carrying a baby boy on 23 may.

I celebrated my 27th birthday as a married woman on 18 June.

We welcomed our firstborn son on 12 October.

Ashayr went for his first family holiday to KL on 27 December.

These might just be dates to some people, but each of it holds a very significant meaning to me. God plans out your life such. 2011 has been an amazing roller coaster ride for me. I enjoyed its ups and downs. Some corners were rough while some bends were smoother. An exhilarating ride it has been.

Marriage and motherhood has taught me to grow up and love unselfishly. It’s no longer just about me, but also people around me, especially those whom I love. A year went by so quickly and I barely got to breathe and absorb the entire situation. At times, I still can’t believe I’m married and that I gave birth to a beautiful little human being. 2011 is just too significant for my 27 years of existence on earth. 2011, you have been great but it's time to move on.

So, what do i want for 2012? Simple. I hope to find myself and be closer to the Almighty. It's time to rediscover my passion, make a difference and be a happier person than before. I give too much that i have nothing left for ME. 2012 shall be done differently, insya'allah.

For what lies ahead, let's pray for strength and courage to be a better person than before, to be able to weather the storm and the strong winds ahead, to be a wiser person when choices cross our paths, to be a responsible human being for ourselves and those around us, to live this life the best way we can.

May ALLAH be with us in everything that we put our hearts and minds into. Amin.

Goodbye 2011. Welcome 2012. =)

Khair Ashayr

2011-11-11T21:27:00.001+08:00

They say a child is a gift from God. A child changes your life forever. How true. For nine months, I carried a little human being inside me. It is an experience only a mother can appreciate and for that, I’m truly blessed and thankful to the one above.

On 12 October, after battling with labour pains for almost 12 hours, my son was delivered via an emergency c-section at 1215am. I was on general anesthesia and only got to see my baby at 130am. I must say that it took me a while to realize that this baby just came out from my stomach. I was still groggy from the anesthesia and painkillers and therefore, was still pretty much confused from the whole occasion. I was overwhelmed with all sorts of emotions.

On the same day, visitors started pouring in at 10am. For those who came, I’m sorry if I couldn’t entertain you as much as I’d love to. The pain was just too overwhelming and the painkillers were making me extremely groggy. But, both my husband and I are very grateful for your presence in celebrating our son’s birth into this world. Thank you to our family members, friends, colleagues and acquaintances for your presence, gifts and contributions. Thank you also to my facebook and twitter friends for your well wishes. Hisham and I are grateful and thankful to know that there are so many who care. So, thank you again. =)

This is our son.
Mohamed Khair Ashayr Bin Mohamed Hisham.
He weighs 3.7kg at birth and is 52 cm long.

Khair means “blessings, wealth, benevolence and goodness” while Ashayr means “wise and knowledgeable”. Like most parents, we do want the best for our son and prays that he grows up to be a great man. Insya’Allah we will provide him with all that he needs, especially unconditional love and care. Ashayr is our wonderful little blessing. Tomorrow he turns exactly a month old. It has been a rollercoaster ride for me so far, both physically and emotionally. This whole mother hood experience has taught me a lot of patience.

The adaptation process was quite challenging. The lack of sleep, the pain from the operation, the inability to move around as much as I used to, the crying of the baby and not knowing what’s wrong, all these has made me a better mother , wife and woman. We learn to give wholeheartedly. We learn to love this little person without expecting anything in return. We learn to care and provide for the baby because that is what mothers are supposed to do. Motherhood is an amazing learning journey.

Now that I’ve settled and become more adapted to the feeding and sleeping routine, I can function better even with little rest. I’m getting used to the routine and I do hope that it will get easier in time. The baby blues that I had in the beginning is starting to fade away. I shall embrace this new role and take it on with pride. I'm loving motherhood and i foresee a fulfilling role ahead. Ashayr has been such an angel and easy to take care of. Alhamdulillah.

Before i end this entry, here are some pictures taken by Zaki Razali, an upcoming artistic photographer. These amazing shots were taken at the comfort of my house and Ashayr was exactly 3 weeks old. =)

Ashayr, we love you more than words can say.

Come what may, we shall be with you. Insya'Allah.

We love you, son.

counting down...

2011-09-28T17:19:00.007+08:00

hey baby...

we are counting down days before your arrival.

mama & abah are getting (just a little) impatient.

BUT, don't hurry yourself. take your time.

come out only when you're ready.

we will wait and welcome you into this world with love.

we cant wait to stare at your cute little face... to stare and admire your tiny hands and feet... to "romos-romos" and kiss you all over cos you will be the cutest thing we've ever created.

till the day we see you... stay healthy and come out safely (and quickly!).. heee..

Love,
Mama & Abah

over 37 weeks!

2011-09-21T12:04:00.008+08:00

alhamdulillah, i'm still doing very good so far. hari raya as a wife has been fulfilling and very meaningful. to be heavily pregnant and celebrating it at the same time was quite a challenge, but i'm glad that the husband is a very understanding man.

let's see.. i'm now over 37 weeks and have already gained 14 kg which is ALOT. there are moments where i feel so bloated cos the baby is taking up so much space in my tummy. it seems like the baby is a very active one, squirming around continuously for 20 to 30 mins each time. the baby's head is already engaged since 35 weeks and i can feel the pressure each time i walk. i tell myself to bear with the uncomfortable feeling and NOT waddle. jalan mesti steady. hee..

at this point, i still feel no pain or any irregular contractions. the braxton hicks come and go and lasts for very short periods. should i be worried? hmmm. no actually. i'm more impatient now cos i cant wait to see our baby. =)

last weekend, i did my last show for WARNA this year. my chance to be on stage for the final time before i go for my maternity leave soon. some have asked if i have popped cos they haven't been hearing me on radio or see me on TV. well, not yet. the baby still prefers my tummy for now. heee..

i still feel overwhelmed at times about this whole pregnancy and motherhood deal. are we really ready for it? will i survive labour? what kind of mother would i be? how will i cope with my body after delivery? so many questions and what ifs? however, at the end of the day, i'm glad to have an amazing partner who understands and does his best to make sure things are alright.

hisham has been beyond amazing from the start. he takes care of me and the baby really well. he does his best to provide me with everything that i need to get through this pregnancy. thank you Sayang for being the best partner i can ever have. bestfriends forever, ok? ;)

enough of words. here are some random pictures from here and there over the last few weeks. enjoy!

we went GOLD for the first day of raya...

konon-konon fun shot. lol.

my adorable cousin-in-law, amni.

growing (horizontally) together.. heee..

my second cousin's wedding on 5th syawal!

at Diah's place for raya. =)

with make up artist, Illya, who did my face for WARNA RAYA FIESTA.

exactly 37 weeks pregnant!

syah's and ab shaik's attempt to mimic the two pregnant djs of warna.. syah was me and shaik was zaza, carrying twins. funny or what! lol.

spot the two pregnant djs...

with ex-radio presenters, all the way from 1957 to present day. it was indeed such an honour to have met them. i'm humbled. =)

+++

so there you have it. a summary of what's been going on for the past couple of weeks. it has been a great and fulfilling journey so far. i do not know what lies ahead but that is the beauty of what we call "the future". i'm sure better things await. this little human being inside me has been a blessing and i look forward to receiving it into the world, soon.

meanwhile, your kind prayers are all i seek for a safe delivery and a beautiful, healthy baby... till next time! =)

am i good enough?

2011-08-16T14:46:00.005+08:00

"Faith and doubt go hand-in-hand, they are complementaries. One who never doubts will never truly believe" - Hermann Hesse, German-Swiss poet, novelist, and painter

have you ever had self-doubt & faith and the same time? it's hard to explain but it's like doubting your abilities and capabilities, as well as having faith, just knowing you're good enough for something bigger.

self-doubt is present in everyone. socially, emotionally, spiritually, behaviorally, and financially. self-doubt occurs when we believe that a future action will not bring a desirable outcome, that it won't bring the right result, or may make us feel foolish, threatened or judged. if we assume these thoughts and outcome predictions as being real and allow them to command our actions, they disable us and prevent us from doing something that we otherwise would like to do or feel driven to achieve.

i'm often faced with many personal battles. my hearts says i'm amazing but my brain tells me otherwise. i challenge my thoughts and at the end of the day, it boils down to how i manage this self-doubt. what i've learnt is never to underestimate my own abilities. listen to your inner voice and just know that bigger things await. i do admit that there are times where i would feel threatened or intimidated whenever i see someone else doing better than me. i'm not jealous but would rather question myself. as to where do i stand if placed besides these successful individuals.

after much analysing, i know that i'm doubting myself too much. i can never be these people but i can only be the best ME that i can ever be. self-doubt is a thought, and we can control our thoughts! so what is preventing us from changing that thought, or being aware of it then disarming it, or at least taking action in the opposite direction to what it is telling us?

so let's change our thoughts and put aside self-doubt because faith keeps us strong in pursuing our goals and dreams. just believe that we are all meant for something bigger. that God created us for a purpose. insya'allah, things will fall into place and makes more sense....

at this point, there are moments when i doubt my ability to cope with this last trimester. my previous two trimesters have been amazingly great and suddenly, i now have to learn how to cope with the changing body image which can be emotionally challenging... but i know that i will get through this. i need to learn how to love this new body shape of mine. i know it will all go away after labour if i continue putting in effort to live a healthy lifestyle.. insya'allah..

go away you self-doubt! shoo!

8 more to 40...

2011-08-12T14:27:00.007+08:00

being pregnant doesn't necessarily equate to being incompetent. as my tummy gets bigger, it takes more effort to get things done and move to places. i'm not as mobile and flexible as i used to be. the fatigue and backaches are a challenge to deal with. the hormonal imbalances and whirlwind of emotions are unexplainable. it's phenomenal and men don't get it. seriously.

to all the pregnant women out there.. we may be bloated, swollen, waddling around with a huge tummy in front of us. but WE ARE BEAUTIFUL.

may Allah grant us the strength to get through this pregnancy and bring life safely into this world. amin. insya'allah...

over 7 months

2011-08-09T16:02:00.005+08:00

i'm now on my way to reaching 8 months (gestationally).. surprisingly, the tummy started booming from the 6th to 7th month. the baby suddenly decided to grow excessively and according to my gynae, the baby is "BIG and LONG.." it does worry me because a big baby my lead to a couple of complications. but i shall not let it get to me too much. as long as the baby is healthy, we are happy. i did not put on weight for this month as well. which is a good thing for me cos i'm quite big sized to begin with. so it's 10 kg for now and i bet i will put on a few more before i pop.

this last trimester seems a little bit more challenging. i was truly enjoying my second trimester. felt so energetic and good back then. now, i often suffer from backaches and sleepless nights. there are nights where i cant find just the right position to fall asleep. the baby has been moving alot. now, i can tell where is the baby's head, butt or feet. the baby seems to respond so well when spoken to as well. with that said, Mr H and i are very much excited to welcome the arrival of mini us. it's so surreal. the feeling of having a little baby kicking inside you is beyond description.

there are times where i feel unsure and nervous of what's to come. am i really ready to be a mother? will my labour be alright? how will i react to labour pains? i'm nervous and i can't lie. besides that, i have also grown so huge as compared to what i was in January. i feel so bloated at times. like my whole body has been dipped in water for so long that it's swollen. blame it on the water retention that makes us preggars look like a puffer fish.

Mr H has been the sweetest husband EVER. i cant ask for a better partner. he is GOD sent. he massages my aching back every night. he prepares warm milk for me. he goes all out to satisfy my random food cravings. he allows me to sleep like a bear. he puts me first before himself. he makes me feel comfortable and happy all the time. what more can i ask. thank you for being the best husband i can ever have. i love you Sayang. =)

so here i am in pictures at 7 months plus...

what i wore for my second last news presenting for BERITA on Suria.

with the sexy ning baizura and pretty scha al yahya at APM 2011... and my tummy at over 30 weeks.

with the one who turns everything that she touches into gold. ;)

+++

so i've got a few more weeks to go before i pop. this shall all be worth it. insya'allah. ;)

a father's message from beyond

2011-08-01T15:14:00.007+08:00

i read an article on yahoo news and i teared. it was about a 45 year old father who died of cancer. he was a strong man who refuse to give in to his illness. he led his life as positive as possible. he wanted to be an example for his children...

it made me think. if life is too short, what will we be leaving behind? what are the memories that others have of us? this is what a father wrote for his two beautiful kids.. (image & text courtesy of yahoo news)
+++

A FATHER'S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.

Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.

I love you both with all my heart.
Daddy x

++++

let's reflect this Ramadan and think about how much we have gone through and experienced all this while. our time on earth is temporary so let's make the best of what comes along and be happy over the blessings that have been bestowed upon us. we shall continue doing good to others and also to ourselves. we shall live this life with good thoughts and attract only good things in life. we shall leave behind good memories of us for others to live by. we shall be the best Muslim that we can ever be.. may Allah bless our good doings this Ramadan. insya'allah..

When Girls Get Together!

2011-07-05T15:10:00.007+08:00

last saturday, i was privileged enough to be given a chance to speak at the EPG (Empowering Programme for Girls) by Mendaki event at Nacli, South Buona Vista. there were 2 other women professionals who spoke at the event, Sharon Ismail and Zarina Yusof. fiza o was the host for the 4 hour event. it's an awards ceremony for the first batch of girls who have graduated from secondary school and were part of the EPG group. some of these girls have managed to move on to JC and Poly while others into ITE. it is indeed and achievement to be proud of.

i felt humbled being put alongside these inspiring women. Sharon is a talented host, actress and lecturer. while Zarina, who used to be a TV newscaster is currently the Deputy Director at Health Promotion Board. like whoa! i feel small but honored to have met these amazing women. they have 2 kids each and they look fabulous and hot! i'm pregnant with my first and i look like a whale! lol. but it's ok. i shall work hard towards losing the excess baggage and join the league of "hot and yummy mummy"!

here are some pictures of the event...

and so i spoke about "the ugly duckling". something that is close to my heart as i associate myself with that little awkward duckling. those who know me know the struggles i had to face when i was growing up. i was different as a child and as a teenager. always trying hard to outdo myself. always battling with my self-confidence. at the end of the day, its about how you feel about yourself. the opinion that we build of ourselves form our self-beliefs. i battled with my own self-esteem. i had to find ways to make me feel better about myself. i feel that this natural growing up process is inevitable. we all have to go through it at one point in our lives.

so, girls. it's ok to feel a little low sometimes. it's how to get out of that negative feeling is what matters most. no one can make you feel better about yourself but you. work on your weaknesses and convert it into your strength. focus on your strengths and convert it into something worthwhile.

life is too short to always live in fear of the unknown. if we are afraid to try, afraid to ask, afraid to move on and improve ourselves, then we are missing out so much that life has got to offer.

like sharon said, "Be Brave. Live Life." ;)

so here i am, still standing and facing different battles in life. however, i look ahead and forward to a better future because i strongly believe that we are all meant for greater things in life.

Allah is kind and He will give us what we deserve as long as we persevere and hold on to that dream. insya'allah. =)

haris & hitting 6 months

2011-06-28T18:10:00.013+08:00

when i was a teenager, i've always wondered how nice it would be to grow up, find my prince charming, get married, have lots of wonderful children and live happily ever after. yes, that was the ideal.

but as i grow up, reality strikes and slams you in the face. fairytales don't exist. you need to make belief and find happiness in the passing moments of your lives. despite the responbilities that i carry once adulthood beckons, i know deep in my heart that someday, i will create my own family.. something is might not be perfect but almost close to perfection.

along came haris. God sent. my sister got divorced and this boy was stuck in between. i told my aunt that we should take him in. that i would take care of him and provide for him. just like how my aunt took me and my two siblings in when my parents got divorced. haris has always been a happy baby. easy to take care of. he brought so much joy to the family.

today, he is 7 and has been such an amazing son to me. he reminds me alot of myself. how much i try to be "perfect" so that i can make my aunt happy. i see me in haris. a child that tries very hard to do his best and not disappoint those whom he loves.

(he likes to pose for pictures and so did i when i was 7.)

(he loves food and so do i till now!)

when i'm sad, he gives me random hugs and tell me that everything is going to be ok. when i'm sleeping, he would pull up the blanket and cover me. randomly, he will smile at me, assuring me that he loves me.. "mama, i love you a million percent." yes, my son. i know you do. he will always be my number one baby.

now, i'm expecting a child. my first, but second to haris. i don't know how he will deal with another sibling. it scares me sometimes but i know that haris will take it positively. he rubs my tummy and talks to the baby. "adik, don't kick mama so much ok. adik must behave.".. "adik, what are you doing? are you sleeping or awake?"... "hello adik.. this is abang haris. which side of the tummy are you at now?"

as much as i can, hisham and i try to get haris involved in conversations about the baby being around in october. haris has been receptive so far, alhamdulillah. my handsome boy will be a big brother. i know he is up for the challenge. i have faith in him. =)

for now, at 6 months and 7 kilos heavier, the baby kicks are getting stronger. just a couple of days ago, i felt the baby hiccups. it's a funny feeling i can't describe. weird but nice. oh, and swollen & gigantic feet! thanks to the endless walking in melaka during the school holidays.. ahh.. the "perks" of pregnancy. but it's still alright cos my husband says that i am still the most beautiful pregnant woman on earth.. =P heee... i love you Sayang!!

so far so good. according to the gestational calendar, i've got slightly over 12 weeks more to go! time to seriously pen down the shopping list and get shopping!

anyway, so many have been asking if it's a boy or a girl.. the husband and i are still keeping mum. it's a suprise! but what's your guess? cast your votes on the poll that can be found on left bar of my blog! kita tengok siapa yang tepat! ;)

over 5 months

2011-06-10T14:50:00.007+08:00

" A baby is something you carry inside you for 9 months, in your arms for 3 years and in your heart till the day you die..."

i still can't believe i'm carrying a living thing inside me. the kicks and flutters are so surreal. masya'allah. i am indeed blessed to have been giving such an opportunity from the Almightly. =)

so far, the pregnancy has been a rather smooth one. i've been feeling rather good and positive about things. i'm in my second trimester now and after much reading, this is apparently the time when we feel our best. despite the weight gain, i know it's all good. =)

so, at slightly over 5 months and 6kg heavier, i feel great. and that includes the fact that my husband STILL thinks that i'm the most beautiful pregnant woman ever. LOL. hisham has been the sweetest. always reassuring me about how much he loves and the baby. always doing his best to make sure i'm happy.

sayang, you are still my number one baby no matter what. thank you for being an amazing and supportive partner so far. i'm blessed to have you in my life. susah senang, kita bersama kan, sayang? ;)

walaupun kadangkala i cakap perut i dah boncit, tak seksi meksi macam dulu, badan i dah macam ikan paus, you masih cakap i lah wanita paling lawa yang ada kat dunia ni.. aiseyman sayang.. i lah isteri paling bertuah sekali.. hu hu hu.. ;P

i LOVE long dresses and this is my current favorite one cos it's PINK! so everytime i put on this dress, i feel like a princess. lol. this distracts me from the fact that i've bloated up and my waist is gone. but like i've said, it's OK. cos as long as my baby is doing alright, mama is one happy pregnant woman. =)

i shall enjoy this second trimester before i start waddling around with this tummy of mine. till then! =)

it's official!

2011-05-21T11:09:00.014+08:00

recently, many have commented... "wah nona.. happy nampak.. badan dah naik eh!" i will usually smile it off and walk away. yes, i have put on weight. back to square one it is. but, for a very good reason.

I'm PREGNANT!

that explains why i look pudgy nowadays. but how do you tell it to strangers who don't matter?

well, i suppose since my tummy is growing bigger by the day, it's about time i share it with the world. it's best that you hear it from me, rather than hearsay from people..

i'm over 4 months now and our baby is due in October. the husband has been very much excited about my pregnancy. initially, i was overwhelmed, VERY overwhelmed by the news. i just got married and *poof* i got pregnant!

the physical changes to my body was a little too much to handle. i recall feeling soooo sleepy during the first trimester. thank God i didn't suffer from morning sickness. this pregnancy has been a breeze so far and i'm very much blessed.

the little one inside me has been behaving really well. i feel really good and positive throughout this pregnancy. no morning sickness. no cravings. no mood swings. steady weight gain. shinier nails and glossy hair. and my tummy is not even showing yet. so far so good. alhamdulillah.

we already know the gender of our baby.. but my husband and i would like to keep it to ourselves for now. let it be a surprise to the world. =)

also, i would like to apologise to a certain media which apparently found out about my pregnancy and wanted to publish it publicly. my husband and i declined it for personal reasons.. you see, i'm no superstar. like any other married woman, we get pregnant. so, i really don't see a big deal for my pregnancy to be make known to the world in such a manner. however, i do appreciate the thought and am very much humbled by the opportunity. i'm very old-school. so, not for now but maybe once the baby is out, perhaps? heee. *winks*

for those of you who have found out from some other sources besides myself, i thank you for your kind interest and also well wishes. this is my first pregnancy, so i'm keeping it low till i've safely delivered. superstitious? no, just a little conservative. =)

i am very much excited because i've always wanted to know how it would feel to have a little one squirming inside of you. yes, i feel the flutters now. the baby is swimming and stretching and it's such a wonderful feeling. besides that, i'm thankful for such a supportive, caring and loving husband. hisham has been beyond amazing throughout. he makes sure i'm comfortable. he reassures me about the baby. i know he is going to be a fabulous daddy.. and i'm indeed the luckiest pregnant woman alive. ;)

being a mummy to haris has been an amazing experience and i'm glad of the way he turned out so far. but now, it's time for me start like any other real mums and bear a child of my own, growing inside my own tummy and nurture the child with all the love that i have. thank you Allah for this wonderful little gift. alhamdulillah...

dearest baby, thank you for being such a good little one inside me. mama, abah & abang haris are so excited about you. we keep talking about you each day and how much your presence is going to change our lives. you are a gift from Allah and we promise to take excellent care of you. we hope you will stay strong and grow to be a healthy baby. see you in october.. insya'allah. =)

Love,

Mama & Abah.

p & t

2011-05-06T13:30:00.004+08:00

marriage has taught me so many valuable lessons. one of which is patience and tolerance. it is no longer just about me and my feelings but it is also about those around me. especially those who matters.

when i was much younger, i used to retaliate and question things more often. but now, i choose to silence myself and reflect on what went wrong, trying to make sense out of things and figure out the best solution that could benefit both parties. it takes alot of ego and humility to be able to swallow your feelings so that others can thrive and be happy.

people sometime misinterpret your good intentions as something with an underlying meaning. this i often experience, now that families have been extended and more lives are involved. you mean a good thing, but they interpret it as selfishness. it can be emotionally charging at times, but i'm thankful for a partner who sees what i see. at the end of the day, no what people may say or how they may judge us, it's those that are close to your hearts are the one that matters the most.

so, it's ok to swallow your pride and feelings once in a while. it's ok for others to come up with scary stories of you. it's ok for people to make silly assumptions which don't make sense. they don't make you and neither should they break you. life is what you make of it. patience and tolerance will go a long way if used properly and adequately.

i'm good so far. still making sense of things. getting used to the people around me. learning how to play clean politics amongst those who matters. this is the learning journey that i chose and i will whole heartedly walk this path.

learn to be patient and all times despite the ridiculously challenging times. learn to tolerate others because we are all not born the same.

