When I was pregnant with Ashayr, I put on a total of 22kg. That is massive, on top of my already big built. To date, I have not lost that much. 10kg to go to my pre-pregnancy weight. Each day, I look into the mirror and stare at myself. Sometimes, I smile and sometimes I cry. I am not in the category of "overly huge", and I'm also not your definition of slim. My weight has been a yo-yo. Growing up, I have NEVER been slim/skinny/tiny. I'm always your chubby girl next door.
Today, as I was browsing through my news feed on FB, I came across this article. About a girl called Stella. Saw her picture, read her story and I cried. I can so relate to her. Her story is meant for all the big girls out there. That it's OK to be ourselves and that we shouldn't be disturbed by what the media portrays "perfect" to be. Stella, thank you for standing up for us plus sized girls. YOU are an inspiration.You can visit her blog, HERE.
Being plus sized all my life is NEVER easy. Being in the media makes it WORST because every other female I know is either skinny or starving themselves towards skinny. I'm not blessed with skinny genes like some females and I have to admit that it has been quite a struggle. To live up to people's expectations of being slim, just because I'm in the media industry. But then again, I am thankful for working in radio, because visual doesn't matter as much. As long as my voice is heard and I'm able to entertain my listeners, that is all that matters. But the pressure gets to me sometimes.. When you see your girlfriends losing weight, when people make so much noise because I've not shrunk since I gave birth, it gets to you. I have my moments cos I'm only human and not a supermodel.
In my teens, I was very much a tomboy. That was the only way for me to mask my low self-esteem. I was not the prettiest amongst my friends and being the "boy" in the gang made me stand out. Because I was different from them. I'm tired of people calling me fat. They just don't get it. I have NEVER been skinny to begin with and this "fat" label has always been with me. People can be very blunt sometimes and it hurts. If you're one of those insensitive skinny girls and reading this, please bear some thought before spurting out hurtful statements that can be damaging. If you're a plus sized girl, struggling with your self-image and esteem, let's work on our strengths, and work towards a healthier body.
I was the short and fat girl in primary school that was good friends with the boys and never admired by them.
I was the fat tomboy in secondary school that stood out because I was an entertainer and a good friend.
I was the fat teenager in poly that didn't get much attention except for my good voice and passion for school.
I was the girl, who struggled with self-image throughout my life, but managed to chase after my dreams.
I am the plus-sized radio DJ and TV news presenter today and thankful for it.
To all those who once called me "fat", thank you. It just made me stronger.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Ashayr loves ELMO. I remember introducing Elmo to Ashayr via sesame street's videos on Youtube when he was 4 months old. He was very much intrigued by Elmo and his cuteness. Plus, the similar smiley-ness and bald head is uncanny! LOL.
So, we decided on having an Elmo themed birthday party for Ashayr. Mr. H and I went all over Singapore to search for Elmo related party stuff. It was madness but FUN! haha. I'm not so much a party planner, quite a novice I must say. But this experience is indeed unforgettable.
We managed to get an awesome birthday venue. ALOHA LOYANG! Thanks to my teacher cousin, Kak Mahana for securing the venue for us. Apparently, Singaporeans are so kiasu, that they wait at their computers at midnight and book it 3 months in advance! Being Singaporean (and quite kiasu), my cousin did it for us. I love the fact that it's so spacious and there's 4 big rooms for my relatives to chill in. Best sangat!
We started to decorate the place on Friday night. Thank you to my siblings-in-law who came down to rewang-rewang and also my aunties and cousins. Especially Haziqah and Hilmi!
I'd like to also thank Diyan from THE CARD MAISON who did Ashayr's invitation cards. She's so easy to work with and VERY efficient too! She delivered exactly what I wanted despite she short notice I gave her. Yes, i'm such a last minute person and she handled me really well. Thanks Diyan for the cute cards. I super love it! I have to say that this will be the first of many more partnerships to come. For those of you who are looking for someone to design your cards, she's the person to look for. Check out her designs, HERE! She also did the main banner for the cake cutting area. And that too was sooo last minute cos I couldn't find a high res pic of Ashayr to give her. But, she delivered it perfect! I wonder how you do it, but i love your creativity in designing. Thank you Diyan and THE CARD MAISON for the excellent job! :)
My sister-in-law, Nurul is ALWAYS camera ready! lol. :)
My awesome siblings-in-law who came down the night before to help out. :)
Atok Sa'ad and family who rewang-ed! :)
Next up, is Saiful Stewart from Fabulousity Party. He is a sweetheart, really. Such a nice, pleasant, kind, fun, efficient and amazing individual. He hosted the games for the party and also, assisted in further decorating the venue. My aunties and mother-in-law was impressed at how efficient he is! "Budak tu, buat kerja cepat eh! Dia potong cake, punya lah telatin." "Kau tengok dia buat design belon bunga tu, lawa!" "Bagus budak tu layan budak-budak!". Saiful, my aunties adore you.
Thank you for the wonderful decorations you added on. I know it was not part of the package, but you went all the way and did it for me. I'm truly touched by your special service and the extra mile you went for Ashayr's party. The kids LOVE you and you're just amazing around them. Haris was complimenting you and said, "That Abang Saiful is so fun. Next time, if we have a party, must call him again ok!" Insya'Allah, i will. I've never organised a real birthday party at such a scale and you are the first party host I've engaged and I'm impressed. I hope to work with you again because it's such a joy. Thanks FABULOUS SAIFUL!
