When I was pregnant with Ashayr, I put on a total of 22kg. That is massive, on top of my already big built. To date, I have not lost that much. 10kg to go to my pre-pregnancy weight. Each day, I look into the mirror and stare at myself. Sometimes, I smile and sometimes I cry. I am not in the category of "overly huge", and I'm also not your definition of slim. My weight has been a yo-yo. Growing up, I have NEVER been slim/skinny/tiny. I'm always your chubby girl next door.
Today, as I was browsing through my news feed on FB, I came across this article. About a girl called Stella. Saw her picture, read her story and I cried. I can so relate to her. Her story is meant for all the big girls out there. That it's OK to be ourselves and that we shouldn't be disturbed by what the media portrays "perfect" to be. Stella, thank you for standing up for us plus sized girls. YOU are an inspiration.You can visit her blog, HERE.
Being plus sized all my life is NEVER easy. Being in the media makes it WORST because every other female I know is either skinny or starving themselves towards skinny. I'm not blessed with skinny genes like some females and I have to admit that it has been quite a struggle. To live up to people's expectations of being slim, just because I'm in the media industry. But then again, I am thankful for working in radio, because visual doesn't matter as much. As long as my voice is heard and I'm able to entertain my listeners, that is all that matters. But the pressure gets to me sometimes.. When you see your girlfriends losing weight, when people make so much noise because I've not shrunk since I gave birth, it gets to you. I have my moments cos I'm only human and not a supermodel.
In my teens, I was very much a tomboy. That was the only way for me to mask my low self-esteem. I was not the prettiest amongst my friends and being the "boy" in the gang made me stand out. Because I was different from them. I'm tired of people calling me fat. They just don't get it. I have NEVER been skinny to begin with and this "fat" label has always been with me. People can be very blunt sometimes and it hurts. If you're one of those insensitive skinny girls and reading this, please bear some thought before spurting out hurtful statements that can be damaging. If you're a plus sized girl, struggling with your self-image and esteem, let's work on our strengths, and work towards a healthier body.
I was the short and fat girl in primary school that was good friends with the boys and never admired by them.
I was the fat tomboy in secondary school that stood out because I was an entertainer and a good friend.
I was the fat teenager in poly that didn't get much attention except for my good voice and passion for school.
I was the girl, who struggled with self-image throughout my life, but managed to chase after my dreams.
I am the plus-sized radio DJ and TV news presenter today and thankful for it.
To all those who once called me "fat", thank you. It just made me stronger.