Allah is watching over me and you. i'm sure. =)

hello misha!

2011-04-26T16:47:00.005+08:00

14 years ago, we were just 13 year old strangers and secondary school brought us together. today, we are all grown up, with responsibilities to bear.

i'm proud of my girlfriends and how far we have come.

to add on to the list of yummy mummys is Aidah! the quiet one in the group who doesn't quite talk alot but her presence comforts all of us.

congrats to Aidah and Shafiq on the arrival of Baby Misha! she is so perfect and adorable.. may she grow up to be an amazing individual just like her mummy. =)

the natural progression in life is so wonderful yet full of mysteries. it hasn't been easy for me but i'm glad for all of the experiences that has been placed upon me. for i am what i am today because of the things that i went through.

ladies, let's stick through thick and thin together. i love you girls. =)

day 106

2011-04-18T18:18:00.002+08:00

i feel like shouting it out to the world.. but there's this other side that says.. NO! therefore, i shall keep it low and exclusive. so, there. yet another random post which means absolutely, nothing. for now that is. ;)

2011-04-06T15:23:00.000+08:00

"Being married is like having a colored television set, you'd never want to get back to black and white". =)

self-love

2011-03-23T13:14:00.007+08:00

i feel good. alhamdulillah. i don't know why i'm having all these happy hormones. it's just weird but i'm actually enjoying it. i've always felt that it's important to love ourselves. because if we do not appreciate who we are, then it's going to be a tougher road ahead. you should learn to love yourself FIRST before you are able to spread the love and share it with others.

you see, when you really love someone, you always want the very best for him
or her, right? you would do anything for them. ou would make sacrifices for them and defend them if anyone speaks badly of them, right? then i feel that the same thing goes when you love yourself.

when you love yourself, you will want the very best for yourself. you would not accept anything less than the best for yourself. you will want the best relationships, the best career, the best partner and the best home. anything lesser than that wont suffice. you will not accept anything mediocre. like how i've always said to Hisham, that i will not settle for second best beacuse i only want the best.

what i'm trying to say is, technically people who love themselves tend to set a higher standard for themselves. they have big dreams and set high expectations of themselves. but having all these also means mamking sacrifices along the way. good things don't come easy. you will do what it takes to be better and achieve your goals. i was once very fat, i told myself to stop mistreating my body, started exercising religiously and lost weight. today, i do my best to eat healthily and avoid junk foods. i grew up in a low income family, but i told myself that i'm not going to end up a production line operator, but i'm going to make lots of money and support my family.. and i did.

you'll be amazed at the power of your mind and the power of loving yourself. wake up each morning, look at yourself in the mirror and say thanks to God for making you perfect in your own special way.

be thankful for another day given to live and spend time with those you love. we don't know when God will take all these away from us, so let's live each day the best that we can.

i always say this.. happiness NEVER last.. so find temporary happiness in the little passing moments of our lives..

so, LOVE yourself! =)

good mood monday

2011-03-21T13:06:00.006+08:00

it's a monday and i'm actually feeling fabulous. hmmm.

life is just weird and crazy like that. we wake up in the morning, wash up, have breakfast, take our vitamins and head to work. whether we dread or enjoy going to work depends on what we call our "moods". yes, it has become our driving force. how we feel determines how we react towards our surroundings.

as i grow older, i've learnt to cheat my mood. i can wake up feeling totally crappy but i will force myself to smile and think happy thoughts and "pretend" to be happy. somehow, it works. i end up feeling good after that.

we all have the power to change how we feel. no one else besides ourselves should be responsible for determining our moods. if we feel great, we are able to do greater things than yesterday. if you feel crappy and depressed, everything else negative will just follow.

think about thoughts that makes you happy. put your worries aside and focus that energy on how to make things better. think about that rainbow and not the storm. how pretty it is and how good it's going to make you feel.

i've got a million worries in my head right now. but i've also got a million dreams to fulfill and live. therefore, i told myself that i should NOT be all sad and moody, but i shall look forward to the better things that lie ahead. =)

if you don't believe in yourself and the things that you are able to achieve, then how can you get anybody else to believe such? have faith and believe that you are just as great a being. =)

think about it my friends and have a fabulous monday! SMILE!

m.h.m.z

2011-03-20T15:50:00.003+08:00

because God made us in pairs and i have found my match.

so let's continue staying strong and be there for each other.

no one told us this was going to be easy.

but deep in our hearts we know that this is meant to be.

thank you, my husband for all of the sacrifices made and love showered.

alhamdulillah, i am a lucky wife, because i have YOU in my simple life.

let's continue chasing our dreams and pushing each other to be a better person each day. the dark clouds will pass and we shall see our rainbow right ahead.

i love you Mohamed Hisham. more than you can ever imagine. =)

my humble wedding

2011-03-09T16:35:00.003+08:00

alhamdulillah, i have been married since 1 january this year. it's such a surreal feeling, still.. however, now that the hype is slowly fading away, i guess it's about time for me to do a proper closure of my wedding and do the necessary personal thank yous on my humble blog...

my wedding was very much simple and non-extravagant. i've always believed that less is more. it was such an intimate and small affair and i'm glad it was planned such. i am a simple person to begin with and i feel that my small humble wedding was simply PERFECT. =)

my nikah ceremony was held at masjid al-mawaddah at sengkang. it's a new mosque and has a very nice and small air-conditioned event hall with a simply decorated wedding dais.

these are the most important people for my wedding. my IBU in grey and her sisters. they did help me quite alot in the wedding preparations and without them, it would have been a bigger challenge.

this is sabreena and halawah. my favourite girlfriends who stayed back late the night before as they were helping me pack the wedding favours. i love this girls and they were there for me throughout.

kadi salim jasman was very calm and funny throughout. uncoventional as well as he broke many traditions and norm. it did baffle us to why he was behaving such and the only conclusion was, because i was NONA KIRANA. hmm. but alhamdulillah, with a single breath, at 11am, hisham and i were officially husband and wife. =)

hisham's family. now, i have a Mak and Abah, plus fabulous siblings in law. =)

my ibu. the one who took care of me since i was 2.

there you have it. my wedding in pictures. =)

+++

i'm also taking this opportunity to thank my God sent service providers who helped me out alot throughout the whole process.

- VERSARI ADE - bridal outifts & styling

the number ONE on my list. abg hadi was a miracle. he saved us from a bad experience we had with another bridal company. to cut the story short, the kind hearted abg hadi decided to provide us with his services and did an amazing job by producing 5 new outfits for me in less than 6 months. i first met him during my girlfriend's wedding and we have become acquaintance since then. his works was indeed flawless and exclusive as compared to some other bridal companies. not to mention that i LOVE his make up. it is simple and comfortable to put on the whole day. i didn't feel cakey at all and i looked like myself! my experience working with abg hadi and his fabulous team has been nothing more than a pleasure. he listened to what i wanted and improvised on the designs. he realised my dream of wanting a pink princess barbie gown!

but let me tell you this, before you start pointing fingers and say that he treats me such because i'm a "celebrity", than YOU"RE WRONG! he treats all his clients just the same. i've seen it myself and i'm had so many girlfriends who used his services and was given the same fair treatment. abg hadi is very accomodative. the point is, if you're nice and kind to people, of course you will get the same in return, right? so, brides to be, as much as your big day is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing to focus on, make sure that you still keep your calm and be nice to your service providers especially your mak andam, because they are the ones who are going to make you look pretty on your wedding.

abg hadi did a superb job in my songket outfits. it is actually his forte. the songket outfits were all carefully hand beaded and was simply flawless and so rich looking. i really felt like royalty. plus, i love my make up!!! he did awesome on my plain face. =)

abg hadi, i'm glad we crossed paths. God is kind enough to lead me to you and your awesome team. it has been a memorable experience working with VA and i'm very glad that you and your team were responsible for dolling me and hisham up. thank you for customizing the 5 GORGEOUS outifts for us. thank you is never enough and we hope that God will bless you for your kindness and big heart. sincere beings like you are rare to find and i'm glad that i've had the opportunity to work with you and the VA team. thank you again, abg hadi. YOU'RE THE BEST! ;)

- GRAFIKHAUS - wedding invitation cards, guestbook & posters

thank you Anuar and the team for being responsible in designing my pretty pink and white wedding cards. it really suited our whole traditional theme. i'm glad to have worked with a wonderful team of young entrepreneurs and i'm happy with the way the cards and posters turned out! they managed to come up with a new card design for me and listened to what i wanted. the card was different and unique and i'm very pleased with it. thank Anuar and the Grafikhaus team for accomodating to my requests and delivering the cards as promised, despite the tight timeline. =)

- OUR MIDAS TOUCH - wedding trays gubahan

our wedding gifts for both hisham and my side were done up by Mira from Our Midas Touch. i love her works as it is simple yet elegant. it was also such a pleasure to work with her. Mira listened to what i wanted and tried her best to go about executing. she managed to find a LILAC songket for me! it was really sweet of her to go all out to find the songket for me as a base for the tray designs.

thank you Mira, for accomodating to my requests and delivery the items personally to both sides. we are touched by your kindness and are still very much amazed at your creativity in designing the gifts perfectly! indeed, i highly recommend her for your brides to be who are in need of someone to do up your fancy gubahans! =)

- FLORACLAY SINGAPORE - hand bouquets

initially, when i met Nora, it was just to discuss on ONE hand bouquet that is made from clay. i have never been a fan of fresh flowers because i feel that they die too quickly.. hehe.. therefore, the idea of having a clay hand bouquet was just perfect! the flowers looked real and it's actually much lighter to carry around as compared to fresh flowers! however, Nora did THREE hand bouquets for me which was a very pleasant surprise! she managed to coordinate the colours of the flowers to my outfits and it went perfectly together.

thank you Nora for personally handcrafting the flower petals and putting the pieces together and coming up with such beautiful creations. i was very proud to hold your floral hand bouquets and it was such a pleasure to work with you. such a soft spoken person she is, but very creative and determined! thank you for the gorgeous hand bouquets! ;)

- PESONA BELLE - bridal henna & sirih dara

ahhh.. the bridal henna. a must for most singaporean malay brides. Wanie from pesona belle was kind enough to offer me her services after a prior service provider decided to play punk on me. therefore, Wanie became my henna saviour!

Wanie from Pesona Belle is a bubbly and friendly person to begin with. She made me feel comfortable during our initial meet up session and her warmth reassured me that she will indeed deliver as promised. Wanie and I discussed on the henna design and i did email her a couple of designs that i liked. she improvised on the ideas and came up with something that pleases me. on the actual day of my henna application, Wanie came all prepared and focused. throughout the long 4 hours, she remained chirpy and continued to make me feel comfortable throughout the session. not to mention her amazing talent for detailing. my henna artwork turned out gorgeous and received many compliments from relatives and friends. I would highly recommend Wanie to doll up your hands and feet with her pretty henna designs and intricate artwork. besides her henna service, Wanie also did my Sireh Dara which was so unique and different from those conventional ones. I was very much pleased with it as it suits my taste. two thumbs up for Wanie and Pesona Belle! I am really glad that they were part of my wedding and i'm sure most brides to be out there will feel the same if they engaged Pesona Belle's services.

- HUSGIF CREATIONS - bridal car decor

one week before my wedding, i was scrambling for someone to do up my car. it was seriously the last thing on my mind and i totally overlooked it. however, after asking Nora for some contacts, she managed to hook me up with Kak Husna from Husgif. she is yet another angel who came from nowhere. she agreed to do up my bridal car despite the tight timeline given to her.

hisham and i felt that our bridal car should just be our own car. no other fancy vehicles because we wanted to keep it real. so, yes, our bridal car was our humble mitsubishi which turned pretty after Kak Husna's magic touch!

Kak Husna, thank you for coming to rescue and going all out to find my gold netting to fit into my wedding theme. you are such an amazing businesswoman and i look forward to working with you again in future! ;)

- ONEMOTION STUDIOS - videography

Shah and his team did an EXCELLENT job on my pre-wedding videos, photo montage as well as the actual wedding video. it was so much fun working with him despite the long hours of shooting. i have to say that i was very impressed with his level of professionalism. his equipments are industry standard and his filming studies background just made things a breeze. he listened to what we wanted and went with the flow, always saying.. sure.. can.. why not.. Shah is a talented videographer and his passion in doing this is very much apparent. despite his crazy schedule, (if you didn't already know, he is from the group REVALINA) he made sure that he met the datelines and delivered the goods as promised.

the part one of our actual wedding video can be found on the fanpage of ONEMOTION STUDIO on facebook. if you have the time, do visit them there and have a look. Shsh and team, thank you for the flawless and fabulous work. we love it! =)

- A PICTUREBOOK WEDDING - photography

Ridz, my favourite photographer of all time. you snapped us during our engagement and you did it again for our wedding. thank you for making us feel comfortable throughout. your amazing shots captured the essence of the moment. we are totally in love with our wedding album!

- JENTAYU GALLERY - wedding deco

thank you Mel for doing up the humble multi-purpose hall and transforming it into a pretty garden inspired area. the white english chairs are gorgeous and was the talk of my wedding! the simple yet elegant look was something that pleased me. it was a pleasure to work with you and i wish you and the Jentayu Team all the best! =)

- ARTISTIQUE CAKES - wedding cakes

thank you Ally for coming up with the pretty pink cake for me and the gold one for hisham's side. the cake is not only gorgeous but also delicious to eat! =)

and... to top it off.. Hisham and I made it on the cover of MAJALAH PERKAHWINAN! when i was much younger, i've always had this thing about that magazine.. that how nice would it be if I am the one on the cover with my future husband.. so, call it the law of attraction, but it happened! =D

so there you have it, a detailed entry of my humble wedding...

+++

i would also like to take this opportunity to thank my Ibu for sticking by my side and making things easy for me when it comes to decision making. i love you Ibu. to haris, thank you for standing by my side and loving me still...

thank you to my aunties and uncles for working together and cooperating really well throughout my wedding.. especially to Mami Siti and Uncle Jamal who allowed me to use their house for the 2 day event.

thank you to my male and female cousins for making the event an even more joyous one with your humour and presence!

thank you to my nephews and nieces for helping out and behaving really well during my wedding! ;)

to hisham's side of the family, thank you for accepting me as part of your clan now. i am very happy to be part of such a happy and big family.

thank you also to those who made the time to come down for my wedding. i know it's new year's day and that is why i truly appreciated the effort in gracing my humble event.

to everyone else who was directly or indirectly involved for my wedding, my heartfelt thank you for making this possible.

may Allah bless you for all of your kindness that you have showered upon Hisham and I.. we are humbled by your contribution towards our big day. till we cross paths again.. Thank YOU... your kind prayers are all i seek and may this blessed union of souls last for an eternity... amin. =)

selamat hari lahir sayang...

2011-03-08T16:20:00.003+08:00

my little boy turned 7 yesterday. he didn't have a cake nor a fancy party. just a simple outing with the family to jb. but, he was very happy. of course i felt guilty as a mother. i'm bogged down with a million things that i've stripped him the luxury in bringing him up. despite that, i'm thankful for having such an amazing son. he understood what's happening around us and my family.

Haris, terima kasih kerana menjadi seorang anak yang sangat membanggakan Mama. tiada curahan harta benda mahupun wang ringgit yang dapat Mama beri pada Haris.. hanya doa agar Haris menjadi seorang anak yang bijak, soleh, berjaya dan berdikari satu hari nanti.. Mama dan Abah akan terus bekerja keras demi kebahagiaan dan kesejahteraan keluarga kita. Mama amat menghargai kehadiran Haris dalam hidup Mama. Semoga Allah akan terus memelihara keluarga kita.. Amin.

like he always said to me.. "everything is going to be ok, Mama.."

insya'Allah, it will someday, my Love. =)

my heart is turning 7

2011-03-05T11:35:00.007+08:00

you know how sometimes you have a million things to say but you just can't find the right time to pen your thoughts down in words. yup, i have lots of those moments. despite being married for over 2 months, i'm still adapting to the new status. =)

anyway, i was just reading the feature articles on straits times about last year's a level students and their results. some of their human strikes felt so close to me and i actually teared while reading them even though i didnt know who they were.

for example, the twin, derek and daren tan from hwa chong junior college. their father works as a security guard and their mother a cleaner. i'm sure they didnt live a life of luxury but they excelled so well in school and made their parents proud. i grew up in a poor family and luxury was not in our vocabulary. i had to struggle to get into a good school and was up against even smarter girls in secondary school. but, i told myself that i'm not going to let my background hinder my hunger for education. i enjoyed studying and did quite ok in the o levels. was supposed to go to JC but i chose the poly route. gave tuition and enrichment classes when i was in poly so that i could support myself and pay for my education needs. i grew up tough. i knew how difficult it was to get money...

now, that i'm older and capable of supporting myself and my family, i ponder about what kind of parent am i to Haris and my future children. i love Haris. he is such an amazing boy. he never fails to do his best to please me . but, now that i'm able to provide him with material things, it struck me that i should pull back a little and not shower him with so much material wealth. however, to begin with he is not the sort to ask me for things.

Haris will turn 7 years old on 7 march. for now, i can't afford him a lavish birthday party. so it's going to be just a small family dinner. when i asked him where does he want to have his birthday dinner at.. his reply was.. "anywhere as long as you like it, mama. you pick your favourite place." now, tell me, how not to fall in love with such a boy. he is indeed the sweetest boy ever.

i'm glad of the way he turned out to be. not demanding nor spoilt. polite and hardworking. driven just like me. but, it's still to early to say but i'm determined to give him the best so that he can succeed in life someday. despite the odds, we can do this. let's continue working hard so that we can have a better life in the future...

i might not be the richest woman on earth, but i know my heart is rich with love for this little boy.

Haris, i love you.

try. again.

2011-02-09T16:56:00.003+08:00

sometimes i think i'm too hard on myself. i beat myself up for the little things that i fail to achieve. i get upset when things don't go my way and i blame it on myself for being incompetent. have you ever felt such?

it's like when i look at other successful women, i feel small. i'm not that famous. nor gorgeous. definitely not skinny. and not (yet) rich. yes, i beat myself up over such things. but when i take a step back and reflect, i feel thankful that i know of such inspiring and successful people in my life.

i've always been a perfectionist. i cannot stand inefficiency and incompetency. therefore when i see other doing better than me, i ponder alot. why them and not me? well, there could be a million reasons why. reasons beyond my comprehension. this however, pushes me to do better and go beyond my limits and abilities.

i am no where near perfect. i am just as simple and human as you are.

so ladies, i just want to say that it's alright to be you. as long as you know that you are trying your best to be a better person each day and continue doing good to others, i think that is perfectly alright. =)

i don't always succeed in whatever i do. but i always do my best to keep on trying.

so, smile. chin up. and fly. ;)

semalam, hari ini dan esok...

2011-02-07T13:30:00.000+08:00

hidup ini kadangkala terlalu singkat untuk penyesalan. tiada ruang untuk perasan hasad dengki kerana kita tidak tahu bila tiba masanya kita menutup mata ini buat selamanya. oleh itu, pelajarinya untuk menyayangi lebih daripada membenci. hakiskan ruang di hati yang dipenuhi perasaan negatif dan isikan ia dengan keindahan cinta selagi terdaya… ayuh, kita cuba ye.. ;)

Awan berarak mendung berlalu...

2011-01-31T19:17:00.002+08:00

Kadangkala pengorbanan berpanjangan itu adalah satu dugaan untuk kita. Walaupun payah untuk ditafsir tetapi pasti ada sebab disebaliknya. Mengapa saya dan bukan dia? Mungkin kerana kita yang dipilih untuk menanggungnya kerana Allah tahu dan pasti akan kebolehan kita. Awan mendung pasti akan berlalu kerana hujan dan ribut hanya sementara. Walaupun sinar belum jelas kelihatan tapi pasti ia sedang tersembunyi disebalik awan.

Bersabar Nona... Kerana Allah lebih memahami..

i love u. u love me. we are happy family.

2011-01-29T16:34:00.007+08:00

somehow, having your own little nucleus makes it complete. my family is neither famous, nor rich. my family is slightly dysfunctional and not typical. however, this makes us unique. we are happy with each other and we make each other happy.

haris has always been a blessing. a positive little boy who never fails to amaze me in many ways. i'm very certain that he will make an excellent big brother to my future children.

Mr. H is my soulmate indeed. our relationship has never quite been bed of roses. despite the challenges, we are still going strong because we know and believe that we are made for each other. this whole marriage thing is definitely not easy. we have learnt to sacrfice each other's feelings for sake of making the other happy.. we compromise at so many things.. we forgive, forget and move on much easier now. marriage does take alot of effort, adaptation and hard work. but, at the end of the day, we are still able to look into each other's eyes, knowing that this is love.

my Double H makes up my little family now.

they make me happy. VERY happy. a feeling that even money can't buy. =)

i love you my darlings. =)

citrus addiction

2011-01-26T10:25:00.006+08:00

the husband and i have been going to the gym regularly now. it's our little attempt at staying fit and healthy. quite a challenge at times cos both of us are foodies. we LOVE good food. yes. so exercise is the only option to keep the love handles away.

besides exercise, i'm also counting calories and watching what i put in my mouth. a friend once told me, "a moment on the lips, forever on the hips." i've never been skinny all my life. just the thought of it is impossible. however, it is POSSIBLE for me to be slim and fit. therefore, 2011 will be a better year for my waist. insya'Allah. ;)

well anyway, i have found a new addiction!

POMELO and GRAPEFRUIT JUICE!

been taking it almost daily and i love the sweet, sour and bitter taste!

so i did some check on its health benefits and i shall share it with you...

POMELO
"credits to: http://hubpages.com/hub/Health-Benefits-of-Pomelo"

- The rind of pomelo contains a high amount of bioflavonoid. The bioflavonoid in pomelo was discovered to even stop cancer cells from spreading in breast cancer patients by ridding the body of excess estrogen.

- Even if the juice of pomelo has an acid taste, its juice actually has an alkaline reaction after digestion. It is therefore beneficial in the digestive system.
Pomelo has pectin which is effective in reducing the accumulation of arterial deposits.

- The high content of vitamin C helps to strengthen and maintain the elasticity of arteries.

Pomelo can aid in the weight loss process, because the fat burning enzyme in pomelo can help to absorb and reduce the starch and sugar in the body.

Pomelo can even help in cases of fatigue, diabetes, fever, insomnia, sore throat, stomach and pancreatic cancer

GRAPEFRUIT JUICE
"credits to: http://www.organicfacts.net/health-benefits/fruit/health-benefits-of-grapefruit.html"

Appetite Loss: Grapefruit works as an excellent appetizer as compared to any other drug. It is said that smell of the grapefruit reduces the feeling of hunger. This is the reason why people include grapefruit in their weight loss programs. High fiber contained by this fruit can satisfy hunger and thus, avoids any overeating temptation.

Fever: The pulp or the juice of grapefruit provides assistance to the patient to recover easily from the fever. It reduces burning sensation that occurs during high temperature. It also cures several cases of cold and phenomena. Grapefruit juice, if combined with water, can quench the thirst.

Fatigue: Grapefruit is beneficial in the treatment of fatigue. It helps you to dispel your fatigue and general tiredness caused due to the routine work. It can bring about a refreshing feeling in you when you drink equal amount of grapefruit juice and lemon juice.