The "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHAYR" was nicely done by Saiful.
The banner by THE CARD MAISON! Cantik kannnnnn!
Thank you my dear cousin, Haziqah for sponsoring this pretty cake!
My aunty made this! If you're looking for some homemade chocolate lollies, let me know and i'll hook you up with my aunty. Alternatively, you can add her on Facebook. Yes, my aunty is Nenek Canggih! Please add her Samodah Ahmad ok. She made those pretty chocolates below too!
My AMAZING SUPERWOMAN mother-in-law made the cute Elmo cupcakes and the blue & white cake above. Thank you Mak for the great effort. I know you're busy lecturing at school, but you managed to make these delicious cake and cupcakes for Ashayr. Thank you. Ashayr has the most amazing Nenek ever!
Saiful doing his party games hosting! Super kecoh but super fun! The kids really had a good time.
With the husband and fabulous Saiful!
My cousins!!!! Sorry I couldn't spend much time with you all. This whole "Mak Pengantin" job, is a tough one. I was running around entertaining guests and making sure that things are alright. Thank you for your presence. I truly appreciate it.
Cake cutting time with the kids!
My little family. :)
Part of the husband's side of the family.
Thank you Kak Izah and Abang Bakar for helping out with the BBQ and the necessary. "Orang Punggol" is the best la!
Sharinna, Shahid and family! Thank you for coming. Appreciate it lor!
Diah and the Nadyas. Thank you for coming and dressing up. You girls are the cutest. So prim and proper ALL the time. I wonder how you do it, Diah, but amazing job with the girls. You make me want to have mini-MEs!!! Then I can dress them up too!! Lol. :)
Dhafeer from the Malay Current Affairs team and family.
My best girlfriends who made an appearance. Thank you Sabby and Wawa for coming down. So sorry I couldn't layan you all. But really appreciate your presence. Anyway Sabby, my aunties said, "Sabrina tu kurus sangat, cengkung. Tak lawa. Kalau berisi sikit baru ok." So, yeah. I don't think you should do a skinny. Kalau tulang je, nak peluk apa babe? =P
Kak Rokiah, Haziqah(single and available), Kak Mahana and the bride-to-be, Wana. My beautiful female cousins. We are very close knit and they mean so much to me.
Ashayr's very smart and young Uncle Akmal!
Thank you Aidah, Shafiq, Azmia and Ami who came all the way from Bukit Panjang. You ladies have no idea how touched I was to see you. Terharu giler tau. These girls are my secondary school mates and I love them cos we go wayyyy back.
Rewang-ing for the BBQ. :)
After, maghrib, we had a mini Doa Selamat for Ashayr and the family. I love moments like these. It keeps the family tight as we show Allah how blessed and thankful we are for what we've got. Thank you, cousin, Ustaz Firdaus Khan for leading the majlis in prayers and thank you to those who stayed back for this. Semoga Allah merahmati kehidupan kita dan memberikan kita kelapangan dalam segala urusan. Amin.
Thank you for all of the wonderful gifts! WE LOVE IT! Penuh satu rumah. Ini satu tahun punya supply sey!! LOL. Dah tak payah masuk Toys R Us lagi. hahahaha! :)
To my beloved husband, Hisham - Thank you for doing this with me. I know it was madness but it was all worth it. Thank you for spending on Ashayr and having this memorable event. Thank you for being supportive and so kind to me cos I was very stubborn in decision making. I appreciate you giving in so much to my wants. You're the best la. I love you. Best friends forever! ;)
To Ibu - Thank you for saying yes to this event as assisting wherever mattered. I know you're not in the best of health but you did so much and went all the way, to make sure that everything went well for the party. Nona sayang Ibu sangat!
To Mak - Thank you for the cakes. Like I said, you're the best mother-in-law anyone can ever have. You did your best to produce the Elmo cupcakes. It completes the whole look at the cake table! Ashayr, Nona and Hisham sayangggg Mak!!
To Cik - Thank you for sponsoring the Elmo goodie bags for the kids and also helping us throughout the event. Ashayr is lucky to have an awesome Nenek like you!
To Mami Siti - Our head Chef! Yes, she's my aunty and she has amazing cooking skills. She prepared almost EVERYTHING that was on the food table. Your tulang was super delicious. Your sambal telur and sotong was also sedap nak mampos that some even wanted to takeaway. Thank you for volunteering to assist me with preparing the awesome food spread. You're the best la! The coolest Aunty I have. Thank you Mami!!!!
To Mak Leen - The chocolate lollies and home made chocolates and so pretty! I know it's alot of hard work to produce those beauties, so THANK YOU.
To my cousins, both Hisham's side and mine, thank YOU for making this event possible. We appreciate all the help that you've put it to celebrate our son's first birthday.
It was a simple yet beautiful affair. Our firstborn is ONE. Alhamdulillah. :)
To those who made the effort to come, we appreciate your presence. To everyone, thank YOU for your kind prayers, well wishes, gifts and contributions. May Allah repay your kindness. Insya'Allah.
at 9:42 PM
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
My firstborn is turning one in 2 days time. I am very much nervous and excited about his party on Saturday. It'll be a first for me and Hisham, to be the hosts for an event. I hope it goes well...
Thank you The Card Maison for designing his birthday invitation cards. It's so cute! I love it!
To those who are coming, we shall see you on Saturday!
It's going to be a small but meaningful affair, Insya'Allah. Just family and close friends.
I can't believe my baby is turning ONE! :)
at 6:59 PM