Influenza: Grapefruit is a valuable remedy for influenza as it helps to minimize acidity from the system. The bitter properties arising from an essence called 'maringin' in grapefruit tones up the system and the digestive swathe.

Acidity: The fresh grapefruit juice has alkaline reaction after digestion. The citric acid of the fruit is tarnished in the human body and thus, increases the effect of the alkalinity reaction after digestion. The juice extracted from the grapefruit is beneficial in preventing the acid formation and many other diseases that arise due to the presence of acidity in the body.

Indigestion: Grapefruit is useful for solving the problem of indigestion. It is very light as compared to other food articles and thus, acts immediately on indigestion by easing the heat and irritation caused in the stomach. It improves the flow of digestive juices, thereby improving the digestive systems.

Insomnia: A simple glass of grapefruit juice, if drunk before going to bed, can promote healthy and sweet sleep and thus, alleviates insomnia.

Diabetes: A diabetic patient can safely eat a grapefruit. The consumption of this fruit can reduce the starches from the body. If a patient is diabetic, intake of grapefruit can facilitate you to fight with this health issue.

Constipation: A glass full of fresh squeezed grapefruit in the morning is the best remedy to control the constipation. They result best in stimulating the colon and other parts of the body.

Flatulence: 10 to 20 drops of grapefruit seeds in the juice, taken before the meals and three times a day, work as an appropriate pro-biotic and digestive enzyme.

+++++

both fruits are from the citrus family, which explain the similarities of some of it's benefits and properties. i've always believed that going natural and taking care of your diet is more beneficial as compared to stuffing yourself with synthetic pills. so ladies, please throw away those pills that claim to assist you on weight loss and go natural!

i get my stock of pomelos from GIANT Supermarket cos it's VERY cheap.. and my favourite Grapefruit juice is the sunkist one. it's Orange and Pink Grapefruit. do try it and share with me your experience ya.

if you'd like to find out more about fat fighting food, perhaps you might want to take a look at THIS! ;)

selamat mencuba!! =)

the blissful King and Queen

2011-01-21T16:18:00.005+08:00

the princess met her prince charming.

they fell madly in love.

he proposed and they got married.

now they are KING and QUEEN.

a fairytale it has been.

i'm blissfully married & loving it.

alhamdulillah. =)

about a fabulous 2011 so far!

2011-01-19T10:44:00.004+08:00

ok. it's been over 2 weeks since my last entry. i know i owe my readers a full rundown/review of my wedding. it's on the way ok.

meanwhile, i'm randomly blogging about what i would like to achieve in 2011. it's been an interesting adaptation process with the husband and all. marriage is definitely not an easy thing to upkeep, but i'm loving every moment for now. alhamdulillah.

2011 started out fabulous. i got an amazing partner. i made new friends who inspire me (*points at syaheeda & salmah*). work has been kind to me. family relations have never been better. all's good so far. alhamdulillah.

BUT!

i think i've put on weight. yes. the husband LOVES eating. he can eat and eat and eat and eat. as for me, i've got a love-hate relationship with food. in 2006, i was almost 90kg. that was the peak for me and i NEVER want to go back there. i think i've been complacent in taking care of my body. therefore, one of the goals that i wish to achieve in 2011, is to have a healthy BMI. it's not about being skinny cos i know there is no way on earth i can be a size 0, so, let's aim for a size 8 or 10 for now. fyi, i'm in between a size 12 & 14. which is normal if i live in the states, but since this is singapore and everyone i know is so tiny, let's aim at that. i need to get back on track on the dieting & exercise. i need to inspire myself all over again.

i'm sure that some of us will say that inspiration might be hard to find but it is all around us. sometimes, all we need in life is a boost.. or something to keep us on the right track, or something to keep us inspired. those times would be the times where these effective ways of inspiring ourselves will actually help us. these will help us in doing whatever it is we want to do in our lives. as for me, i try to find inspiration from reading motivational books, watching inspirational movies or videos and even from people i know who are inspirational in their own ways.

inspiration keeps you focused and happy. when we are happy with ourselves, the things we are doing and our environment, only then can we be productive and achiever greater things in life. therefore, i would also like to continue inspiring people around me. life is too short for regrets, contemplation and what ifs. i want to be happy and so should you.

it's alright to be different, quirky and random.

2011 will be FABULOUS! cos Hisham and I said so! =)

the day i signed my life to hisham

2011-01-01T23:51:00.003+08:00

alhamdulillah... i'm MARRIED!!!

a new year.. a new beginning for me and my family.

hisham and i were solemnised today, 1.1.11 at 11am by Ustaz Salim Jasman. it was such an unexplainable flow of emotions that ended perfectly with Hisham saying the akad with just one breath.

i will indeed update more pictures soon!

my heartfelt thank you to my family members, excellent service providers, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, VIPS and everyone who came together to celebrate my special day! i am indeed very touched by the effort put in by everyone to make my wedding day such a memorable one.

and a special shout out to the AMAZING SYAHEEDA for this pretty new layout and also for being my main wedding co-ordinator, alongside Salmah & Saleha.. you girls are awesome!!! my wedding was a fairytale because of you girls!! =))

another day awaits tomorrow at Hisham's side.. so, i shall get some beauty sleep now and will come back next week for an update!

thank you again for your kind well wishes & support!!

my family and i truly appreciates it. =)

i still can't believe i'm married! heeee..

but, yeay! *smiles*

XOXO
Mrs. Hisham.

about a place once known as Peking

2010-12-24T10:48:00.006+08:00

Beijing was amazing (minus the winter). i have new found respect for China now. its history, culture and FOOD! surprisingly, it was quite palatable. however, the makciks in my group did bring along lots of sambal belacan and cili padi, which made dining experiences more enjoyable. heee..

forbidden city was an eye opener. such a beautiful and breathtaking place. oh ah the GREAT WALL OF CHINA! i climbed all the way up baby! despite the flu, cough & asthma, i did it! like how many times will u climb up one of the world's wonders.. so, yeah, i did it. syabas nona.

here are some random pictures. some are mine and some are fb tagged photos from those who were part of the tour... will try to upload more on my fanpage (if i have the time).. cos my wedding preps is driving me insane, in a positive way that is. ;)

enjoy! =)

so that's about it for beijing. made new friends on the trip, including some amazing girls who were just so adorable. thank you WARNA & Orange Travel for the opportunity. tak sangka saya boleh sampai juga ke negeri China.. =)

ok. 8 more days to my wedding.

back to more madness! =)

about 31 days left

2010-12-01T17:20:00.007+08:00

today is 1 december 2011.

which means i've got EXACTLY ONE MONTH left to 1 January 2011.

i'm very nervous and stressed out actually.

ridiculous breakouts on my face. dark eye rings. sleepless nights.

now i understand the term "BRIDE-ZILLA". cos i think i'm almost there.

tapi takpe. saya akan cuba untuk bertenang dan lakukan semua ini satu persatu.

insya'allah, tak akan sampai ke tahap macam pengantin di bawah ni. kalau dah macam ni, kira kes darurat.

i won't be inviting the whole of singapore cos my wedding will be a very small, intimate and simple affair. buat besar-besar sekarang, tapi kalau lepas tu hutang keliling pinggang, siapa nak tanggung? jadi, biarlah saya buat yang sedang-sedang saje.. kalau buat yang over, orang gossip. kalau buat yang biasa-biasa pun nanti kena gossip. jadi biarlah i buat majlis yang kecil dan menjimatkan wang kerana saya tak rela dibeban hutang.. bukan senang jadi anak yatim piatu tau.. selamat saya ada support network seperti makcik2, pakcik2, sepupu sepipit, teman-teman dan para penyedia khidmat yang hebat-hebat belaka.. dan kerana itu, saya cukup bersyukur.. heeee.. ;)

encik hisham! we are so going to do this ok!!! mesti jadi lah! =D

about my everything

2010-11-11T11:46:00.003+08:00

i am blessed to have these two wonderful people in my life.

Hisham. thank you for all the sacrifices that you've done for me. thank you for accepting me as i am. thank you for loving me back just as much if not more.

Haris. thank you for being an amazing little boy. thank you for being you.

my double H.

my happiness.

my world.

my everything.

i love you.

about my number one love

2010-11-09T11:05:00.006+08:00

last night was one of those nights that i felt so down. after kickboxing, i took a long bus ride home and basically stoned all the way. reached home at about 9 plus, washed up and lied down on my bed.

Haris came in. "Mama, why are you sleeping so early? watch TV with me la. it's animal night you know."

i replied, "I don't feel like watching TV tonight because i'm feeling a little sad."

Haris hugged me and said, "but, why are you sad?"

i replied, "because i feel that no one loves me."

he hugged me even tighter and said, "but i love you what! i really love you lah Mama!" he stroked my hair and kissed my cheeks. i cried.

i'm sure at some point in our lives, we question about our presence. do people really care about us? would people cry and mourn our deaths? why does our lives have to be somehow a little incomplete? why is enough never enough? why?

i don't know if i should be envious of people with perfect lives. those with loving parents who adore them. those with siblings who always have their backs. those with partners who romance and love them whole-heartedly. those with everything else that i don't have. should i?

but then, after all that crying and questioning, i tell myself.. this is MY life. this is how it was written. i can choose to cry all i want, and i still cant bring my parents back to life. i can never have a "perfect" life like some others. but, it's alright. because now i have the power and ability to create my own future. i shall not let my past and background deter me from having my own perfect little family. today, i have Haris. so, let's start again from here.

Haris, you will always be my number ONE baby. i love you sayang.

about 2 months!

2010-11-01T12:51:00.012+08:00

today marks EXACTLY 2 months to my wedding.

time moves soooo fast that i wish i can stop it for a while, take a breather and continue. i've got 170314503928 things to settle and i'm a little stressed up. it's supposed to be a natural thing for brides-to-be, right? but i'll be fine. insya'Allah.

with that said, things are going as planned. alhamdulillah. i'm thrilled and elated to be working with so many amazing people. my aunties have been so supportive in the preparations. something which i am truly thankful for.

ibu - thank you for not being grumpy and helping me out with so many things.
mami siti - thank you for being an amazing assistance/advisor to my ibu!
cik - thank you helping me out with the kids goodie bags! i know you'll do an excellent job.
makleen - thank you for your kind advice on matters. i look forward to your awesome kuih-muih to be served at my wedding!

for now, i need to settle with the caterer, confirm decor, send out the invitation cards, wedding cakes, bridal henna, update on floral bouquet, liaise with service providers on administrative issues and.... most importantly LOSE WEIGHT! it's true when they say that people put on weight when they're happy. hmmm. and yes i did put on weight, but i'll work harder at the gym these next 2 months and be a hot bride, ok. LOL. jokes and personal agendas aside, despite the stress i am looking forward to a new beginning on 1.1.11.

so, yeah.

2 more months and i'm officially taken. for life. =)

"susah senang kita bersama, kan Encik Hisham?"

about ladies i adore

2010-10-19T10:26:00.005+08:00

friends come and go. but real friends stay with you till you grow old.

these are the crescentians that i truly adore.

with over 10 years of friendship, life is more colourful with friends who truly care.

we might not always be there for each other. but whenever we meet, it's as if we are 16 all over again.

some are married, pregnant, with a kid, engaged and taken. it's just a natural progression in life.

despite growing older each year, i love all of you just the same if not more.

thank you ladies for being my friend.

i am blessed. alhamdulillah.

about 2m2w1d

2010-10-17T08:26:00.006+08:00

hisham said this to me.. "syaitan suka sangat melambatkan pasangan daripada berumahtangga.. pasal dia boleh collect points dan kita dapat points dosa.. sebab tu lah, apabila lebih dekat tarikh untuk kita kahwin, macam-macam hal yg timbul.. gaduh lah.. ada yang tak kena lah, itu lah.. ini lah.. pasal kalau kita dah kahwin, nanti syaitan boring pasal semua kita buat dapat pahala.."

yes. that's why i love him. he tries to rationalise things. why all of these challenges are happening to us. the closer the date, the crazier it gets. but, alhamdulillah, with a support system that i can rely on, this challenging ride seems bearable.

i had my pre-wedding video shoot last friday at an amazing place in singapore.. thank you sooo much to Tini & Nini for the once in a lifetime experience. =)

i'm very much excited with what lies ahead. this is all worth it.

thank you Abg Hadi from Versari Ade for the black songket outfits! we look forward to the next fitting!

thank you Shah & Hakim from OneMotion Studios for the fun shooting experience. you guys were awesome to work with and i look forward to seeing the finished product!

thank you Ridz from A Picturebook Wedding for rushing back and forth KL-Singapore, just to shoot our pictures. you're gerek as usual and i look forward to seeing my Gurindam Jiwa inspired pictures. =)

thank you Hisham for putting up with me and being my macho man. i love you.

to all of my service providers, thank you for your sincerity towards making my big day possible. Hisham and i truly appreciate it. i really look forward to working with all of you!!

i've got 2 months, 2 weeks and 1 day more before THE day! *smiles*

about being in the storm, still.

2010-10-09T15:53:00.003+08:00

"bila hati dalam kesedihan bila diri rasa kesunyian
mengapa itu harus kau kesalkan, jangan pula kau tangiskan
tiada insan yang tetap sempurna, tiada pula yang terus derita
hidup ibarat berputarnya roda, ambil itu untuk renungan

hidup ini suatu perjuangan, perlukan pengorbanan
jangan kesal bila kau kecundang, anggap itu bukan penghalang
bila jaya usah engkau lupa, bila gagal usah kau kecewa
berjaya bukan tanda bahagia gagal tidak erti derita.."

those are the exact words of Senandung Hidup by J Mizan.. a song which i adore listening to when things are bad. it's through these difficult moments that we truly find ourselves. it's through these challenging times that we find the reasons why we are here. it's through these trying moments that we figure out our true purpose.

my brother has been in hospital for almost 2 weeks. it has been rather emotionally and physically challenging period for my family and i. it breaks my heart to see someone so abled once, just lying there, unconscious with needles and tubes poked all over. he has pneumonia and a ruptured aorta. after more than 14 days and one heart surgery later, he is doing rather well and on the road to recovery. alhamdullilah. thank you to those who came down to visit him and also to my kind followers and supporters for your silent prayers and well wishes. from the bottom of my heart, i sincerely appreciate it..

that aside, i'm also facing so many personal battles, financially, emotionally, physically... sometimes in my prayers, i do ask God yet again, why me? but deep in my heart i know that He has very good reasons why all of this is happening at one time... i almost gave up. but i choose not to. because i was never meant to just leave it and give up. i know this is a battle that i must fight. God chose me to face all these and i must.

as i sat down alone in town, just watching people pass by and busy with their lives, i realise how thankful i am to be where i am. i cannot be like them because i am me. yes, we wish that we have this, we have that, we are this, we are that, but did we ever take the time to pat ourselves at the back and say thank you for being you. we cannot change who we are, what kind of families we are born into, but we can change our lives and attitudes. our response to a situation is what differentiates a winner and someone mediocre. successful people do not give up that easily and swallow in self-pity, but rather they reflect on themselves and what went wrong and move on with a better strategy and attitude towards things.

I CANNOT GIVE UP. on YOU or MYSELF.

we need to do this right. for ourselves. because God wants the best for us.

so, this is my battle. fighting through obstacles that never seem to end. for still being in the storm and not seeing the sunshine yet. where is the so called rainbow that was promised? i ask. nowhere to be seen yet. but in my heart, i know it's waiting for me. it's there. but i just don't know when... tapi dalam kegelapan, saya masih mampu melihat sinaran yang tersembunyi di celah-celah kebahagiaan. insya'allah. my time will come.

for now, your kind prayers are all i seek. =)

about positive questioning

2010-09-15T10:41:00.004+08:00

it's the 6th day of Syawal already. time passes by so quickly nowadays, it's scary. anyway, selamat hari raya.. maaf zahir dan batin to all of my dearest blog readers and followers. i hope that Syawal was well spent with people you love. and hey, it's time for a new beginning. so let's put the past aside and look forward to a brighter and better future ahead. insya'allah.

anyway, this year during visiting, things are rather different, or questions rather. when i was much younger, it used to be, "bila nak kahwin?" or.. "badan dah naik eh?". but now it's.. "kalau kahwin jangan lupa jemput eh..".. "wah.. lawa sekarang.. apa you buat eh?". hmmmm... often, i'd smile and say, Insya'Allah and "macam biasa-biasa aje la..".

i'm thankful that people take notice of me and about the happenings revolving around me. at times, i still forget that people know me. i had a conversation with my tv news colleague, Riz, about this. that as a public figure, all of our actions are magnified and amplified. therefore, we always need to be careful of what we do, what we say and how we behave outside. unfortunately, it comes with the job. however, it really depends on that individual as i do know of some media friends who couldn't care less about what people say. so, at the end of the day, kalau pandai buat, pandai-pandailah tanggung ye. ;)

the point is, people are always watching, whether you are a celebrity or not. let me share with you something that i read.

"Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.

Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny."

what we say and think will eventually lead to what we are and how we behave. i say, drop negative thoughts. no one can force you to think anything you do not want to. you have the power to select the thoughts that you want to hold on to. make way for positive thinking.

besides that, try to associate with positive vibrant people. surround yourself with people who will make you happy. remember all of the things you have to be happy for. are you healthy? do you have a good and secure job? do you have friends? can you see? do you have someone you truly love and loves you back? think about things that will make you feel thankful. ask these questions once in a while so that it gives you a reality check for a list of things that you should be thankful for.

this entry was inspired after i went blog surfing and read about so much unhappiness. people grumbling about their lives, their work, their family members, their partners, the way they look and such. it saddens me to know that negativity takes precedence in cyber spaces which should be filled with more love and wonderful thoughts. i do hope that we will take the time to reflect on ourselves and continue to count our blessings.

hidup ini hanya sementara dan pinjaman semata, oleh itu, sentiasa berfikir dan berlaku baik agar sentiasa dipertemukan dengan perkara yang indah dan baik yang datang dari-Nya. =)

with that said, have a good and blessed syawal everyone! =)

about the singapore spirit

2010-08-30T11:17:00.006+08:00

each year, i look forward to the National Day Rally. the speech from our PM is a forecast to the near future. what can we expect as Singaporeans. our PM touched on a few key areas which excited me. especially the education bit.

i'm all for the non-academics! i'm not the smartest in school, but i knew i was good with my communication skills. and i know of so many people who are talented but not quite academically inclined and therefore i'm very much looking forward to the new changes in our education system.

also, our PM touched on the singapore spirit. what does it mean to you?

i'm very much a patriot. i love singapore. in more ways than one. for such a small island to prosper so much in a short period of time is indeed an achievement.

my late grandmother came all the way from Sri Lanka. she's one of those Sri Lankan Malays. i once joked with her that i'm thankful for the fact that my late sailor grandfather and her took a long ship to Singapore over 50 years ago. because of that, here i am. =)

singapore has evolved to a global country from it's humble beginnings made up of migrants from all over the world. people came from all over to seek new beginnings with hopes and dreams to live. we've integrated, adapted and lived as Singaporeans.

singapore is safe. clean. beautiful. green. stable and everything else that a country can ever wish for.

we complain about the influx of foreigners taking over our jobs. we complain about the education system being too academically inclined. we complain about not getting that dream job. we complain about our salaries. we complain about being guarded by too many rules and regulations. we complain about soooo many things that we forgot how lucky we are to be born and raised as a Singaporean.

just imagine if you're a citizen of a third world country. would you ever survive in such harsh conditions? what if i was an illiterate 26 year old indian girl, selling flower garlands for a living and only eating plain rice everyday. would i ever survive? the answer is no. because i'm used to living a good life here.

resilience and determination is what differs us from another singaporean. you can choose to conform and live your life as normal as you can. or you can choose to push the extra mile and stand out. make a difference, if not to others, at least to yourself. that is what being singaporean is all about. there's no space for self-centredness in our community. no one ever stops you from dreaming. you are only bounded by your own ideas, thoughts and opinions. live your dreams.

i say, do not find excuses to not succeed, but find reasons to be successful.

said Mr Lee about the Singapore Spirit, "It is the spirit in each of us which makes Singapore work the way it does, and which makes Singaporeans special."

semangat macam ni mana boleh dapat di negera lain, kan?

with that said, this is home and i'm proud to be a Singaporean. are you? ;)

about Him in every moment

2010-08-25T10:54:00.008+08:00

Salam Ramadan my dearest readers. as usual for me, this month is usually filled with work. busy busy busy. so many last minute things to attend to. but surprisingly, i'm one who enjoys the pressure and would therefore perform as expected. i'm thankful for whatever i have right now. so, alhamdulillah.

ramadan for me is also a time of self-reflection and self-cleansing. a time for me to be even closer to Allah and to remember my beloved family members who are now with Him. my birth mother, father and most importantly my late grandmother who is like a mother to me. i cry each time i think about her. it's been 2 years since her passing and i still miss her alot. however, losing people i love has also taught me to appreciate the living. how often do we take a moment and tell people we care and love that we appreciate them? it doesnt matter if we get mistreated by these people or misunderstood by them. but what is more important is that we should be thankful for their presence in our lives and continue doing good to them. love them while you can. seriously.

these past few months have been more than challenging. not many would know what i'm going through right now and i shall leave it that way. i dont see the point of sharing your problems with the world because people with just look and walk away, rather than to offer a helping hand or a solution. we are just made such. us humans. too absorbed in our own trivialities that we forget to look at the bigger picture. we question, why this? why that? why not me? why me?

look, put it this way. everything that is happening to you is part of Allah's bigger plan for something better. these people who are so called making your life "difficult" are just puppets of Allah. He moves them around you so that he can see and judge how you react to the situation. you can choose to point fingers and blame them for your misery or you can wipe those tears and react humanly and objectively to the situation. i think about this each time i'm facing a difficult situation. how best to i react to problems? at the end of the day, you report to the Al-Mighty and not the superior humans. so, be kind, always.

at this point, i'm in search for a bigger meaning. to make more sense of what i'm doing. to understand Allah's plan and why things have to be this way. when is doubt, seek Allah.

i'm not preaching here. merely sharing my thoughts and feelings about Allah. i'm just as liberal and perhaps lost as you are. but at the end of the day, let's do our best as Muslims and fulfill our dutiful obligations as His humble servants.

may this Ramadan bring you peace and serenity for your mind,body and soul. insya'Allah. =)

i'll leave you with this. watch and think.

about my blessing

2010-08-10T10:55:00.012+08:00

let me tell you about my little boy. Haris.

he has been more than amazing. i took care of him since he was 3 months old and time has passed by so quickly even without me realising. Haris is a joy. he makes me smile. he calls me a princess. he is obedient and easy to deal with. he is too matured for his age. sometimes i forget that he is only 6 years old.

2011 will be a brand new beginning for Haris and I. he will begin his journey of compulsory education and he is indeed looking forward to primary one.. as for myself, i will be married to a wonderful man. that's a new relationship status altogether. wow.

today, i am still doing my best to count my blessings. to look beyond what's lacking in my life and to appreciate all of the things that Allah has given me. i grew up and i no longer waste as much energy asking "Why God?.. Why ME?".

life is about experiences, opportunities and taking chances. if things don't go your way, then perhaps it is just not meant to be yours.

Haris was just meant for me. the moment i set my eyes on him at the nursery, i knew he was different.

he is my little joker.

he is full of surprises.

he is always full of smiles.

he always stood out among his peers.

he is adventurous.

he is a confident boy.

he is such a sweetheart.

Haris is my blessing. he gives me a reason to keep doing better in life.

dearest Haris, one day when you're all grown up, you will understand why everything has to be this way. despite not being the one to have given you life and brought you into this world, i am still your mother. the one who took care of you. and i will do all i can to be the BEST mother that you will ever have. i promise that one day, our family will be complete. insya'allah. Mama & Uncle Hisham loves you.. more than you will ever know. let's look forward to a new beginning in 2011...

Allah is kind. he gave me YOU. alhamdulillah. =)

about 5 more months to THE day

2010-07-26T15:35:00.011+08:00

where have i been? all over actually. it has been a busy past few weeks. a full work day that spans till night at times. however, i am happy and blessed to be given all these opportunities that come my way. Allah is indeed great. alhamdulillah.

5 more months to my big day and being an orphan doesn't quite help as i have to settle almost everything MYSELF. i wonder how some people do it. there's so many things to consider and think about. from essential matters like food caterer to decor and bridal service.. to little things like "bunga paha", "sireh dara" and the works. it has been a challenging journey so far, but alhamdulillah, Allah has been kind to me so far. He has bestowed my with amazing people around who are willing to lend a helping hand. you know who you are and i pray that Allah will repay your kindness accordingly and open more doors of wealth and opportunities for you.

i've learnt so many lessons in this episode, leading up to my big day. there are those who have taken advantage of my situation. people who are two-faced and not as kind as they portray themselves to be. i've been hurt a couple of times and have learnt to be more careful with my actions and decisions. i am not an angel, but i trust too easily at times. call me naive, but that's just how i am. my late grandmother once said that we should always be kind to everyone, including those who treat you otherwise. and i hold that stand so firmly till today. generally, i'm nice and i don't bite.. unless necessary.

i'm just like you in many ways. i'm no superstar. i happen to work in the media and love what i do for a living. because of my job, people recognise me and i'm truly appreciative of that. there are individuals and companies who came up to me and offer to sponsor their services for my big day. i am blessed for such opportunities. for me, it is indeed rezeki from Allah. however, let me make this clear that i am NOT hard up for such sponsorships and i'd rather work hard, save up and pay for their services. again, i am not a superstar. but i am more than willing to help these companies and individuals, promote their services to public at the best capacity that i can. most young ladies who are getting married have parents to pay for their wedding, but i have to struggle and do it all alone... and i'm totally alright with it because i do not wish to question my fate anymore. this is Allah's plan for me and i must execute it the best way that i can.

this wonderful journey will still go on. i look forward to spending the rest of my life with such an amazing partner.. Mohamed Hisham.. and i continue looking forward to a great future filled with love and possibilities. my aunt, Hisham and Haris are of outmost priority for now. they are family. they are the ones that matters most.

kita tidak mampu membahagiakan semua orang, tetapi yang paling utama sekali, kita harus membahagiakan diri kita dahulu. pasti ada orang yang menantikan saat kita jatuh dan ada juga orang yang suka tengok orang lain tersungkur dan jatuh. mereka akan ketawa kesukaan, tetapi yang penting ialah untuk kita bangkit dan jalan terus kerana perkara yang lebih baik menanti mereka yang tidak putus berusaha. sebagai manusia, kita harus sentiasa berusaha untuk melakukan kebaikan dan jauhkan dari melakukan sebarang kejahatan. tetapi saya tahu, kita bukan malaikat dan kita tidak lari dari melakukan perkara yang salah atau dilarang. jika pernah satu ketika, saya menyakiti anda melalui kata-kata atau tingkah laku.. saya minta maaf. tiada terlintas langsung di hati ini untuk memperkecilkan atau menyalahi sesiapa kerana yang kurang baik datang dari saya.. dan segala yang baik itu adalah dari Allah. walau apapun, marilah kita sama-sama sentiasa berbaik sangka, berbaik budi dan berbaik laku.

"kasihanilah siapa sahaja yang ada di atas bumi ini, nescaya kamu akan dikasihani oleh yang ada di atas langit."
hadith riwayat at-Tirmidzi.

with that said, hisham and i would like to express my deepest thank you to those who have come onboard to assist me on making my wedding a memorable experience. thank you for wanting to be part of my history. you know who you are and may Allah bless your goodwill and kind souls.

tiada apa yang saya mahu dari para pembaca blog saya ini, kecuali doa anda semoga Allah permudahkan perjalanan saya ini dalam mendirikan rumahtangga yang penuh sakinah dan mawaddah. terima kasih sekali lagi...
~ ikhlas dari Nona dan Hisham. =)

tentang saya dan yang serupa

2010-07-08T10:49:00.002+08:00

kaum hawa sering dikaitkan dengan emosi. kadangkala kita terlalu mengikut perasaan dalam membuat suatu keputusan atau dalam reaksi kita terhadap sesuatu keadaan. apabila perasaan kurang stabil dan emosi masih lagi bergelojak, agak susah untuk membuat keputusan secara objektif. walaubagaimanapun, saya pasti sebagai wanita yang progresif dan inginkan peningkatan serta kemajuan diri, kita akan sentiasa memperbaiki kelemahan kita ini.

begitu juga dengan saya yang boleh disifatkan sebagai sensitif dan pantang ditegur. ini adalah kelemahan yang saya akui dan ingin sekali hakis agar dapat menjadi seorang wanita yang boleh menjadi contoh pada yang lain. kini, saya cuba untuk menerima teguran secara positif dan akan menilai segala apa yang diperkatakan oleh individu yang sudi menegur kekurangan saya ini.

saya hanya insan biasa. tiada yang luarbiasa, kecuali semangat saya untuk memperbaiki kehidupan ini dan keluar dari lingkaran yang sedia ada. =)

dan dalam usaha saya untuk meningkatkan keyakinan imej diri saya, ingin saya ajak sri kandi lain di luar sana untuk turut serta dalam usaha ini. memang saya sudah pendam lama, niat untuk menubuh sejenis kumpulan sokongan atau "support group" untuk wanita.. ala ala JOY LUCK CLUB. tetapi khusus untuk wanita yang ada masalah dengan isu-isu seperti yakin diri, pembangunan diri dan isu-isu motivasi. kerana saya yakin bahawa wanita yang berjaya adalah wanita yang mempunyai sifat percaya diri yang tinggi.

mungkin untuk waktu ini, anda boleh kirim emel kepada askdreamacademy@gmail.com dan nyatakan keinginan anda untuk turut serta dalam kumpulan sokongan wanita ini. dan jika ada respon yang memberangsangkan, mungkin kita boleh bertemu dalam satu acara "potluck" yang tidak rasmi. bagaimana? adakah anda berminat? ;)

sebagai wanita, kita mempunyai pelbagai kebolehan dan kemampuan yang sememangnya sedia ada dalam diri kita. tetapi bagaimana kita menggunakannya adalah sesuatu yang membezakan wanita yang berjaya dan yang biasa...

ingat, tangan yang menghayun buaian itu mampu menggoncang dunia. itulah, WANITA. =)

tentang ayah sayang kamu

2010-06-30T11:08:00.008+08:00

sempena bulan bahasa 2010 yang berlangsung sekarang sehingga penghujung bulan julai ini, saya akan cuba untuk menggunakan bahasa melayu ketika menulis di blog saya ini dan juga di platform media baru saya yang lain. ;)

hmmmm... alhamdulillah, acara Seminar PSLE dan WARNA FASHIONISTA telah berjalan dengan lancar dan jayanya minggu lepas. saya sungguh berterima kasih kerana telah diberi kepercayaan menjadi penerbit pembantu bagi Seminar PSLE. banyak yang telah saya pelajari dari seminar itu. diantaranya ialah untuk kekal bersemangat dalam mengejar impian dan matlamat serta tidak menggunakan alasan apabila menerima kegagalan.

harus saya katakan bahawa saya amat kagum dengan salah seorang pelatih dari AKLTG iaitu Ramesh. beliau begitu ghairah dan bertenaga sepanjang masa dan telah berjaya membangkitkan semangat dikalangan para pelajar.

ketika sesi untuk ibu bapa, beliau berkongsi tentang kisah seorang anak yang ingin berlari bersama ayahnya... kata si ayah, "walaupun ayah sudah berusia 60 tahun dan kurang berdaya, tetapi kerana ayah sayangkan kamu, ayah akan lakukannya."

kemudian anaknya ingin berenang pula.. kata si ayah.. "walaupun ayah sudah berusia 60tahun dan tidak kuat seperti dulu, ayah akan tetap lakukannya bersama kamu kerana ayah sayang kamu."

seterusnya anaknya ingin berbasikal pula... kata si ayah.. "walaupun ayah sudah berusia 60 tahun dan tidak mempunyai banyak tenaga, tetapi kerana ayah sayangkan kamu, ayah akan tetap melakukannya."

anaknya juga ingin menyertai maraton.. kata si ayah.. "walaupun ayah sudah berusia 60 tahun, tetapi kerana ayah sayangkan kamu, baiklah kita lakukannya bersama."

dari maraton, anaknya impikan untuk menyertai triathlon dan pertandingan ironman.. kata si ayah, "walaupun ayah sudah berusia 60 tahun tetapi akan ayah lakukan kerana AYAH SAYANG KAMU."

inilah kisah sebenar seorang ayah yang sayangkan anaknya walau dalam keadaan anaknya yang serba kekurangan... senikata dalam video berikut ini cukup menyentuh perasaan. dengar dengan teliti dan anda nilai sendiri..

walaupun kadangkala kita marah dengan sikap ibubapa kita yang mungkin tidak memahami akan perasaan kita, tapi apa yang jelas ialah niat mereka untuk melakukan sesuatu demi kebahagiaan anak-anak.

adakah ibu kamu memarahi dirimu ketika lahir? betapa susah ibu mengandungkan kita selama 9 bulan, dengan penuh kasih sayang. apabila kita lahir, ibu kita akan mendakap dan mencium kita dengan rasa cinta, walaupun beberapa saat lalu, beliau dalam keperitan, bertarung nyawa untuk melahirkan kita.

dalam kehidupan saya yang singkat ini, saya tidak diberi peluang untuk merasakan kasih sayang dari ibu bapa. kadangkala saya bertanyakan kenapa nasib sebegini, tetapi saya faham dan redha akan takdir Tuhan. inilah yang terbaik untuk diri saya. dan kini, kedua orang tua saya telah tiada lagi dan apa yang mampu saya lakukan ialah untuk mendoakan mereka agar tenang disisi yang Maha Esa.

kita tidak tahu bila ibu bapa kita akan pergi dan meninggalkan kita untuk selamanya, oleh itu hargai setiap detik yang dapat kita luangkan bersama mereka. dalam suka dan duka kerana mereka sanggup mengorbankan nyawa agar kita dapat terus hidup di dunia ini. tanpa ibu bapa saya, mungkin saya tidak akan berada disini untuk berkongsi pendapat dan pengetahuan yang seadanya. mungkin mereka mempunyai sebab tersendiri mereka saya harus dibesarkan oleh ibu saudara. tetapi saya tahu, mereka sayangkan saya. jika banyak sangat yang dipersoalkan tentang hidup ini, lebih banyak lagi misteri yang akan timbul. biarlah sesetengah perkara itu menjadi misteri kehidupan yang sememangnya tidak boleh dileraikan. hidup ini indah kerana kehidupan ini adalah yang nyata... itu sahaja yang dapat saya kongsi sama untuk ketika ini. hingga di lain kesempatan, selamat menjalankan segala tugasan anda! =)

about making choices

2010-06-25T12:36:00.009+08:00

have you ever had that experience where suddenly both good and bad things cross your path all at once? you get confused? feel lost? and don't quite know what to do? which one to choose? which path to follow? your thoughts are everywhere?

i'm facing it now and i'm slowly dealing with it. adam khoo said, "CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES." so, whichever choice that we pick comes along with a consequence. a result of that choice that could lead to a positive or negative outcome. the outcome might be different but the common denominator is YOU sticking to your choice and believing in it. sometimes we fail due to the choice we've made, but that should not stop you from trying a different strategy nor dampen your spirit in achieving the desired results. past doesn't equal to the future, right?

i've always been the kind to follow my gut feeling, that so called instinct. do what YOU think is right. yes, i've failed a couple of times, but i've also learnt valuable lessons along the way. decisions have short and long term implications. think through it and pick the one that you feel strongly for.

each and every event in our lives is neutral, in and of itself. it is how we respond to the event that creates our experience of it. if you feel that you do not have a choice in a situation, then take a closer look.you may be faced with alternatives that are difficult to accept, or maybe you have just overlooked some possibilities. reconsider your options and/or brainstorm some new solutions. during the next situation that presents itself, don't just "react." stop and think about how you would like things to turn out, and then "respond" in a way that will help you achieve the desired outcome.

i'm still learning how to handle complicated, delicate and stressful situation. i'm not perfect and would indeed want to better myself and manage my emotions. a colleague spoke to me yesterday about how we are all God's puppet. all these people around us that are so called making our lives difficult, is just a test of how we react to the situation. at the end of the day, it boils down to your intentions on why you are here and how would you answer to God when the time comes. forgive and forget. nowadays, i move on much faster than before. it takes too much effort to keep it all in. i'm doing all these for people who matter to me.

jadi biarlah orang nak terus bercakap dan bergosip atau membuat andaian mereka yang tidak berasaskan fakta dan penilaian yang tepat. niat saya ikhlas dan matlamat saya hanya untuk membahagiakan orang yang berada di sekeliling saya. walau apapun, saya tidak sesekali ingin menyerah kalah, tetapi saya bersedia untuk beri sedikit ruang dan mengalah. so, bring it on! ;)

about more than 9494

2010-06-22T10:45:00.006+08:00

i was blog surfing when i came across a video that made me shed a tear. it's called 99 balloons. here. watch it first.

eliot lived for 99 days. how many have you had to live so far? probably many times more than him. this life is given to us only once. so how best can we live it?

i turned 26 on 18 June. when i was younger, it has always been about wanting nice gifts for my birthday. something to symbolise that one special day where i turned a year older. but as i mature with time, gifts are no more of an importance. i see the world differently now. it's about dreams, hopes and aspirations. it's about family, love and contentment. i pray that God will shower me with his kind blessings, a life filled with love and happiness, the strength to fulfill my obligations as a muslim, the courage to better overcome obstacles in my life and finally, to give me guidance and live this life the best way that i ever can.

imagine, if you had only 99 days to live on this earth, what would you do?

life is more than about owning and LV or Chanel bag.

life is more than about eating at a fancy restaurant.

life is more than about driving a Mercedes.

life is more than about wearing Zara or mango to work.

life is more than about a one carat diamond ring.

life is more than about living in a condominium.

life is more than about having a walk-in wardrobe.

life is more than about partying with friends.

happiness is temporary. but how you cherish those moments is what that matters.

i ask myself sometimes, does owning/having all these things, justify and create happiness. yes and no. you work hard, starve yourself and save all that money so that you can reward yourself with an LV bag, just so you can flaunt it to your friends, is that happiness to you? because it's YOUR hard earned money, right? there is no right and wrong answer to that question. at the end of the day, it's the purpose that matters. at the end of the day, people still judge. with or without the LV bag. so. be. it.

i couldn't care less anymore. i've got more things to worry about and take care off rather than to save up for an expensive bag. yes, i'm thrifty now. because there are issues more paramount as compared to feeding your material self. again, do what makes you happy. we humans get miserable when we see others much luckier than us. why so? instead, we should be glad for them because God gave them what they deserve. perhaps we should work harder so that we are able to attain our wants, someday.

today, i live life as it is. God has a bigger plan for all of us and things indeed happen for a reason. i'm thankful that he gave me good health so far, and therefore i am able to work and feed my family. i'm thankful that i have people who truly love and care for me. i'm thankful for being where i am today.

eliot had 99 days. i've had more than 9494 days and many more to come. God gives and God takes. so, i shall continue striving for the best and treasure each passing day by saying... ALHAMDULILLAH. =)

about that work exchange trip

2010-06-12T14:42:00.010+08:00

as promised, here are some pictures taken during my trip to brunei.
i dont have a digital camera, so pardon the quality cos it was taken via my iphone. ;)

we stayed at RIZQUN BRUNEI. this is the main hotel lobby. grand ey?

this is the lobby for those in the premier suite. super posh, i tell you!

posing on a fancy chair. i seriously felt like royalty. lol.

a random and meaningless shot of me from the toilet.

the super duper comfortable beds!! the mattress and pillow is out of this world. felt like i was floating on clouds.
it was THAT good.

the ladies! my boss, Isadhora Mohamed, Zaza Majid and Fiza O.

that's Dyn Norahim trying to act funny. lol. anyway, we tried AMBUYAT!! the local delicacy.

the Mediacorp Radio delegates!

with RTB's CEO, Awang Haji Idris. it was an honour to meet him. and guess what, i was tasked to do a duet with him!!
here's the video. i'm no professional singer, but i tried. hur hur hur.

here's another song that the Mediacorp and RTB DJs did together. enjoy!

this was where we had our pantun recording. simple but nice. =)

with Fazilla, a DJ with Harmoni FM. one of the sweetest person i've ever met.
she's a mother of 4 kids and she's tinier than me. oh, the pressure!

while waiting to resume after the tea break.

another random picture taken during lunch..

they have sooooo many beautiful mosques. this is one of them. the dome is made of GOLD!!!

we took a speedboat ride around their KAMPONG AIR.
that place is self sufficient. school, police post, firestation, mosque, the works!

the little boy i fell in love with, Abdul Aziz. he's the son of one of the RTB presenter, Adi Zulhazmi. he sent us off at the airport.

finally, here's a video of our trip that was covered on the Brunei Primetime News. =)

so there you have it. my brief experience in Brunei.

short and sweet. simple yet memorable.

have a good weekend everyone!!! =D

about a quick one in brunei

2010-06-06T17:21:00.006+08:00

Brunei was interesting. 4 days and 3 nights in a foreign land. it's my first work exchange trip with WARNA and our friends from Radio Television Brunei (RTB). i got to see how our friends over there, especially the radio presenters work. it was an eye-opener.

oh yes, i was interviewed by a local TV station and was on their primetime news! managed to record a video of it in my phone. will figure out how to upload it here.

i've learnt sooo many things about Brunei that i never knew before. like how only 30% of it's land is allowed to be developed... and also i fell in love.. with...

BELACAN BRUNEI!!!! sedap giler!! seriously! LOL.

ok. a more detailed blog entry will be up once i've uploaded the pics on my pc ya.

meanwhile, here's the team that went for the trip. =)

thank you WARNA for giving me this opportunity. it was indeed an enriching and memorable experience.

i told you, i LOVE my job. *winks*

about f-ing people and yourself

2010-05-20T10:24:00.006+08:00

setiap manusia mempunyai bahagian masing-masing. ini adalah ketentuan yang datang dari-Nya. oleh itu, kita dinasihati untuk sentiasa berusaha dengan gigih, berdoa dan tawakal.

i've always believed that things happen for a reason. God has His reasons for allowing certain events to happen in our lives. He gives you what you truly deserve. so, when in trouble, reflect on what it is that we might have done wrong to be facing these difficulties. think about how we can make things better and improve ourselves.

i used to have this mentality that i forgive but never forget. but as i grow older, somehow this has faded and often erase bitter memories much easier than before. now i forgive and forget. it keeps me sane.

in simple steps, this is how it's done.

nona's 5 WAYS to FORGIVE & FORGET:

- we ALL make mistakes in our lives. admit it and search for meaningful lessons in those mistakes. once that's done, move on. it's much easier to let go of the pain, erase it off our minds, than to store it in our memories and aggravate the situation. sudah tu sudah la..

- apologize immediately if you know that you've hurt someone. saying sorry helps us in healing. do not let ego get in the way and hold you back from apologising.

- understand and know that everyone is capable of love, even though their actions sometimes say otherwise. always think good and positive of others, no matter what. we are all born good and pure at one point in time.

- know that forgiving a person brings peace of mind for oneself. holding back a grudge or being very vengeful makes us an even miserable person. so, why waste that energy?

- if a person causes you emotional pain, tell them. keeping it all in will eat you up inside. not happy? say la. i am unhappy because.... it's just the way we say it can differ from one person to the other. so, find a way that you're comfortable with and say it out.

i forgive much easier nowadays. i say sorry when i know it's my fault. and i move on quickly after an argument or dispute with people around me. why hate when you can love? why cry when you can laugh the pain away? a heart filled with anger has no room for love. and good things come to those with a heart full of love and joy.

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." ~Mark Twain

have a good thursday everyone! =)

about bouncing back

2010-05-09T11:39:00.004+08:00

i'm back! =)

you know how sometimes you just need a break from everything and rediscover yourself? i did just that. as i've said before, life is too complicated and intricate to decipher or perhaps even to understand. we go through motion while hoping to find meaningful reasons behind our actions and experiences. i used to questions soooo many things about life. why this? why that? why me?

but the more you ask, the more questions and uncertainties tend to surface. so, instead of asking, why don't we all just make the best out of each situation. be thankful for what we have. be happy for others who are truly deserving of what they have in life. work on your weaknesses and make full use of your strengths.

i've alaways believed that happier people tend to live a more fruitful life. positive thoughts and actions will lead to positive and happier outcomes. yes, we may not have EVERYTHING that we want in life, it's just not possible. but we can work hard and find ways to make ourselves happy.

i can find a thousand things about my life that i dislike. but i choose not to because it will indeed make me very miserable. i'd rather find a thousand things to be happy about my life and smile at it. at least i'm still here. alive and breathing. capable of controlling my actions and making sure that every act and word that is said is able to be of benefit to others and myself.

someone once said to me.. "we either grow or die." the only way to be is better each day. and i'm telling myself that everyday. life is too short to be holding grudges and taking revenge on people who once did us wrong. life is too beautiful to be upset all the time. i know it's hard to forget sometimes. so, forgive and move on.

it's still an uphill challenge for me each day. to be doing this the best way i can. i might not be an open book like some others in the cyberworld. i don't have a perfect family. i don't have perfect sblings. i don't live in a perfect house. i don't have a perfect face or body. i don't have a perfect life. but the best is, that makes me.. ME.

God has a reason for giving me all these. if things were perfect, then i'd be a totally different person. and i'm thankful for it. Alhamdulillah. if faced with a challenge or fear, do not ask God to remove it or lighten it.. but as God for more strength so that you can get over it. God is indeed great.

so i've bounced back up from the deep abyss of self-pity and negativity. and i'll still be here to share my thoughts with my dear readers who are kind enough to spend their time and read what's here. =)

kehidupan ini lebih dari setakat kebahagiaan materi yang dapat dilihat dari mata kasar, tetapi ertinya lebih mendalam. kebahagiaan sebenar ialah kebolehan untuk membahagiakan diri kita dahulu sebelum mampu melimpahkannya kepada orang yang kita sayangi. hidup ini indah kerana itulah makna disebalik kewujudan dan sebab ia dicipta. oleh itu, hargai segala apa yang dimiliki dan diperolehi.

with that said, A Happy Mother's Day to all those deserving to be called a Mother. may Allah bless your lives with the best things in life, always. Amin.

to Haris - thank you for being the BEST son that any mother can ever have. i fell in love with you the moment i set my eyes on you. i knew you were a different kind of baby. i might not be the one who gave birth to you but i will love you even more that any mother can ever love their child. as long as i'm alive, i will take good care of you and provide you with the best of anything that you need to grow up into a responsible human being. i love you, son. more than you will ever know or understand... Love, Mama Nona.

have an excellent Sunday everyone! =)

about reconfiguring

2010-04-06T11:52:00.003+08:00

dreams neither die nor vanish. they just change and evolve over time.

i'm not losing drive in whatever it is that i might be pursuing.

i'm just re-strategising and restructuring my thoughts and ideas.

someone can only push or motivate you so much.

but if the heart refuses to agree and see eye-to-eye, then the mind will not cooperate and proceed with the plan.

it just doesn't work that way.

sometimes i wish i'm safe and boring.

but then again, i won't be me if i were the above.

so, give me some time.

i need to reconfigure myself.

in more ways than one.

i'll be back. =)

about sharing yet again

2010-03-30T11:13:00.001+08:00

i've always believed in sharing positive values, beliefs and life experiences. therefore, the sharing session that i had in February was a good avenue to meet up with my followers and be totally upclose and personal with them. the previous session i had was very enriching because each of the participant managed to learn something about me and also about themselves.

life is about discovering new things each day. and the only way to get better is to surround yourself with people who are able to inspire you and learn positive life lessons each day.

growing up has never been easy for me. and to have come this far and still searching and craving for success takes a lot of effort and determination. i'm no where near great but i intend to be.. someday. insya'allah. and so can YOU. great in your own unique way. =)

with that said, The Dream Academy will be organising a second sharing session. for you ladies who are keen, do visit www.the-dreamacademy.blogspot.com for more details ya.

again, without your support, i won't be here.

thank YOU. =)

about looking ahead with a purpose

2010-03-29T10:26:00.009+08:00

the only way to go is UP. the only way to look is FORWARD. the only way to be is BETTER than before.

there are moments i feel like giving up and just disappearing. but reflecting on myself and my purpose in life, never fail to bring up my spirits. after a while, life becomes routine and mundane. we go to work everyday, complete the tasks at hand, go home, meet the family, spend weekends with people we love and we repeat the same routine all over again. you intersperse all that with a little bit of pain and joy along the way. that's life.

but how do you stand out and make YOUR life, the BEST life that YOU can ever have? find purpose and meaning in the little things that you do. i've always been caught up with work and big plans ahead. works keeps me busy and happy. but sometimes, i neglect the people i love. so, yesterday since i had the day off, i made it a point to spend time with my family.

woke up in the morning and brought Haris for a run at the stadium. went grocery shopping after that. had a simple lunch at home and headed to the swimming complex with the extended family. went swimming till evening and did some kite flying after that. the evening ended with a family dinner at the east. it was indeed a loooooong day, but definitely fulfilling.

today is monday and i feel better about things. i know that i will get through this week in one piece and put my heart and soul in whatever i do. one of those is to eat healthier and exercise even more. ;)

yes, i've put on a little bit of weight but i have no idea why it has become such an issue with SOME people. even my partner is not complaining about it. heh heh heh. but that doesn't mean i'm being complacent. my big day will be in 8 months and i intend to be a pretty bride. so of course i'm still working hard at achieving my ideal weight. i've done it before, so it's indeed possible to go through it again. people, watch me. heh.

i know this entry seems a little bit all over the place but my point is, find happiness in between creaks of pain. if we give our all in whatever it is that we embark on, success and positive results ensues. don't waste time and energy focusing on negativities when you can use all that power to generate positive outcomes.

creating a clear vision for your future is not as difficult as it may seem. it is as simple as finding out what you love to do the most and then create the opportunities needed to do them. we all need to answer these basic questions: what is my life's purpose? what should I do with the rest of my life?

once your purpose becomes clear you will have a guide to determine which internal and external forces you will allow to shape the future you desire. you can begin to implement a specific plan to prepare for your future dreams while maximizing the present opportunities that come your way.

my future is to be a more creative radio producer-presenter, an engaging TV news presenter, an inspiring motivator, a wife-to-be to an excellent partner, a slimmer and healthier woman who is happy and a better servant of God. these are mine, so what's yours?

look forward to a more meaningful life driven with a clearer purpose.

leave the past behind because the future is far more exciting.

happy monday dear readers! =)

about the SRA

2010-03-19T14:34:00.008+08:00

the Singapore Radio Awards 2010 was held last Wednesday at the Mediacorp Theatre. it's nice to see my colleagues from Radio all dressed up looking soooo glamourous. this time round, it really felt like a grand affair.

firstly, CONGRATULATIONS to TG for being WARNA's Most Popular Radio Personality!!! i'm really happy for him. after years of being in the industry, this award is a great recognition for his presence and contribution towards radio. =)

also.. CONGRATULATIONS to A B Shaik! my mentor on Rentak Warna for taking away the Media's Choice for Malay Radio Personality Award! you ARE popular and you definitely deserve it!!

that's about it. i shall leave you with some pictures. ;)

with Kak Mariam and Nursha Ismail, Warna's Part-time DJ and also the trophy girl for that evening. ;)

Zaza Majid, Nursha and Me.. Adi Rahman "nak jugak" enter frame at the back. heh.

TG, me, Sue Kassim, Faridah Onn, Suharti Ali and Ibrahim Jamil who received the Lifetime Achievement Award on that evening. =)

a cliched pose after the show ended. oh ya. my blue top was sponsored by Chantique Bridal Gallery. thank you Abg Zul and Kak Ros for lending it to me at the last minute. heeeee.. ;)

"cekak pinggang" pose number two.

and to my favourite man... thank you for attending the show! i truly appreciate your support.. you are my number one fan, right? *winks* lol.

so there you have it. SRA 2010. congrats to those who have won!!!

with that said, i'm really excited about my time belt change this monday! new working hours and new partner leyyyy!!! wish me luck!

tentang nak atau tak nak

2010-03-10T14:39:00.006+08:00

kali ini saya rasa saya ingin menulis apa yang terbenam dalam benak fikiran saya ni. sebenarnya saya teramat sangat sedih dengan diantara sifat yang manusia miliki. terutama sekali, sesuatu sifat yang kebanyakan orang melayu miliki... iaitu.. sifat beriya-iya atau semangat cakap tapi tak serupa buat. kita nak ini, kita nak itu, kita nak tinggal rumah besar, kita nak gaji besar, kita nak beg tangan mahal, kita nak badan slim, kita nak macam-macam lah.. tapi semua hanya cakap je. tak serupa buat.

kalau nak duit banyak, takkan dengan berdoa sahaja, duit tu akan jatuh dari langit? kalau nak badan yang slim, takkan tanpa senaman, tubuh anda akan menjadi seperti Jessica Alba? kalau nak gaji besar, takkan dengan ber-facebook dan chatting 24 jam di pejabat, boleh menghasilkan kerja yang produktif? TOLONG SIKIT. ia pasti tidak akan terjadi. jangan nak bermimpi di siang hari. ada faham?

dalam perjalanan kehidupan ini, kadang kala kita berjumpa dengan bermacam jenis orang dan menempuhi berbagai jenis pengalaman. saya fikir kehidupan ini penuh dengan misteri yang pasti tidak akan dapat dihurai dan dicerakinkan oleh manusia. tetapi apa yang pasti, setiap insan harus sentiasa berusaha untuk menjadi sebaik-baik manusia yang ada.

dalam ceramah yang disampaikan oleh Dato' Dr. Fatma El-Zahra, semasa acara POLITIK DAPUR yang diterbitkan WARNA baru-baru ini, beliau berkata bahawa sebagai seorang wanita, penting juga kita mempertingkat ILMU. dengan mendengar ceramah, menghadiri majlis ilmu, mengikuti kelas-kelas kemahiran, secara tidak langsung dapat mempertingkatkan telaga ilmu kita agar ia semakin dalam.

masalah orang kita ni ialah telaga ilmu yang cetek. kita ingat kita ni dah cukup pandai. ok. sekali lagi.. TOLONG SIKIT. kalau kita dah pandai, pasti kita dah dapat pangkat Doktor Falsafah atau yang sewaktu dengannya.

oleh itu wahai kawan-kawan, janganlah kita jadi macam mat jenin. hanya bermimpi tanpa berusaha. kalau kita inginkan sesuatu, tidak kira apa jua halangannya, pasti kita akan mencari jalan untuk menjadikannya satu realiti.

misalnya, nak pergi kelas bersenam. mudah sekali kelas itu tetapi ia memerlukan disiplin yang kuat untuk menghadirinya. kalau nak beri alasan mengapa anda tidak mahu pergi bersenam, memang pun ada berjuta. saya ni pun bukannya jambu mana. masih ada ruang lagi untuk berjuang dalam gaya hidup yang sihat. dengan itu saya sering mengingatkan diri saya untuk melakukan senaman yang kerap sehinggalah tercetus idea untuk mengadakan kelas "kickboxing" untuk kaum hawa. awak ingat, senang ke nak menganjurkan kelas? ada banyak halangan tetapi saya cekalkan hati kerana niat saya baik... iaitu untuk membantu wanita lain yang "senasib" dengan saya.

wahai teman-teman yang dihormati sekalian.. kata orang-orang tua yang lebih berpengetahuan dan berpengalaman dari saya, kalau nak seribu daya, kalau tak nak seribu dalih. betul tak?

akhir sekali...

don't just action talk only but zero action. ACT on it.

tidak kira dalam apa juga yang anda ingin capai. jangan hanya semangat suku minit dan kuburkan impian anda disebabkan kemalasan. orang yang berjaya tidak akan duduk diam sahaja. beliau akan bekerja keras untuk mencapai apa yang diidamkan.

haaaa.. lega rasanya.. ok.

kalau ada yang terasa atau tercuit atau terkena atau tersinggung... maaf ye.

ini setakat luahan hati saya.

terima kasih kerana sudi membaca.

*peace*

about motivating the unmotivated

2010-03-06T10:54:00.003+08:00

the ability to motivate yourself is very important. there are days that I feel like i don't want to get up from my bed and face the world. all i want to do is to coop myself up in my dark room and shut the misery away. have you every felt such? perhaps you might have gone through the same experience...

so, how do you know if you lose your motivation? well the first obvious sign is things that you used to get exited about are no longer exciting to you anymore. it can be your relationship, a car, a job, a pet, family or anything. you feel tired, fatigue, bored. AND you get irritated easily.

i suppose as we get older, our expectation changes. when i was younger, i used to think that buying shoes and bags could make me happy. until i realised that the money could be put to better use like paying for Haris' school fees and the house bills. and being able to settle my bills and expenses fully makes me far happier than to splurge on things i don't quite need.

suddenly you realise that you may want hang around different kind of people or friends, date a person with different personality and moral values, you want a car with leather seat instead of cloth seat and so on. you want a Chanel and no more an LV. things like that. that's one of the reasons why people keep coming and going in your life. people change. you change. I change.

losing our motivation at times is a part of life. however, what's abnormal is, when someone stays unmotivated too long and is unable to stand up too long. so many people died with unfulfilled dreams and goals, because they were unable to motivate themselves. their dreams and goals are now buried with them in their grave. i believe that should not happen to YOU and me. we are all special in our own ways. with a unique talent and gift.

so dear friends, don't let hopelessness and depression get you down.

and this is also serves as a reminder to me.

i'm actually feeling VERY down and unmotivated.

but it's ok. as always, i'll pick myself up. soon.

enjoy your weekend! =)

about the wizard and dorothy

2010-02-26T17:20:00.003+08:00

"Hearts will never be practical, until they are made unbreakable."
- The Wizard of Oz"

i'm glad you have mine and i have yours.

in my magic red shoes and your magic wand, we'll find our Emerald City.

let's make spirits and dreams unbreakable!

up! up! and away!

*smiles*

about simply sharing and learning

2010-02-25T15:56:00.009+08:00

let's see.. where do i begin? i've been up to soooo many things and i've been busy. i've always enjoyed being a workaholic. so, yeah. ;)

the sharing session turned out better than i thought. thank you to the ladies who have made time on a saturday afternoon to hear me out. it was indeed an enriching and fulfilling experience for me. to share my life experiences and to allow me to explore one of my strengths, which is the ability to inspire and motivate others. it took alot for me to make this sharing session happen. self-doubt almost killed it. but i'm glad that with the support, i've managed to make it a reality. i'm looking forward to more sessions in the future!

thank you again to the wonderful ladies who attended my maiden sharing session. i hope that you have gained something from it and will continue to work towards becoming a better person each day. like i've said, life is amazing and we live only once, so make the best out of each opportunity that comes along. thank you also to Hisham and Haz who put in lots of effort to make it work! let's do this and make THE DREAM ACADEMY a success!

here are some of the pictures that i can share.. courtesy of the participants, Fara and Salihah. ;)

well, other than that, the photoshoot i did for MANJA eventually did not make it to the March Issue. do not ask me why, as i don't even know the reason behind it. either i totally cannot make it as a model, OR, the pictures are kept for another issue.. because it seems that the March issue is really a male dominated one. but it's alright, i'm cool. so, that's that. ;)

hmmm... because i enjoy being random at times, here are some random pictures...

of me taking shots of myself before i go "live" for the news on SURIA.

of going to the botanical gardens with my cousins, niece and nephews for the FIRST TIME after more than 10 years.

of going to T3 on my day off for 3 hours, just to have dinner and take the sky train. there was this nice display and i posed with Haris. i called this display "The Tunnel of LOVE".. somehow i felt like Alice in Wonderland, for a moment. heee..

each of these experiences have taught me something. and i suppose that is how we should all progress in life. ask yourself, what lessons do you learn in life?

24 hours a day. that is all that we have. just the same amount. but how well do we make use of our time? do you even try to make the best out of each passing hour? i feel that we should use each experience as a learning opportunity. don't just go through an experience without extracting lessons out of it. use every experience as an opportunity to grow in your life. the value of an experience doesn't just come from the results you get, but also from the lessons you learn. if you treat every experience like this, you will learn a lot of useful lessons in life.

when you are able to identify and recognize the things you have done right or even wrong, this will help you grow forward and be even better in the future.

so how do i "extract" lessons from life experiences?

let me just share with you briefly...

- always be willing to try out something new and different

there's nothing to be learnt if you keep making the same mistakes over and over again. try a different strategy or perhaps do things differently the next time round. whether the result is success or failure, you will learn something from it. only you will know whether it works for you or otherwise. toddlers keep on falling before they finally figure out how it is that humans are supposed to walk. we fall but we pick ourselves up and we learn.

- reflect and ask yourself; how can I do better in the future?

one thing is for sure, that you will never learn anything new if you do not want to improve yourself. however, if you constantly try to improve yourself you will always see things here and there that you can do better in the future. you can then figure out what exactly to do to improve ourselves in those areas.

- share what you learn with others

when we share, we exchange ideas/beliefs and we learn. believe it or not, sharing what you learn with others will make you learn even more. you may get new ideas while you are talking about your experiences and the lessons you've got. your friends could also give their ideas that further enrich yours. sharing your experiences will benefit both you and people around you.

so what i've learnt from these little life lessons of mine?

sharing session - to follow my dream and take action.
taking pictures of myself - to appreciate how i look like and be thankful for it.
going to the botanical gardens - to make time for people i love and appreciate nature.
going to T3 - to enjoy spur of the moment outings that are simple yet fulfilling.

i hope what i've shared has been beneficial to those to take the time to read. so, there you have it. my random thoughts on random things. =)

about things random

2010-02-17T12:50:00.007+08:00

*warning* this shall be a quick and very random entry.

- my sharing session for LADIES only will happen this Saturday!! i'm seriously very excited yet nervous at the same time. if you are keen to join, do email askdreamacademy@gmail.com ya. for those who have received the acknowledgement email, i look forward to seeing you! =)

- i passed my DRIVING TEST on 13 Feb 2010! on Chinese New Year's Eve!!! i can legally drive now! yeayyyyyy!!! *happy dance*

- i have been down with flu and fever since last Friday. i'm still very much unwell as i'm typing this. the nose is VERY much blocked and not functioning. breathing is a challenge. the head is heavy. i feel my face vibrating with the sinus. not good. not good. *shakes head*

- voting for the Singapore Radio Awards 2010 for the Most Popular Radio Personality category will end on 21 Feb! so have you voted for me? hur hur hur... so shameless, i know. but one has to campaign so as to win the election, like how Obama did. right? so, anyway, my code is 75.. if you would like to vote for... ME.. *blush blush* type MP space 75 space name space nric.. like this...

MP 75 Nona Kirana S8411111 A

and send it to 72346. each sms costs 30 cents! *winks* for more details, visit http://www.singaporeradioawards.sg/

- my blog is also nominated for the Best Radio Personality Blog category for radio djs! alongside big names like Rozz from 987fm and the Gold 90.5fm Breakfast show. like whoaaaaaa! voting starts on 22 Feb. so you know what to do ok, dearest lovely readers! *winks winks* oh gosh. i really sound shameless. *taps forehead*

- i would like to set up my own kickboxing class for ladies! there will be a qualified instructor teaching you.. i'll be joining the class, kicking and punching with you ladies. heee.. anyway, it will be once a week and i'm looking at a maximum of 25 ladies for the class. interested? email me at nonakirana@gmail.com

- i'm nervous yet excited about the March issue of MANJA magazine. i have no idea how the fashion spread will turn out. it was a challenge to pose in front of sooooo many people. i'm no tyra banks but i tried. so... *crosses fingers*

- my stomach is rumbling.

- i'm on air at 2pm later.

- i cant think.

- my head hurts.

- i can't smell my food. bleargh.

- i want a new cover for my iPhone.

- i want to get well. soon.

ok. this is sounding tooo random.

till the next smart entry. tata!

about putting f.e.a.r at the r.e.a.r

2010-02-07T13:39:00.007+08:00

sometimes we fight for the things that we feel is right. at the end of it, it's not about winning or losing. it's the triumph in trying. there are so many issues that i feel strongly about. however, as humans, we can't always win. there are times that we will lose. it is the losing experience that should be the driving force to motivate us further, switch strategies and pursue the battle. to have a victory, one MUST fight a battle. but before we fight a battle, we need to straighten our feelings, emotions and thoughts.

our bodies respond to our thoughts, as do our emotions. think of something you love - how do you feel? now think of something you hate - how do you feel? think of something you love again - how do you feel now?

the way our whole body feels changes with what we are thinking. that is precisely why, people who think negative thoughts constantly always feel down and are always depressed. people who think positive thoughts are always happy and have lots of energy.

positive thoughts such as joy, happiness, fulfillment, worthiness, achievement have positive results such as enthusiasm, calm, well-being, energy, ease, love. while negative thoughts such as judgement, unworthiness, mistrust, resentment, fear have negative results such as tension, anxiety, alienation, anger and fatigue.

we fear so many things in our lives as compared to being glad for the things we already have. we fear making mistakes each day, we fear that our hard work wont be paid off, we fear people not accepting us for who we are, we fear failing and we fear so many other fears which appear bigger in our subconscious minds. i suppose it is only natural to feel such.

i saw this acronym from the Internet on FEAR.

F - False
E - Expectations
A - Appearing
R - Real

when we fear too much, things often come true. we put in so much energy into that negative thought, that the universe conspires to make it happen, for real. we only have ONE lifetime to live, so don't spend it being miserable.

this is YOUR life. do whatever makes YOU happy. don't spend your life making everyone else happy if its going to make your life miserable. be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

take a good, honest look at everything in your life. decide which things, situations and people you tend to think most negatively about. get rid of them. negative energy is unnecessary. so shove it off! put fear to the rear, get rid of things that brings you negativity and walk away.

i am sometimes guilty of thinking too much. of over analyzing people and their actions. it does affect me and how i feel at that moment, but i have gained enough strength to put those bad thoughts and feelings aside and to move on positively.

fear hinders greatness. fearful people instill fear on others for fear of failing themselves. if you fear too much, then you are already on your way towards failure. fear not, my friend. for every good deed, good thought and good action, will be made rewarded handsomely by the ONE above. for HE will make the path towards goodness and easier and smoother one for those who believes. Insya'allah. ;)

i shall leave you with a quote from the great Nelson Mandela. ponder about it. have an excellent work/school week ahead everyone! =)

about persevering the storm

2010-01-31T14:46:00.013+08:00

everyone faces some kind of struggle in their lives. either small or big obstacles, a struggle slows down one's path to success. there are moments when we simply feel like quitting. enough of everything difficult. enough of challenges. enough struggles. we give up and quit. i've had my fair share of trying moments that sometimes i just want to give up, forget everything and float in the darkness. however, what keeps me going is that perseverance factor in me.

i've always been the independent sort. i'd rather keep my own personal problems to myself and not share it with anyone. why should i burden other people with MY issues? so, that's the reason why i would often persevere alone and pull myself out of the rut. however, not everyone works the same way. if sharing your problems with someone else can help to ease the pain, then go ahead. but the only common factor is that we will persevere and settle the problems in the end.

i believe that in anything that we do, perseverance is the key to success and a better life. first of all, success is not one of those things that come to people without work. success requires alot of hard work and it’s not always easy. anyone that has experiences any kind of success can tell you that they've encountered problems and difficulties along the way. the only way that they made it through these tough times was sheer perseverance.

alternatively, take a look at someone that you know that has never seemed to have any type of success in their life at all. think back and try to find perseverance in their life. most likely you will find that this person does not have the characteristic of sticking with things when they get challenged with problems. this isn’t always the case but it’s more true then it is false.

perseverance means everything to your success. if you are always giving up when things get tough or when you face impossibilities, it will be very difficult for you to achieve success. without perseverance you will never be successful. that is why perseverance is an absolute must for you and anyone else that wants to succeed in life. the more you learn to persevere when times get tough the more success you will see.

this can be applied to every single part of your life. studies, relationships, work and even social life. we all have yet to achieve the best that we can ever be in our lives. so, why give up so early? when one door closes, insya'allah, God will open more opportunities and doors for you.

ok ok. i know i sound extra positive but seriously, no life is without its fair share of problems. we all know the saying 'it's not the problems that determine your state, it's your attitude towards them', but this often seems much easier said than done, right?

so how do i do it? here are some tips. ;)

if we can stay cheerful when confronted with a problem, that automatically reduces the size of the problem. i know it's much easier to just slide into depression and desperation rather than to find an objective solution to the problem. however, we must learn to cultivate the attitude of a warrior and stand firm. NEVER let our negative thoughts rule us. try gaining strength by remembering the times when we were cheerful, the energy and vibrancy that that cheerfulness gave us.

positive qualities like perseverance and determination can be cultivated and increased in ourselves. whenever you fear the worst and feel it coming, visualise breathing out this fear and breathing in determination and in resolving it. if you worry about the magnitude of a task, why not break it down into smaller tasks and tell yourself to just focus on getting the first small task done.

on top of that, inspiration is such an important factor in maintaining one's positive attitude. by reading stories, we know we are not alone and that within the human spirit lies the capacity to solve these problems. try to surround yourself with as much inspiration in the form of books, music and people as possible. hopefully with this, you can remove yourself from influences that are discouraging you from reaching your goal.

we often increase obstacles with our own self-doubt. instead, why don't we increase our faith in ourselves and our ability to surpass the object in front of us. when a doubting thought comes, we can ask ourselves whether this thought really has any basis in reality because most of the time it does not have any basis at all. sometimes by accomplishing some small tasks we can instill faith in ourselves for the bigger tasks to come.

ok. this might have been too much for some of you to handle. but this happens when too much has been kept inside. but i do hope that you've manage to get some inspiration for this entry of mine.

anyway, a couple of days ago i did a photoshoot for a MANJA Magazine March 2010 Issue. guess what was the theme?

it was "BIG GIRLS". how apt since i've been an advocate of the ideology, Big IS Beautiful! i am no professional model but it was a great learning experience to be posing and to look pretty in front of the camera. it's definitely not easy to be posing with so many people staring at you on the set. but i told myself that i will MAKE IT WORK and not screw up that opportunity. so do get a copy of the March issue of MANJA once it's out ya. i seriously hope the pictures will turn out fine. *crosses fingers* meanwhile, here's a sneak peek!

also, an official email by THE DREAM ACADEMY has been sent out to those who have emailed their interest much earlier to attend my sharing session. i truly hope that you ladies will show me your support by attending as it will be my first time meeting my blog readers and followers, UP CLOSE and PERSONAL. if you're interested, you can email your queries to askdreamacademy@gmail.com

thank YOU for taking the time to read this. i truly appreciate it.

it's ok to walk in the rain and weather the storm. eventhough you will be drenched and cold due to the weather, at least you know the sun will be out soon. may the sunshine, dry your pain and worries, and bring back your hope and determination so that you can continue walking. persevere, my friend. =)

about a hard days' work

2010-01-20T00:32:00.012+08:00

they say sometimes good things just come knocking on our doors. but how often do moments like that happen to us, right? for me, i've always had high hopes and dreams. i enjoy pushing myself further. i enjoy breaking limits and testing my capabilities. i enjoy setting targets for myself. i enjoy working under pressure.

each of us operate differently. my style might not work for those who are not able to handle pressure well. some people enjoy working at their own steady pace. some enjoy breezing while some prefer to dash through it. whatever your style is, fine tune in and use it to your advantage. at the end of the day, it's about working towards success and improving yourselves as you go along.

2010 has started out pretty well for me. alhamdulillah. probably because the pressure to do well and become better than what i was in 2009 is much greater now.

ok. let' see. it's 12.40am as i'm typing this. my Wednesday will go as follows.

8.30am to 10.10am - driving lesson
10.30am to 12pm - work at the office
12.30pm to 2pm - farewell lunch for a colleague
2.30pm to 3.30pm - meeting at client's office
4pm to 6pm - radio shift on WARNA
6pm to 830pm - TV news on Suria
8.30pm to 930pm - reply emails and prepare plan for work

and after that i'll be heading home...

let me not go into Thursday and Friday and Saturday and Sunday. it's a busy busy week!

speaking of which, i'll be hosting for a workshop by Urusan Pengantin on Sunday, 24 Jan at the Arts House from 1 to 6pm. for those of you getting married and is totally clueless about how to go about planning for your big day, you MUST attend this workshop with your partner. for more information you can go to www.urusanpengantin.com

not only that, the Arts House itself is a nice and historical place for you to visit at any time. seriously. ;)

ok. so that's what i'm up to, workwise till this Sunday. hmmmm... sometimes i hardly have time to breathe. but being swarmed with work and assignments give me a sense of accomplishment. this is the sacrifice i have to make in order to achieve greater things in life. everybody wants to be successful, but if we don't put in that extra effort and go that extra mile in making things work, then when will success ever come our way?

can you pass your exams without studying?

can you simply pray for money to drop from the sky eventhough you're jobless?

can you lose that extra 10 kilos if you're right in front of the TV each day, munching on potato chips?

can you be the best employee at your workplace if you continue talking about other people and how their success was due to them sucking up to the boss or being favoured by Superiors?

the answer is NO.

successful people have no time to worry about what ifs.

successful people ACT and REACT accordingly.

successful people WORK HARD to achieve success.

personally, i still feel that i am no where near successful. but i am indeed thankful for having given the opportunity to prove myself each day at work and to the world. this is my chance to keep persevering despite all odds and strive to be a better person. cheesy you might say, but it works for me.

when everyone else moans about the heavy rain after work, just smile and be thankful. close your eyes, enjoy the sound of the raindrops and breathe in the wet air. be thankful that you're still standing on your two feet. be thankful that you're still able to breathe and live. smile and be thankful. =)

NEVER compare your life with others because you have NO IDEA what their journey is all about. look at your own life. reflect and think about how you can make it much better and more exciting than it was yesterday. if we can't take charge of our lives and how we react to circumstances, then no one can help us. in life, you are your own boss.

so, for me, i can choose to complain that i'm so busy and that i have no time for holiday or a short break or a social life... or i can choose to be thankful for having all these opportunities to grow and learn each day. to experience life and make the best of what comes along. of course i choose to be positive and still stay afloat. and so can YOU!

well, it's time for me to head to bed now. till the next time. thank you again for reading this post of mine. =)

about being a size 12 (and perhaps sometimes a 14)

2010-01-11T00:18:00.014+08:00

as said on twitter, i would like to share my experience of being a size 12. this entry was actually sparked from an episode of ELLEN that i watched a couple of days back. apparently, if you're a size 6 and above, you're considered plus size. scary because since i'm double of a size 6, it means i'm HUMONGOUS!

the media somehow plays a big part in influencing and creating the so called "perfect" figure image. girls have to be pretty, fashionable and unfortunately SKINNY in order to be "accepted". real women are forced to believe that having a waist size 24 and wearing a size ZERO to be gorgeous. eh hello, to me ZERO is not even a number! pfft.

but then again, this IS the media we are talking about. of course you'd like to see hot and gorgeous women on print, tv, film and everywhere else. but somehow, we forgot that the MEDIA might not necessarily be a n accurate representation of the REAL world. not everyone is born gorgeous, skinny nor fashionable. not everyone is a size zero with perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect complexion, perfect legs, perfect tummy, perfect face, perfect everything. because PERFECTION is a state of the mind. and physical perfection, in my own opinion DOESN'T EXIST!!! confidence is not totally about how you look, but how you truly feel about yourself. ;)

this self-image and self-esteem issue has been with me since i was in primary school. like i've said before, i was NEVER the pretty one in school. i was short and fat and boys find me entertaining only because i was like one of them.

before i elaborate further, let's go down MY memory lane.

here's the part where i share some really retro pictures of me which can be either amusing or plain ugly. but it's ok. it's MY past and i am proud of it. =)

ready? let's go!

as a toddler, i WAS cute. that's me at 2 years old.

during my kindergarten years, i was still adorable. always the entertainer of the class. here i am, posing at my sofa, right before heading for our graduation ceremony at school. i was the LEAD singer of my nasyid group. check out the red lips, courtesy of my mum. at this point, i was still very much a confident 6 year old.

this is me with an old friend after a Book Prize ceremony which we both won for some subject. we were 8 and our mums thought it was cute to have a picture together. check out the unhappy look on my face. anyway, this was the part where i started to put on weight and "de-cute-ify" myself.

ok. you're allowed to laugh at this one. that's me when i was 12 when i was 12, i had the "kakak-kakak" look. as u can see, i definitely had some style issues. at this stage, i was the girl that boys go to if they wanted to get to know any of my girlfriends. sad, but that was how it went. despite having boys not look at me in the "nak go steady with me" sort of way, i still played it cool. i was likeable, cheerful and helpful. so, that helped get through the "no boys wanted to like me" moments.

ahhhh... secondary school. this is where i was at my "ugliest". during that stage in my life, being in an all girls' school did help. since there were no boys, i had not so much of a problem trying to be pretty. however, i did have pretty friends. in the clique, i was the entertainer, the clown and the tomboy.

in sec 4, i decided to be more girl, because trying hard to be a boy was actually kind of tough. so i kept my hair long and tried to be more effeminate.

my dearest girlfriends and i during our graduation dinner. everyone was wearing a modern outfit EXCEPT me. i wore my Hari Raya kebaya. firstly because i couldn't afford a graduation dress, secondly because my mum said, i either wear it or NO graduation dinner. so, kebaya pun kebaya la....

the weight keep putting on because food was my comfort. when i was happy, i ate. when i was sad, i ate. when i was bored, i ate. so, here's the result. clearly you see, i was as round as a ball. i think i was 18 here. goodness gracious. this was one of my lowest moments when it came to self-esteem. i felt ugly.

in 2006, i was almost 90kg and a size UK 20. i was HUGE. i clearly remember trying on a pair of jeans at Dorothy Perkins and cried in the changing room. i could only fit into a size 20. of course i had to cry! then, i made a promise to myself. to stop hurting my body. to work hard and shed the pounds off. to fit into smaller clothes.

this was me at Anugerah Planet Muzik 2007 at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. within a year, i managed to lose more than 12 kg. i felt better and prettier. i actually felt good about myself. i made sure i kept to the same diet and exercise routine. i discovered the joy of running. it was like escapism for me. when i was running, i was breathing out all of my negative energy. i told myself that i need to do this FOR MYSELF.

i was at my lowest of 63kg here at APM 2008 in Kuala Lumpur. i wore a GOWN! a really pretty gown! =)

i continued eating healthy and exercising regularly. the weight went up a little and it has stayed the same ever since. experts call it a plateau. ;)

that's me in November 2009.

and this is the MOST recent picture of me with Kak Ghai, a Warna listener. ;)

i'm still doing my best to stay positive and continue to love the way i look. it's indeed not easy, to maintain such an attitude in an industry where beauty plays quite a vital part of your job.

the main objective of this entry is not to showcase how i got to where i am, but to share with my dear readers, that celebrity or not, we do face the same issues in life. growing up is part of a learning process. life itself is a wonderful learning journey. we build our self-image over time. we might go through the different stages in life but having a positive attitude and self-image helps in working towards being a successful individual.

this is why i enjoy calling myself an ugly duckling. because i have evolved and will continue to do so. the same goes for you. each one of us is unique. you can never truly copy someone but to keep pushing yourself, to improve and find the REAL YOU. don't be Nona Kirana or someone else you idolise. be better than them and be the BEST that YOU can ever be. can? ;)

learn to love yourself before you can learn to love others. physical beauty fades with time, but it's the inner beauty that stays till you grow old. cliche but true.

meanwhile, dearest ladies, i will share more pictures of me in my sharing session. the response has been quite good so far. so if you're interested, do keep the 20th of February, 3.30pm to 5.30pm available ok! the venue and commitment fee will be announced later. email me your name, age and contact number to nonakirana@gmail.com

i'm still working hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle. it's a constant effort in wanting to be a fitter and much more energetic person. i'm a size 12 now or perhaps even a 14 at times. but i'm proud to be ME. alhamdulillah. =)

happy monday everyone!

++++

to the person who didn't quite approve of me writing this entry:

i'm sorry.

i'm just a little stubborn. and i can't help it. =P

biarlah orang nak cakap, atau komen, atau kutuk, atau puji atau buat bodoh.

like i've said before... "what others think of us is none of our business... "

right? ;)

about a short getaway

2010-01-07T21:36:00.018+08:00

as promised, here is my story about port dickson!

it is my FIRST TIME travelling with Warna listeners. i have to say that i was pretty much enthusiastic about it eventhough it was a two days and one night trip to Port Dickson and Malacca. the thought of being with my fellow collagues and beloved listeners for a short getaway was so VERY exciting.

we went to THE LEGEND Water Homes and Water Chalets in Port Dickson. it was FABULOUS. i was truly overjoyed when we entered our rooms because there was a swimming pool in it! yes! A SWIMMING POOL! there were like 2 king sized comfy beds in our room, with an attached mini kitchen and beautiful dressing area. it's definitely the sort of place that would fit honeymooners. hehe.

here's a video i took of my room. you can see my colleagues, Mariam Mas'od and Zaza Majid enjoying the excellent space and please excuse my "action cute" moment at the end. it was totally random. lol. ;)

anyway, here's another inside peek to DJ's sitting down on the floor of a 5 star hotel. i love these people so much and they made the trip even much more worth it. ;)

ok. time for some random pictures now. these were taken by fellow listeners who tagged me on fb. you know who you are. so, THANK YOU.

the welcoming session we had with listeners upon arrival to port dickson.

10 of us (left to right: Zan, Dyn, Shaik, Morniyati, Zaza, Isadhora, TG, Wonderwoman, Mariam & Suharti) Ibrahim Jamil aka IBJ aka Abang I, was supposed to be the 11th. ;)

the crowd at the gala dinner. as you can see, ORANGE was the main colour theme of the night.

Zaza and I, waiting for our segment.

on stage doing what we enjoy... ENTERTAINING of course!

colourful WARNA LADIES! =D

we were honoured to have Mr. Zainul Abidin Rasheed, Senior Minister of State, Ministry of Foreign Affairs and wife Mdm Saadiah, join us for the trip. we hope you did enjoy yourselves during the gala dinner and also during the trip as a whole. ;)

time to pack up and head back to our rooms for a good rest.

with some listeners during BREAKFAST. by the way, the food was GOOD. seriously. hehe.

while waiting to board our buses and head to Malacca!

unfortunately, i did not manage to have any pictures of our stop at Malacca and Simpang Renggam. but indeed, i had so much fun during the 2 days. hopping buses at each stop. having my own mini motivational talks session in each bus. meeting our dearest listeners was an amazing experience.

thank you to EVERYONE who made the trip a success. may we have more opportunities in the future. ;)

ok. time check now is 11.40pm. which means it took me slightly more than 2 hours to do up this simple update on the trip. it doesnt help that my jurassic park laptop takes ages to load. haha.

that's about it for now. till my next update! tata!

about the sharing session

2010-01-04T13:09:00.007+08:00

inspiration sometimes come at the weirdest of moments. i'm supposed to be finishing my script but here i am, blogging down my thoughts. the starting of 2010 has been pretty good so far. i promise to share about my trip to port dickson, malacca and simpang renggam with Warna listeners, once i have resized the pictures ya.

meanwhile, i was just thinking. about meeting up with my fellow blog readers. i'm truly humbled by some of the comments and feedbacks that i have received from my dearest readers about my blog. i think it's about time that i meet up with these kind people for a sharing session of sorts.

i'm looking at Saturday, 20 February, 3.30pm to 5.30pm. if you are interested to be part of it, do email me your name, age and contact number to nonakirana@gmail.com

i will look at the response and will advise you from there. basically it'll be a simple sharing session about myself and perhaps a little about goal settings which is somewhat relevant for the new year. on top of that, it will also be a good platform for you to meet new people and widen your network of friends. =)

oh. i almost forgot. it's a LADIES ONLY event ya. heee. ;)

ok ok. time to go and focus on work now.

have an excellent monday everyone!!

about 2009 being 2009

2009-12-31T21:59:00.005+08:00

This blog will be about a year old once 1 January 2010 comes. And this shall be my last entry of 2009. Looking back, this blog has helped me alot in sharing my thoughts, opinions, feelings n words of inspiration to those who care to read. I have indeed grown as an individual and will cherish all the passing moments that came along with 2009.

Life itself is too complicated to decipher or comprehend. As human beings, we are always in search of a deeper meaning and purpose to this life that we have. The journey that we have gone through this year has enriched us as a person with memories that will be etched in our minds for quite a while.

2009 for me has been the toughest ever. The downward curve has taught me valuable lessons of life. I've loved and lost and found love again. I've fallen and cried but I got up and started running again. This tough exterior I put on has been a shield that served me well through trying moments. We only live this life once and with each new year, it gives us yet another chance to pursue bigger and greater things in life. We should be thankful for that.

So let me reminisce some of the precious blessings of 2009...

Let's me first talk about my job.

WARNA is like a family to me. It's more than just work. People there are family. People in Mediacorp are more than just fellow colleagues. They are those who are like your mums, sisters, brothers and mentors. I'm blessed to be part of such an amazing and unique team. On top of that, my work in radio gives me chance to be close to our fellow listeners each day.

Abang Shaik once said this to me, that we are on air 5 to 6 days a week and that makes us current to the society. People hear our voices and the things that we share on air. We become familiar voices to them. We are able to create that relationship with our listeners due to the nature and interactivity of radio.

Listeners play a big part in our job as radio presenters. Their support, kind comments and even criticisms help make us a better presenter. To all of my fellow listeners and kind followers, thank you for making my job in radio a memorable one. I truly appreciate every single one of you. To my fellow colleagues in radio, thank you for being a part of my life, here's to a fabulous and brighter 2010 ahead for us, WARNA and Mediacorp.

Next is my family, my priority in life. The reason why i'm doing what i'm doing.

Ibu, thank you for always being supportive and for doing your best to understand me. Despite our differences, things have been stable and alright so far. Thank you for looking after Haris when I'm at work. Thank you for making sure that the house is in order. You know i love you and i will take good care of you, no matter what.

Abang, thank you for being responsible and finally settling with a job. I know that I can somehow depend on you and I'm thankful that you are contributing to the family now. I appreciate your effort. So, thank you.

Haris is an amazing little boy that is God's gift to me. Positive, cheerful, friendly, smart, sensitive and many more. He is more than what i imagined a child should be. I shall continue loving you with all of my heart and will do my best to provide and care for you. Thank you for loving me just as much if not more. Mama loves you more than anything else in this world.

Hisham, thank you for making 2009 a wonderful experience. We've had our ups and downs. I'm glad and very thankful that we've managed to get through this challenging year together. As i've said before, we shall look ahead to 2010 with our heads up high. Towards a better future. We shall work hard to achieve our dreams and hopes. We've visualized enough and it's time to make things a reality. May this relationship be stronger than ever as we countdown the big day and also to the two tickets to Paris, right dear? ;)

Finally, thank you to EVERYONE who has made my 2009 yet another memorable year.

My best friends, close friends, long lost friends, colleagues, acquaintances, listeners, supporters, followers, blog readers, everyone.. just everyone. Without your presence, 2009 wouldn't have been 2009. You make life more interesting for me. And i'm nothing and nobody without YOU.

May Allah bless our lives with more wonderful memories and experiences for the coming 2010. May our hearts be filled with love and joy, strength and courage, hope and inspiration. We shall be ready for the bigger bumps and also look forward to greater successes and achievements ahead. Amin. Insya'Allah.

2010 will be a blast! ;)

about money, money, money

2009-12-24T12:51:00.004+08:00

Source: Fundsupermart.com

• Planning for your children's higher education?
• An around-the-world trip?
• Investing for your dream house?
• Protecting your income for your family?
• Increasing life expectancy and rising health care costs?
• Inadequate retirement nest egg?

These are the hopes and fears that most of us are familiar with. But how confident are you of reaching them? Do you know that if you are one of the many Singaporeans who depend solely on your CPF for retirement, you can look forward to a retirement income of only S$750 or less?

To avert a potentially bleak retirement future for all Singaporeans, our government has sponsored initiatives such as the MoneySense (www.moneysense.gov.sg) program to improve financial knowledge among the general public. The private sector too has spent advertising dollars to urge Singaporeans to be financially prepared for retirement and other eventualities. As a result of the heightened interest and awareness, there is now a profusion of financial instruments and services in the market to help consumers attain their lifestyle objectives.

With increased choices, however, the possibility of leaving your hard-earned money in the wrong places becomes greater. So, how do you ensure that you have the right financial plan and instruments that will help you reach your lifestyle objectives?

What is Financial Planning?
Financial planning is the process of objectively assessing and managing your finances in order to achieve your lifestyle objectives. A good financial plan provides direction and meaning to your financial decisions. To use a simple analogy, financial planning is akin to planning a long and distant road trip. There are numerous decisions that need to be made and factors to consider before you embark on the journey. Even when your journey has started, you might realise that, sometimes, even the best-made plans need to be changed mid-journey, due to changing circumstances.

Financial planning is similar except the stakes are much higher; the journey is much longer and the consequences of poor planning are direr. What are the questions that you typically need answered before you embark on a trip? And how do they compare to the questions that need to be answered before constructing a financial plan?

Asking these questions presents a starting point in the process of constructing a financial plan. The next step is to find the answers to these questions!

Do I Need Advice?
It really depends on your unique situation. With the wealth of information that can be easily found on the Internet, it has now become more feasible for individuals to independently manage their finances.

However, making quality financial decisions requires both an ample commitment to learn and research, coupled with a great dose of self-discipline. And even though the Internet provides a rich source of information, the sheer amount of information available can be overwhelming for a layperson. It takes a certain level of financial knowledge to make sense of the industry jargons, concepts and methodologies.

Ultimately, the question is not whether you need advice per se. Rather, the question is whether you have the necessary EXPERTISE and TIME to do your own financial planning. If your answer is "No" to either, it is important to get sound advice from the professionals. These professionals will:

• objectively assess your financial circumstances;
• advise you on how to achieve your lifestyle goals;
• manage your finances and allow your money to grow for the future whilst ensuring you and your families are financially protected.

Where Do I Get Advice?
Whether you are planning for early retirement, saving up for your children's university fees or aiming to ensure that you and your family are adequately protected, rest assured that there are trained professionals who have spent their careers serving many others with the same concerns. The Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) regulates persons who provide financial advice to consumers under the Financial Advisers Act (FAA). The term Financial Adviser (FA) refers to a corporation and the individual providing the advice is referred to as the Financial Adviser Representative (FAR). Exempt FAs are banks, insurance companies, finance companies, insurance brokers and holders of a capital markets services licence.

It is important that you deal only with FARs from a licensed Financial Adviser. To find out if the person you are speaking to is a representative from a licensed FA, a "Financial Institutions Directory" on the MAS website (www.mas.gov.sg) provides a directory of all licensed Financial Advisers in Singapore. It is also important for you to be aware that the type of advice given ranges even within the industry. It is important to know how these distinctions affect you.

A Final Note
There are no hard and fast rules to getting the best advice, and it is difficult to quantify how trustworthy the adviser is. Just like any other product or service you buy, shopping around for advice is crucial. It is important for you to get on with your adviser, especially since you will need to share a certain amount of personal information with the adviser.

++++

the article above did strike me quite a bit as finances has always been a tough issue for me to manage. being the solebreadwinner for more than 3 years now is no easy task, but it has made me a financially apt individual.

Hisham once told me that we were never taught about LOVE, HAPPINESS and MONEY in school. which was VERY true actually. there were no specific subjects taught about it. we had to learn from life experiences.

LOVE - our teachers did not teach us how to seek love, maintain love, manage love, handling break ups etc...

HAPPINESS - our teachers did not teach us the right way to be happy, how to achieve happiness, maintaining a happy and positive attitude etc..

MONEY - our teachers taught us Maths. with 10 dollars, how many $1 pencils can you buy? but they did not teach us how to pay for a house, managing loans and credit bills, household expenditures, savings, investments etc...

i started becoming the sole breadwinner since i finished school. my mum got retrenched. my late grandma fell had a heart attack and fell really sick. and because there is a need for a full-time care taker, my mum was the one and i became fully resposible for everyone in the house. And that was in 2005.

it was not easy to be supporting 4 other people and paying for EVERYTHING yourself. but i did my best to make sure that everything was taken care of. even if it means working for more than 12 hours sometimes. the routine was, to work hard, a couple of projects and part-time jobs at the same time, pay bills and necessities and save NONE. because that was how it went. all the money i earned went to the family.

however, i forgot all about MYSELF. to plan for MY FUTURE. what if I fell sick? what's going to happen to all the other people in my care? i still need to feed them, right?

i've never had an insurance of savings plans of sorts. not because i wasn't interested, but because i wasn't informed of such things. up till the day i met Hisham. yes, my fiance happens to be a FINANCIAL PLANNER. he literally plans your finances and makes sure it's healthy. for you and also your loved ones.

he shared with me stories about how insurance help alot of his clients, who fell sick or even passed away. the sum of money that was insured to them did help their loved ones in moving on. and that made me think. what if i died a sudden death? what's going to happen to my mum, Haris and my bro? so... i signed up for an insurance plan which cost me very little. seriously.

and then, how about savings? like i said, i'm not the kind who forces myself to save. the only money i save is in my coinbox. i make it a point to put $1 or 50 cents coins in it. heh. anyway, i signed up a savings plan because it literally forces me to save, with very high returns due to the company's investments instruments. it's like CPF, but the best part is, you can take it out at anytime when you need it. at first i didn't know such things existed. but there is! seriously!

ok ok. i'm not promoting my fiance or preaching insurance/investments plan of any sort. but i'm just sharing with you the importance of managing our finances. to plan for the future. for ourselves, our children and also those whom we love.

we need to be smart enough to be able to differentiate between the needs and the wants. when i was younger, my wants were more important than my needs. i'd rather buy an expensive handbag than to save. but now, as i grow older, it's about making sure that i have more than enough for my future. nowadays, i'd rather take the bus than the taxi because it saves me alot more money! save! save! save! because you'll never know when you might bump into an emergency and need that cash.

don't know how best to save and plan? find yourself a qualified Financial Planner or FP as they'd like to be called. and talk to them about how you can make your money grow. consultation is FREE by the way.

in any case, if you're interested to meet Hisham for a free advice, he'll be around at the Singapore Expo, Hall 6B, 24 to 27 Dec, from 10am to 10pm. find him at the MANULIFE booth C34. he'll be more than glad to talk to you.

anyway, i'll be there too! today from 5-6pm for a "live" re-enactment of Kalimah Asmara and Saturday, 26 Dec from 10am to 1pm for the Taklimat of the Port Dickson trip with WARNA DJS.

see u there! =)

about a BIG rock

2009-12-17T12:32:00.010+08:00

when someone tells you to be careful, they either truly mean it or they do not want you to make the same mistakes as they did. personally for me, i've always been labelled as stubborn. i take it positively though. i've made a couple of wrong decisions in my life but those little experiences made me learn invaluable life lessons.

exploring new things takes a lot of courage. we are often afraid of the unknown and therefore prefer to stick to what is familiar and common. our parents would constantly remind us to study hard, get good grades, finish our studies and get a stable job. once we have achieved that, it's probably time to find a partner, get married, buy a HDB flat, have kids and save enough for old age. it's a cycle. a routine and common one for most singaporeans. so what's makes YOU different from the rest? i feel, it's about pushing our boundaries and breaking our limits.

when we do things that we enjoy, life becomes more meaningful. right? but how many of us get to do things that we enjoy, 2 out of 10 individuals perhaps? ask yourself if you're truly happy with what you're doing. if you're not, then something is not quite right. you NEED to do something about it and convert that unhappiness into joy.

when the tough gets going, the rewards are higher. no pain no gain. and i'm not even trying to sound cheesy here because these are unarguable truth. we frequently get disappointed after a failure. more than often, we are afraid to bear the consequences of failure.

everything comes with an associated risk. and we know that risk and rewards come together in a package. if you choose to take low-risk approach, your rewards will be not as fantastic. you might as well continue with whatever you feel comfortable with. however, when you take a high-risk approach, your rewards can be limitless. view risks as forces of motivation instead of fearing them. we are sure that by doing sufficient preparation and homework, you will gain confidence in taking up the challenges that cone along.

i'm constantly exploring new options and ideas, because as a human being, there is much more to learn in life. this is NOT it. life IS challenging. but it also offers many more potentialities and temptations than any one of us could begin to explore in a thousand lifetimes. its journey follows a rocky road of inescapable obstacles that must be addressed to progress further.

here's a little question...

when you see a BIG rock, you either:

A) stop and wait for someone to push it aside for you?
B) stop and wait for someone before you push it aside TOGETHER?
C) stop, wait, think of a strategy and continue waiting?
D) stop, wait, think of a strategy and go ahead with it?
E) stop, wait, think and climb over it?
F) pray for a miracle?

i'd probably choose E just because i'm not the kind who enjoys waiting and sitting around too much. i'd probably fall after trying to climb that BIG rock, but at least i tried. and after that, i'd choose D. and if that fails, i'll pick another D. if that fails as well, only then will i consider choosing F simply because i want to see what lies ahead. the unknown somehow fascinates rather than scare me.

each of us would answer that simple question with a different choice. whatever the approach we take, we must remember that life is NOT a goal. it's a process of achieving goals along the way, before we meet a guaranteed death at the end of it. besides death, NOTHING else is certain in life.

so dear readers, push your boundaries and break your limits.

it's ok if you fall, at least you tried jumping high to get over that rock. ;)

anyway, it's going to be 1 Muharram after mahgrib later! and i'm excited to celebrate it at the mosque later. Insya'allah.

so, Ma'al Hijrah to my Muslim friends!=)

about the crab and his friend

2009-12-07T22:26:00.009+08:00

hisham once shared this analogy with me.. it's about a crab...

imagine a bowl full of crabs. out of all the crabs, there is this one crab who does his best to climb out of the bowl. he gathers all the energy to climb out of it but there are always other crabs who are constantly tagging on his legs and bringing him back down to the bottom of the bowl. however, he does not want to get out by himself, but am also doing his best to pull out a friend along with him, out of the bowl and into the bigger more exciting world out there. finally, after gathering all his strength and courage, he managed to do it, along with a crab friend or two. the rest are still left in the bowl, trying to bring each other down and not escaping from that confined and negative environment.

sometimes certain people walk into your life, not bringing the kind of energy you need. negative ones that is. to stay afloat despite having bad energy can be trying. but if you are able to equip yourself with the skills and abilities to push these negative vibes aside, things would indeed be much better.

there are some people who will bring you down when you're doing your best to make you way up. no doubt about it. but do you let these people succeed in dampening your spirits, or do you smile about it and work out the best way to manoeuvre your way out of it?

i seriously don't know how i became what i am today. perhaps it was the environment i grew up in. my humble beginnings, growing up in a low income family was the driving force to want better things in life when i'm older. the cheerful personality i had as a kid was a front i put on so that i can forget about the unfortunate life i had. somehow, it worked to my advantage. subconsciously, i developed a positive attitude towards things in life.

when we share our happiness with others, it banishes the negativity. when we genuinely try to make others happy, it brings about self-satisfaction. when we do our best to help others get out of the rut, it creates hope for them and ourselves.

try this, when the negativity starts just turn your cheek and walk away. just go and find something else to do, something positive. don't let the negative person start to churn your emotions. the stirring of emotions is what is so draining. have you ever had a huge argument with a spouse, friend or family member? do you recall how draining it is on you? forget about it and move on. it'd probably make you swallow your ego, but trust me, it helps in the long run. ;)

besides that, sometimes you just have to cut the cord. if somebody is sucking the life energy out of you, then it may be time to find someone else to talk to or confide in. find someone positive you can confide in. someone who genuinely cares without a hidden agenda.

the best way to kill negativity is with positives. do your best to stay up beat and maybe these negative people will pick up on it. negativity breeds negativity but being positive does the same exact thing but you just need a heavier dose of it.

remember, there will always be negative people around you and you will never get away from it totally, but just being able to identify it you will be able to react to it better.

human evolution is part of a chain reaction.

we experience, we learn and we evolve. practice, take action and it will become a habit.

i'm sharing this with everyone based on my personal experiences. people criticise and scrutinise at my life all the time. every little act is amplified. all i can do for now is to absorb these comments, push the negative ones aside and work on my weaknesses and convert it into strengths. and so should you. =)

we cannot stop people from saying what they feel like saying. but we can stop ourselves from being badly affected by what they say. smile, walk away and move on.

so, i'm that crab. doing my best to get out of the bowl.

would you like to come along with me?

jom! ;)

about being someone you happen to know

2009-12-01T15:00:00.010+08:00

i have never really enjoyed the so called "CELEBRITY" status.

now, let's look at the dictionary and see what it means:

ce⋅leb⋅ri⋅ty
/səˈlɛbrɪti/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suh-leb-ri-tee]
–noun, plural -ties for 1.
1. a famous or well-known person.
2. fame; renown.

because of my work in radio and tv, perhaps you can fit me in the "well-known person" category. but honestly, i'm as normal as you are. i go to work like every other person. i get my salary to pay off bills and feed 3 other mouths, i do my best to save up and the cycle goes on again.

and to maintain a positive attitude despite the negativity at times, has been a challenge. i'm very thankful for all the nice words and kind support from EVERYONE, via emails, messages on fb, tags on my chatbox, smses and personal greetings. BUT, we can never please EVERYONE. it's just not possible.

have you heard the saying, "Orang lain susah hati bila tengok orang lain senang. Orang lain senang hati bila tengok orang lain susah." there are still people who enjoy feeding on the misery of others. and this group of people are the ones who will scrutinise each of your actions, trying their best to find your weakness and amplify it. thus overshadowing all the other good things and achievements that you've done and had so far. inevitable, but very real.

so, which one are you?

"the glass is half empty" or "the glass is half full" type of person?

people see things differently. while some concentrate on negative possibilities, seeing their glasses half empty instead of half full, others consistently look on the bright side. but being positive does not mean being unrealistic.

while life can bring challenging times, having a positive attitude often can have real mind and body benefits. people who are less burdened by pessimistic thinking do not suffer the health risks associated with stress. they feel more empowered to change their lives for the better.

why don't you try some of these:

>> eliminate negative self-talk.

when we constantly tell ourselves what we “ought to do,” “should have done,” and “can not accomplish,” we are filling ourselves with negative self-talk. this can make us feel unable to make positive changes. turn negative self-talk into positive self-coaching. for example, instead of focusing on what you think you can not do, brainstorm about your strengths and focus your energy on developing it.

>> stay flexible.

who said change was going to be easy? often, we do not have control over the changes in our lives. instead of concentrating on the way things were, focus on how you can make the best of the way things are. for example, if changes at work mean new challenges in your job, try to excel at your new duties instead of dwelling on the past. MOVE ON. and be good at it.

>> get involved.

activities that provide a sense of accomplishment, such as volunteering at an old folks home or an orphanage, can make a big difference in both your life and the lives of others. you will feel good about the work you do and help someone else in the process. i'm still doing my best to squeeze in some time for the needy. when we help others, we are also helping ourselves to be a better and more compassionate human being along the way.

>> speak up.

learning to assert yourself at work and home is important in cultivating a positive attitude. when you express your ideas tactfully, you feel better about yourself and earn respect from others. keeping things to yourself can lead to stress and frustration. so, dont bother expecting people to read your mind, if you have something to say, stand tall and say it proudly, like you mean it.

>> be adventurous.

encourage yourself to try new things. take a new class, begin an exercise program, work hard towards that promotion at work. challenge yourself to break out of your rut, and you will be rewarded by feeling better. for myself, besides wanting to start my religious classes weekly, i also want to learn how to DANCE and play a musical instrument! heee. ;)

>> avoid unhealthy responses to stress.

when times get tough, it is easy to let a negative outlook lead to destructive behavior. some of us turn to smoking, drinking, substance abuse and other destructive methods which are detrimental to ourselves. Not only does our religion prohibits those activities, it is also damaging to our body. plus, these activities actually makes us feel worse and not any better. and please, shopping doesn't count cos it burns a whole in our pockets. =P

>> live for today.

i am a firm believer in this. today's little pleasures and accomplishments are the events that make up our lives. instead of reminiscing about the past or living life in anticipation of tomorrow, take time to enjoy and savor the special moments today brings. treasure each passing moment like it's your last. the smile on your child's face. the laughter of your partner when you tell a joke. sitting by the beach and enjoying the breeze. pause, and cherish those moments. live each day like it's your last.

and with that, i'd like to say thank you again for all of your nice and not so nice compliments. i appreciate every single one of it. for, the effort you have put in to comment, shows that you care. so, thank you.

i'm just another humble servant of Allah, who is doing her best to be a good Muslim, a better person and a useful citizen, to Allah, to those whom she loves and to everyone else around her.

iri hati itu adalah milik orang yang tidak redha dengan ketentuan Allah.
bahagia itu adalah milik orang yang bersyukur dengan ketentuan Allah. ;)

i shall continue praying for happiness. for you, for me, for my blog readers and everyone else in this world. =)

about 22 November 2009

2009-11-27T12:55:00.018+08:00

after less than a year of courtship, Hisham and I got engaged on Sunday, 22 November 2009. sometimes, when we meet a certain person in our life, we just know that everything feels right. that the person is THE ONE we want to spend the rest of our lives with. that is how i feel towards Hisham. i saw him and i liked him. i fell in love after i got to know him. =)

alhamdulillah. everything went well on that day. but the preparations for that small occasion started more than a month before. going to jb and back a couple of times to get the stuff for the gubahans. i was very much excited about the engagement that i did almost all of the gift trays MYSELF, with the kind assistance and supervision of my mum that is. hee. Hisham's tray was blue and silver while mine was red. we started with only 12 but in the end we ended up with more than that due to contributions from our family members and close friends. so, thank YOU.

at 3.30pm, his side reached Tampines. at this point, i was quite a nervous wreck. pacing up and down when i was supposed to be sitting down, all prim and proper. i really couldn't help it cos i was seriously VERY nervous.

and so... everyone arrived safely and sat at the living room. my uncle, Haji Sa'ad Haji Idris was our representative who welcomed Hisham's side. he did his welcome opening speech followed by a prayer recitation by my cousin Firdaus Khan who's a qualified Ustaz. i must say that his doa was so touching that i actually teared badly. but all was good and then suddenly it was time to put the ring on my finger!

Hisham's grandmother Hajjah Yamani, whom i adore so very much cos she reminded me very much of my late grandmother, came to where i was sitting and put the ring on my finger. she gave me a hug, kissed me on my cheeks and whispered some things into my ear which made me cry, again. it was such a special moment and i was just touched. plus, being a cry baby doesn't help. i cry at happy things too you know. hehe. ;P

then, it' time for some photo taking with family and friends who were present.

here's the fun picture with cousins, nieces and nephews.

here's the one with my good friends from secondary school. (excuse the guy cos he's the latest addition to the clan. hee.)

and here is the boy, who despite throwing tantrums when all the attention was on me, did his best to control himself and be the sweet boy that he is. Mama loves you so much Haris. you have no idea how much your kind patience and understanding meant to me. he told me that if i'm married to Hisham, he wants to call him Daddy. my heart melted when he said that to me. because at the end of the day, i want him to have a complete family. a mummy and a daddy who will love him more than anything. he adores Hisham and that makes it even special for me. with two H's in my life, what more can i ask for? i'm happy. alhamdulillah.

next up is the woman who made sure that everything went well for my engagement. despite her grumpy nature, i know she loves me alot and wants the best for me. my Ibu, Hajjah Nyai Saminah Ahmad, thank YOU for all the effort you put in to make me happy. fyi, my ibu is not the friendliest of persons but she did her best to make sure everyone and everything was taken care of. our photographer even made her smile during the phototaking sessions, which was amazing cos she rarely smile in pictures! ibu, i promise to continue taking care of you and to work hard so that i can give you a better life. you struggled to bring me and my siblings up and it's time that i repay your kindness while you enjoy living your golden years. i love you Ibu.

at around 6.30pm, after everything has finally settled down, Hisham came over to my place. it was nice to see him on our special day. in his blue baju melayu and songkok, my heart skipped a beat when he entered the door. so drama, i know. =P

we changed outfits and took some fun pictures. the best part is, i managed to convince my handsome malay boy, to turn indian for a while. please tell me that he looks cute in the kurta! hee. ;P

indeed, 22 November 2009 was a special day that will go down in my history books. it marks a step further into our relationship. we shall work hard towards making our big day yet another momentous, joyous and splendid occasion. =)

thank you to...

Ibu - for being the superwoman and making sure that everything was in order. your blessings towards Hisham and I is the most important thing and i'm glad you have been very supportive all these while. i love you Ibu.

Hisham - for accomodating to what i wanted for our engagement and being a sporting partner who is always full of surprises. you make me fall for you even deeper and harder each day. but i don't mind falling cos it's such a beautiful feeling with you. thank you for the surprise proposal at my doorstep! *winks*

Haris - for being the bestest son that any mother can ever wish for. i'm blessed with an angel like you and i will do my best to make sure that you are happy. i love you, more than a million percent! ;)

Cik Faridah, Pakcik Sa'ad, Haziqah & Hilmi - for letting us use your place for the engagement ceremony. your kindness and patience towards everyone's needs is very much appreciated.

Makleen, Kak Rokiah, Rafi, Hadi & Muhaimin - for your kind help in the little things that were needed. Makleen, your mee siam was a killer and the kuihs you did was excellent, as usual. kak rokiah, your heart gubahan was really nice! rafi, the videos you took via my camera was a nice point of view to the ceremony. hadi, thank you for running errands whenever needed. muhaimin, thank you for putting up with your cousin, haris.

Mami Siti, Uncle Jamal, Firdaus, Abg Rahim & Umairah - Thank you for helping us whenever needed. Firdaus, your doa recitation indeed made everyone really impressed. i'm proud to have a cousin like you.

thank you to my boss Zakiah Halim and daughter for coming over.. also to Abg Hassan and wife, Kak Morni & husband, Kak Mariam and Abg Hisam, Kak Faridah and Farhan, Abg TG, Kak Linda, Irfan and Puteri, Kak Roslinda and family and my other colleagues who smsed despite not being able to attend my engagement ceremony. thank you for your kind support and words of encouragement.

thank you also to my kind sponsors!

Ridz from A Picturebook Wedding for sponsoring my engagement ceremony. everyone were complimenting your energy, friendliness and dedication towards taking the pictures. my aunties LOVE you. seriously. when i first met you last year through a friend's wedding, i was amazed at how hard you work in taking the pictures of the event. after checking out your works, i was really impressed as you managed to capture passing moments and emotions of those in the pictures. you don't just take pictures, you tell a story through your amazing shots. i'm excited to work with you again for my wedding!

Myss & Rynn from Simply Irresistible for sponsoring our engagement cakes! they made a pink Chanel handbag cake for myself and a blue car for Hisham. the cakes were soo cute and definitely unique. plus my mum was saying that it's not only good to look at but also very delicious to eat! their sincerity in planning for the cakes and listening to what we wanted made the experience a great one. they specialise in customizing your special cakes and will produce one of a kind cakes that you will never get at any other bakery! any queries, email them to myssaliana@gmail.com

Diah Mastura Roslan from StudioPerfect for making me look pretty!! thank you for sponsoring my hair and make up on that day. the reason why i chose you to do my make up is not only because i want to show support for a friend who's an excellent mummy and entrepreneur but also because her make up is simple yet elegant. she was such a joy to work with as she made me feel comfortable since the start of planning for the engagement. Diah accomodated to the look that i wanted and she delivered it really well. my deepset eyes are not easy to work with but she did an excellent job. i love the way she did my eyes!! so pretty!! hehe.. plus, everyone loved my make up and hair styling too! will post more close up pictures once i have it ya. meanwhile if you're interested in her services, please drop her an email at askstudiofrost@gmail.com

thank you to my dearest blog readers, followers on twitter, Warna 94.2FM listeners, supporters and general followers. your support made everything even sweeter. kadang kala macam tak percaya bahawa ada yang sudi mengikuti perkembangan saya dan ingin mengambil tahu tentang diri saya ini. terima kasih diatas sokongan anda yang tak putus-putus kerana ia memberi saya semangat untuk terus melakukan yang terbaik untuk diri saya dan juga untuk semua yang berada di sekeliling saya. tanpa anda, siapalah saya ni.. =)

so there you have it. a summary of my engagement. it was a simple affair but very special and memorable. thank you agan to everyone who made it possible.

thank you for your kind prayers and well wishes for both Hisham and i.

we truly appreciate it.

i'm now OFFICIALLY TAKEN! yeay!!! *happy dance*

cinta dan kasih sayang itu adalah satu pengorbanan. bila kita mampu membahagiakan orang lain, secara tidak langsung serpihan kebahagiaan itu akan melimpah ke diri kita. semoga Allah memberi keberkatan, taufiq dan hidayah-Nya kepada semua yang telah berkorban demi orang-orang yang tersayang dan juga kepada mereka yang pernah menerima pengorbanan pada suatu ketika dahulu.

we've sacrificed alot to make this engagement happen and bring us a step closer to spending the rest our our lives together.

may Allah bless this special relationship. Amin.

i love you Hisham!

happy 5 days engagement-sary to me!!! lol.

and selamat hari raya aidiladha to all fellow muslims! =)

about the man i fell in love with

2009-11-21T00:14:00.010+08:00

the man who came up to me during Malam Warna 2008 in october and...

he asked, "You're 23 right?"

i replied, "No. I'm 24. And how old are you?"

he replied, "i'm 26."

we took a picture and that was it.

the man who attended Academy Radio 2008 in november and did something which made me remember him for quite a while. he knelt down while receiving his graduation certificate from me.

we took a picture and that was it.

then, after a long time...

it began with a telephone conversation which lasted 8 hours.

and the rest was history.

fate did its magic and...

i fell in love.

it's been a fairytale so far. everything feels right. =)

so let me just make this official here on my blog.

on Sunday, 22 November 2009, i will be getting engaged to an amazing man who taught me how to love again. i've never been so sure in my life... about someone. it's just crazy. but we shall go on this ride together. to live, love, learn and laugh together. may Allah bless this relationship. Amin.

hisham, thank you for being the best partner that anyone can ever wish for. God is kind because He gave me YOU...

"Kali ini kusedari, aku telah jatuh cinta, dari hatiku terdalam, sungguh aku cinta padamu. Cintaku bukanlah cinta biasa, jika kamu yang memiliki, dan kamu yang temaniku seumur hidupku. Terimalah pengakuanku, percayalah kepadaku, semua ini kulakukan, kerana kamu memang untukku..." ~ Afgan, Bukan Cinta Biasa

terima kasih, Cinta. =)

about sunshine after the rain

2009-11-13T12:32:00.007+08:00

when something feels right, everything falls into place. even when dark clouds are hanging right above, you smile because you know that the sun will eventually shine.

i'm excited yet very nervous about what is to come. but i'm holding my head up high because i know that i will make this work. life is good only if you want it to be.

we shall learn not to whine and complaint about how things should be or should have been. but instead we shall learn how to appreciate and be thankful that we still have the opportunity to improve on what we have and make it better than what it was yesterday.

i'm thankful for being able to work in radio. something which i've dreamt of since i was 6. i'm thankful for crossing paths with Isadhora Mohamed (my current boss), during my internship with radio, who believed in me and gave the chance to prove myself in Warna. if not for her, i wouldn't be here. seriously. i love what i'm doing and i'm always doing my best to outdo myself each day. this job gives me different challenges and that is what makes it interesting. now, how many people get to talk on radio, play music, interact with listeners and gets paid for it? i'm blessed. alhamdulillah. =)

i'm thankful for being able to provide for my family. the struggles i went through as a teenager indeed made me stronger and constantly hungry for the better things in life. if not for the pain, success would not have been as sweet.

i'm thankful for having to love and lost. the good memories will indeed remain and the hurtful ones shall be a reminder on how strong i was to have gone through it.

if life were easy, we'd all be boring and lazy beings with zero motivation.

i'm really excited about the future. and so should you. =)

and to side track a little...

9 more days to go! yeay!

*happy dance*

about emotional cravings

2009-11-08T11:29:00.003+08:00

if you love someone, wouldn't you want to be with that person each day? to see that person each day? to spend as much time as you can with that person each day?

i dont get it ah.

giving too much space would be to allow your partner to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex and your partner starts to spend more time with them than with you. right? or even spending time with his friends of the same sex till late at night, much more than he hangs out with you? is that too much space?

i dont get it ah.

perhaps this is the reason why some people indulge in emotional infidelity. we seek attention from someone who is willing to give it to us. we want to feel good about who we are. we want to be loved and acknowledged for who we are. we want to feel validated and needed. so do we find ways to satisfy this attention craving disorder? or do we ignore it and just hold on?

i dont get it ah.

about loving your work

2009-11-04T13:12:00.003+08:00

oh goodness. it's been a while since my last entry. so little time, so much to do. but here goes...

the past few days has been really jam packed with work related issues and also self-discovery moments. but to sum it all up, i'm indeed thankful for being able to do the things that i'm currently doing.

i suppose my passion for the job supercedes the need to somehow find something better at this point. being a radio DJ makes you current. listeners tune in to us 5 to 6 days a week. we are closer and much more personal with our listeners due to the nature of radio in this present day.

i love my job. it keeps me occupied and it challenges me to keep doing better in my presentation and in sharing my knowledge with others. how many of us are able to say that we love what we are doing?

are you doing what you are doing because you love to do it or are you working because of something else? what i'd like to share today is how to love what you do and create success out of it.

from childhood, we learn that we have to work hard to achieve success. we also have learned that it takes lot of blood, sweat and tears to taste success. this is what our parents, elders, school and society teaches us, which gradually becomes our reality.

as we start to work, most of us think and believe that to work hard is something that we must do, but in reality we should be working on something that we love or like or are interested in.

life should be challenging and fun. this applies to both while we are working and enjoying a bit of leisure time. most people think and talk about pleasure when they are not working, but without work, the free time cannot carry the same value. if people are free for one year they definitely cannot enjoy the time. right?

highly successful people are the ones who do their work with lots of passion and excitement. if they are not enjoying and do not get excited, they cannot have the energy to move ahead every year. life can only succeed with passion and when that passion disappears, there is no more driving force left.

think of the love and passion you had in the past or for someone in your life. it can be love for a friend, or for someone fond in the past. it is so nice to meet them and to experience that lovely feeling all over again.

just imagine if you possess the same love and passion for anything you are working with. what do you think will be the result? you will smell this passion in the air and will attract more people who would like to associate themselves with you. now compare this with the person who only serves to get salary. you will soon realize who will be the more successful one.

if there is love and passion, anything is possible. think of Thomas Edison without his love and passion for electric bulb and definitely you will realize what I am trying to convey. this is what separates a performer and a mediocre person. the passion for work. there cannot be success without passion!

attitude is everything. think of children who love to be in the rain, till they hear their parents yelling at them. from that day onwards, the child relates rain with something negative. is your rainy day full of negativity or is it successful? this depends on what you choose!

like i've once said before, remember the joy you felt playing in the rain? it's an amazing feeling, right? remember the crush you once had, and how nice it felt to be in love and to have butterflies in your stomach?

feel that passion for what you're doing and success will come naturally. positive attitudes equates to positive outcomes.

if you don't feel that passion, perhaps you're not quite doing what you really are meant to do. ;)

and hisham, i'm proud of you for taking that big step and finally doing what you enjoy doing. well done dear! and... 18 more days to go!! yeay! ;)

about emotional independence

2009-10-26T22:20:00.007+08:00

i'm independent yet emotionally dependent. growing up in a difficult and challenging environment, means having to fend for yourself all the time. this hard-headedness and wanting to accomplish things all by myself is a strange trait developed slowly over the years.

i don't usually ask for help, because i'll do my best to get things done on my own and also because i don't enjoy burdening people with my issues. on top of that, having a big ego doesn't quite help. i'd rather suffer in silence and get over the pain by myself than to share it with someone else. selfish you say? but i'd like to think of it as independence.

however, when it comes to dealing with emotions, i have to admit i'm quite a mess at times. these negative emotions i have at times are probably brought out due to what i call emotional dependency. and this is following or reacting to the situation at hand and also towards other people.

i'd love to achieve emotional independence someday. i want to be free when it comes to choosing my emotions and moods. what would be excellent is to be able to choose your life and how you live and feel and what you do. an emotionally independent person is a leader. the dependent ones follow.

we need to learn the difference between true and false feeling, compassion and suffering. learn the causes of these states. determine the cause of our suffering. see the unfulfilled desires that cause your suffering. the desire to possess that which you cannot have. you want what you cannot have, therefore you suffer. that suffering is from our imagination, our ego.

i want and i can't have, therefore i suffer. so who is the cause of your suffering? external circumstances or our own minds?

i feel that suffering is caused by not accepting reality. think about reality and imagination. accepting reality is living in the realm of truth. therefore suffering is purely illusion in our imagination because it is caused by a refusal to accept reality, desiring what we cannot have.

have no unattainable desires and you will have no suffering. accepting reality is to; 'not desire what is not acquirable.'

emotional dependence is to; 'desire what is not acquirable.'

emotional independence is to; 'not desire what is not acquirable.'

emotional dependence is to imagine that everything and everyone belongs to you and therefore should respond to your needs so that they give you praise and never contradict you or complain about anything you do.

emotional independence is to acknowledge that every thing and person has its own destiny, life and rights and therefore nothing belongs to you. everything and everyone is free to be or say what they want, as you would like to be.

essentially, emotional independence is where you don't make someone else responsible for your happiness.

there are times when i feel so low because i care so much about how people think about me and how they react towards my feelings and needs. i get upset when things don't turn out they way i want it to, which shouldn't really be the case. i expect too much out of people i love and i hate myself for it at times...

with that said, i'm still learning to be emotionally independent. i need to acknowledge my shortcomings so that i can improve on it. i want to be balanced emotionally and very much contented.

so, the philosophy shall go like this:

you can think what you want, that will not change my life.

what I think WILL change my life.

I choose to be the master of my life, so I leave you to think what you want,

and I will choose my thoughts for myself.

i'm doing my best. are you?

about loving yourself like nicole would

2009-10-20T14:49:00.006+08:00

have you ever wished you were taller or prettier or skinnier or smarter or everything else that you're perhaps not? well, i have. it doesn't quite help that i work in an industry where looks indeed matter.

yesterday during project hope, i got to see quite a few big stars like the gorgeous ZOE TAY, Joanne Peh, Michelle Chia and the handsome Nat Ho, Adrian Pang and many more.. and you know what i realised about the females there?

they are all sooooo tiny and petite! seriously! i felt like a GIANT.

it was a little depressing at first, but after moments of reflection, i realised that there must be something about me for the producers to place me there at the celebrity phone lines area beside other stars... all that, despite me being not so tiny like the rest.

my point is, if you're good, then people will look at you. hide those insecurities and work on polishing your strengths. self-confidence takes effort. i used to be a tomboy in school. i was never the prettiest. i was fat as a kid and teenager. but my strength was in speaking well.

as i grew older, i learnt about grooming and that helped me realise the importance of looking good to create a lasting impression on people you meet. i started exercising, eating healthily and lost quite a bit of weight. till today, i still push myself to workout at least 3 to 5 times a week, despite the weight plateauing for the longest time.

love your self and your body. yes, loving the way you look is accepting the realistic perception of your appearance. you shouldn't feel bad just because you don't look like nicole scherzinger. work towards being in good physical shape and that will be best. the reward will be a beautiful healthy body.

i might not turn skinny like kate moss. but the least i can do is to tone up and look healthy, not malnourished. i still struggle with self-confidence but i'm working on it each day so that i can be a better individual and also kinder to myself.

self confidence comes from what you believe about yourself and others. if you believe everyone can do it better than you, then you underestimate your own ability.

believe that YOU CAN DO IT! and others are not better than you!

remember that NO ONE is perfect.

learn to be comfortable with yourself and who you are. can?

.
.
.

but of course...

secretly, i do wish that someday i'll be as hot as nicole scherzinger. haha! ;P

about positivity masking negativity

2009-10-12T12:54:00.006+08:00

i think i might be schizophrenic at times. there's a part of me that enjoys meeting new people, exploring new things and interacting with the world out there. but there's also this other part of me that'd rather be cooped up alone, away from everyone and everything while appreciating silence. this dual personality of sorts needs to be switched on and off automatically, depending on the situation. it can be tiring but i'm doing alright so far. a social hermit would be an oxymoron but that's indeed what i am for now.

in any case, the weekend has been crazy. emotionally challenging and physically demanding. but meeting amazing people and being around wonderful people makes it worth the ride.

sometimes i wonder how i've managed to survive this far. this bubbly and positive outlook shields the vulnerability of a fragile and emotionally battered soul. but i choose not to let the dark overcome me. people think i'm doing really well but people don't see what's on the other side. and i shall keep it that way.

i've always wanted to be a role model in any possible way i can. i know i cant change the world. but at least i can push those around me or those who know me towards growing into a better person each day. =)

what i'm saying is that it's alright to feel down or terrible about yourself and the state that you're in. but don't ever make it as an excuse for you to not move on and achieve greatness. remember that the strength of character is built through adversity. you have your story and i have mine. let's live it to the fullest and come what may.

have a good week ahead everyone!

+++

" i want to jump into the deep blue ocean. face the sky. open my arms and drown. listening to the endless echoes of the creatures beneath. embracing the darkness and slowly fading away..."

about pausing and absorbing the little moments of happiness

2009-10-09T12:51:00.003+08:00

life has been stagnant, but enriching so far. i'm still learning how to achieve emotional satisfaction from day to day. if i were to think about the negative aspects of my life, i'd probably be one messy and depressed lady. i'm sure there are happy moments in our life that is good enough to boost our spirits.

i suppose we must really learn to take time to stop and truly appreciate the good things that happen to usevery day.. the view from our windows, the sound of thunder and rain, the laughter of our children, a good joke, the adrenalin we get from a good workout, lonely bus rides or simply whatever makes us feel joy and evokes positive feelings also helps to boost our overall satisfaction with life. it also helps build resilience that will take us through tough times, and help fight off depression while managing stress.

when was the last time we walked in the rain?

when was the last time we played hide and seek?

when was the last time we lied down on the ground and gaze at the sky above?

do you remember how good it felt to do all those things?

the happiness, the adrenalin rush, the contentment that those little things brought along is an amazing feeling.

as we grow older and bestowed with various responsibilities, we must not forget our inner child. the innocence in simply wanting to be happy.

yes, you can work hard, be productive and achieve success. but if you're unable to pause for a while and take your mind off work to do something that will make you unconditionally happy, then perhaps you're not living life to it's fullest.

as for me, i'm still learning to constantly find happiness in uncertainty. it hasn't been easy but i will do my best. good things will come. insya'Allah. =)

have a good weekend everyone!

about conquering, controlling and banishing fear

2009-09-24T11:48:00.011+08:00

we cannot erase history because there's too much to learn from past experiences and happenings. therefore, i've added the blog archives on my sidebar.. for my dear readers to read my previous entries and reflections. feel free to read. and perhaps even judge. go ahead. i'm ready. ;)

in any case, syawal has been a low key affair for me. but seeing my aunties, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews come together without our beloved grandmother for the past 2 syawal makes me happy in a melancholic way. the highlight of it has got to be all 22 of us went out to watch a movie (Jin Notti to be precise, which was not as good as it appears to be in the trailers. i felt cheated. heh) so i booked that the tickets and we gathered at downtown east in our pretty and handsome baju raya on the second day of syawal. unconventional but indeed very special.

thank you everyone for making the effort to come along for the movie. it's these little bonding sessions we have that makes our family even stronger. we might be small in numbers but we are big on strength and love. =)

strength conquers fear.
strong minds controls fear.
strong willpower banishes fear.

we all have our fears. losing our loved ones. losing our jobs. losing money to failed investments. losing our hopes for a better future. losing our faith.

we fear so many things that sometimes seem uncertain. this fear can either overcome us or make us even stronger. it's how you convert that fear into a tool to push you forward. to strive and excel in whatever you do. to be better than what you are today. to perform better that how you did yesterday or the days before.

we all have phobias at some stage of our lives, its part of who we are, it's what drives us. however, even though we all have it, some have it more than others for various reasons. many will deal with the psychology of failure in an analytical way but some will just crumble under the pressure, its quiet common for some to give up before they even start.

if you succumb to that fear, then you will fall back into the safety net and continue living in the rat race. to work and make ends meet. be safe or take risks? you decide on which path that suits you best. fear hinders greatness but it also propels towards it.

if we choose to face fear, we will walk out a better man. despite overcoming it or not, it's the act of looking fear into the eye and getting through it that makes us more enriched as a person.

if you fall. get up and continue walking. don't sit down and cry at the reasons that caused you to fall and wait for someone to pull you up. this is your journey. and along the way, you will find people who will run with you, lead and even pace your walk. life will never come easy. it's the bumpy journey that makes it exciting.

i truly feel that life is too short for what-ifs. i've got so many fears myself but i choose not to focus so much of my energy on it. convert that energy into positivity and look forward to grooming and exploring your potentials to a higher level.

"A child does not have to be taught how to be happy or the ways of love. It is fear, hatred, and prejudice that have to be taught. And from the condition of the world we can see that unfortunately there are some very good teachers."

fear not my friend, for God will always be with you. Insya'allah. =)

about ramadan going away.. and welcoming syawal

2009-09-20T10:55:00.007+08:00

ramadan passed by way too quickly for me. i miss that inner peace and tranquility of that special month. it's a time of reflection, a time of giving and a time dedicated even more to God. it also marks slightly more thatn a year of my beloved grandma passing away. it feels empty without her around. but she still lives in my memories... and i indeed miss her very much till today...

this morning, as i asked for forgiveness from my aunt whom i call Ibu, it struck me that she's growing old.. and she's all i've got eversince i became an orphan two years ago. i promised that i'll take good care of her and i will do my best to make her happy.

life is more than about running around in the rat race. life is more than about making money to satisfy our material needs. life is more than about overdoing each other. life should be lived with a purpose.

for me, nothing is more fulfilling than to see my loved ones smile and be happy. for now it's my Ibu, Haris, my brother and Hisham. they are a priority in my life at this point.

my Ibu has been such a strong woman. taking care of me and my siblings all on her own till she got married when i was 6.. only to lose her husband when i was 12. beyond that, it was her who brought us up singlehandedly. working hard to make ends meet just to put us through school. i'm blessed to have her take care of me till today.

my brother, despite the pain that he can be, i'm thankful that he's been taking care of Haris when i'm away at work.. making sure that the house work is done and basically, keeping everyone at home safe when i'm away..

Haris is an angel. the sunshine in our family. the positive little boy who grew up a little to fast for his age. he is the smartest, loving, caring, understanding and such a responsible 5 year old that i've ever known. and i'm glad to call him my son, even though he's not mine to begin with... having him in my life is a blessing..

looking forward into the future, i'm excited cos i've met my match. Hisham has been beyond amazing. he's the pillar of support i need to make things a little easier. he makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me think and he believes in me. he is GOD sent.

alhamdulillah. i'm thankful for what Allah has given me. it might not be perfect, but it makes me happy. i will still continue doing my best in whatever it is that i'm doing and i will make things better. for my family and i.

we may moan for not having this.. for not having that.. for not being like this.. for not being like that.. but if only we open ur eyes, to see what we have.. Masya'Allah.. we are indeed blessed with many things that perhaps others don't have.

it's syawal now.. another brand new month with another beginning... forgive those who have hurt you at one point in time. love those around you with all that your heart can ever give. forget the bitter memories and fill it with sweet ones from happy moments that passed by.

if i've ever said words or done things that made you unhappy or hurt your feelings, i'm sorry.

if i've ever taken something from you without your knowledge or permission, i'm sorry.

if i've ever crossed your paths without saying hi, i'm sorry.

everything that is good comes from Allah, and everything that is bad, comes from me, his humble creation.

Selamat Hari Raya Aildilfitri... Minal Aidin Wal Fa Izin... =)

about being S.M.A.R.T

2009-09-09T13:58:00.006+08:00

so much has happened since my last entry. both good and bad. but actually more good than bad. heh. ;)

good - NORAH AILEEN has finally taken off. for those who are wondering.. why the name.. actually, it's in honour of my late grandmother. that's her name. =)

bad - i havent been sleeping and resting as much as i should. and the bad allergic reaction i had on sunday night was just scary. my face and body was swollen all over. i do not wish to go through such a horrifying experience again.

on a random note. i met my secondary school girlfriends last night and as always, the meet up was fruitful and enriching. more business ideas came up and i'm very excited about making things happen.

i love my work in radio. it's a childhood dream come true. but as i grow older, there are the other little compartments in my aspirations box that needs to be filled. i need to take action and make my dreams become a reality. it's more about self-fulfillment in attaining measureable success.

most of us are sometimes afraid to take action as we are so comfortable with what we have. i feel that this comfort zone takes away our wanting to do well and better in life. most of us plan but we fail to take action. we want to be successful, but how much have we done to get there?

have you heard about S.M.A.R.T when it comes to goal setting?

let me share with you the meaning of it.

S - Specific
M - Measurable
A - Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Timely expectations

make sure that the goal you are working towards is something that you really want. remember that a goal that you set for yourself cannot contradict other goals in your life. no one said it was going to be easy, but you have to consider six areas of your life when you start setting your goals, so that you don't go against other equally important aspirations.

most commonly these areas are divided into family and home, financial and career, spiritual and ethical, physical and health, social and cultural, as well as mental and educational. it's also important to consider writing your goals in a positive, rather than in a negative statement, including as much detail in the statement as possible to ensure that you have put parameters around realizing your goals. don't make it too easy.

the best way to visualize your goals is to write them down and review them each morning and evening. practice visualization on a consistent basis because this process will start both your subconscious and conscious mind working towards achieving your goal.

daily decision-making can either lead you away from your ultimate goal, or take you closer to it. when you make choices during the day, consider your goal. if your choice doesn't move you closer to your goal, it may be time to make a value assessment to determine if in fact this is the right decision at this time. and, unless someone is critical to helping you achieve your goal, do not freely share your thoughts with others.

the negative attitude from friends, family and neighbours can sometimes drag you down quickly. it is very important that you maintain positive self-talk. remember, a goal is really a dream with a deadline.

i'm still on my learning journey towards being a better person while working my way towards success. and i hope that by sharing these little thoughts, it would benefit my dear readers in one way or another.

have a good mid week everyone! =D

about work but not quite work

2009-09-01T17:20:00.003+08:00

just quick one. i barely even have time to breathe. so many things happening at one time.

work has been busy. but busy is always good. as long as work gets done, then i'm good.

i've recently launched http://norahaileen.livejournal.com/ which is an online PLUS SIZE ladies clothing boutique. it's taking up pretty much of my time in the evening. i barely sleep. but it's all worth it. cos i've been wanting to do this for the longest time. and this is just a start to bigger things... =)

ok. this saturday i'll be at IKEA Alexandra from 2 - 4pm. Then on Sunday morning at 4am, i'll be at a charity event for sahur with the team from Manja, some of the RIA djs and also Suria artistes. To be precise, I'll be at Darul Ihsan Lilbanat. on sunday, i'll be reading TV news, followed by my radio shift at 10pm - 2am. that pretty much sums up my weekend. also, i'll be producing HEALTH TIPS daily on Warna for the next one year! need to start working on that cos it starts next week!

anyway, i'm looking for someone kind enough to sponsor designing my online boutique.
anyone interested? email me at nonakirana@gmail.com

ok. time to do more work now.

but i love work. it keeps my mind VERY occupied. =)

about happiness & hope

2009-08-27T23:52:00.005+08:00

haris is a joy.

hisham is GOD sent.

i'm indeed blessed. alhamdulillah.

i'm at my happiest. even though i'm at my lowest.

because i do my best to remember the fact that Allah will not test someone beyond their limits and capabilities.

i WILL get through the dark storm.

and i WILL see the rainbow at the end of it all.

with Allah in my heart.

with my loved ones who still care for me.

i CAN do this. insya'Allah. =)

about the power of thought

2009-08-24T06:21:00.015+08:00

so i cried my eyeballs out... i bashed myself up for feeling so low. but i'm over it. i can't be spending my time thinking too much about my worries and problems. i have to move on. and i did. as always. crying is good. but not too much. cos it's damaging.

being positive and having positive mindsets is A LOT of WORK. no one is born postive. we go through a learning process where background, history, experience and environment plays a big part in shaping who and what we are. but it's DEFINITELY POSSIBLE to be a more positive person each day. we just have to be more patient with ourselves and trust in our abilities. GOD made each of us special. we are on this earth for a reason. so we either react to the situation or be receptive about it. YOU have the power to determine the outcome.

visualise the good moments even if you're down in the dumps. think about how exhilarated and happy you would feel if things are in place. the power of a healthy minds overcomes the weakness of the body. this is what i constantly tell myself.. that i will do it. that one day i'll be well off enough to not have to worry about money. that i will have the freedom to do things that will make myself and others happy, on a bigger and greater scale.

now... i'm doing my best to put my dreams into action. i'm jumping onto the online boutique bandwagon. i'm inspired by some of my friends who are into the online business for years now. some of them are doing so well and i applaud them for the amount of effort put in to make their businesses a success. i'm inspired. and because of that, i'm in the midst of teaming up with someone and concentrating on a more niche segment. and i'm very much excited about it. =)

if i can rock it on stage with pink hair, red lips and mismatched minah rock outfit.. in style.. then, i can do (almost) anything. heh. ;P

life is too short for regrets.. too amazing for "what ifs"... too exciting for "should haves". seize it. for happiness lies in the passing moments that fly by too fast, even before we get to bask a second in it's glory.

jangan sesekali semangat seminit. kalau boleh, semangat sampai bila-bila beb. kalau lu caya diri lu hebat.. lu confirm akan jadi lebih hebat dari apa yang lu fikirkan.

kalau lu tak caya sama diri lu sendiri.. sapa lagi nak caya lu beb! tapi takpe.. gua terus caya sama lu laaaa! lu paham tak apa gua cakap??? hur hur hur.

HAPPY POSITIVE MONDAY EVERYONE!!!! =D

about a battered soul & broken spirit

2009-08-19T11:56:00.006+08:00

words of comfort and a little care can go a long way for a broken soul. despite being at my lowest for reasons only i would know, support is something i need at this point. people hear, people say, but people don't know the real me. people want to know, but people won't do anything about it. cos people are just people to me.

so, if YOU are one of those people. then perhaps, this is a mistake.

listen and understand. not reprimand and stay silent for it's more hurtful that way.

i want to run, run far, escape from it all, yet i hold fast being careful where i step. tears come unbidden, unseen into the mask of silence i wear. wanting to escape from within the moans of pain i feel. torn, ripped apart tangled i am. the soul is broken only for now. as always i'll gather the strength to be stronger than what i was or have been. and continue proving to the world, i'm indeed worthy. with or without YOU.