Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Enough is ENOUGH.

Ok. My previous entry sounded so negative. Well, I'm over it. Enough of crying and weeping. In fact, i walked out of the drama even stronger. The thing about me is that i cry to let go of my feelings, especially pain and disappointment. I am terrible at sharing my problems. Crying is my coping mechanism. However, I have made a promise to myself that I will not cry for too long. Instead, I looked out for solutions and way out to handle the problem better. Unfortunately, my life is not all airy fairy like some people. Spoke to the husband about this before, that just because I am someone known to the public, it means I need to have a "perfect" life and be seen as ideal in the eyes of many. I'm just not like that. I don't like to "pretend" that my life is alright. I have my moments. It's just that I choose not to dish it out publicly, nor portray rainbows in my life.

You see, people judge ALL the time. I am over that. I used to care so much about it but not anymore. As long as my loved ones are aware of my situation and they are fine with my actions and reasons, that is all that matters. At the end of the day, let's leave judging to God because He is greater at it. And that is something I've learnt as I grow older. I don't judge as much as i used to when i was younger. I see people as they are. If I feel that they are not a good influence to me, I'll just walk away. And I try my best to surround myself with positive individuals. People who pull you up when you fall. Not people who step on you and laugh at your mishaps. Just walk away.

A friend once emailed me a long email, about feeling sad when she looks at her friends doing so well, based on what she sees in Facebook. hey, FB is EVIL. You see your friends go on fancy holidays, you get depressed. You see your friend's husband buying her a branded handbag and she shows it off on fb, and you get depressed. You see your friend is newly attached to a good looking guy, you get depressed. Then, what's the point of looking? I have to admit that i faced such emotions at times. When we see people doing better off than us, it brings us a little lower. Don't you? Well, I'm over it. I choose to just look and not judge. You might see the happy and beautiful things, but you don't see the dirt and dust that's under the carpet. What you see on social media can be very superficial and damaging. We must all learn to appreciate what we have before we can be truly happy for others.

And so, enough is enough. I made a promise to be truly happy for my friends when I see them better off. Because God is fair and He gives us what we deserve. Despite my imperfect life, I am thankful for a husband that loves and adores me, I am thankful for amazing sons, I am thankful for a job that I love, I am thankful for a sideline business that has exposed me to so many inspiring individuals, I am thankful for being healthy and I am thankful because God gave me this life to live the best way that I can.

Oprah said ~ Be thankful for what you have. You'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never ever have enough."

Seriously, life is too short to let the little things upset you. Plus, it's so much easier to be happy than to be all depressed. I'm tired of negativity. I'm tired of feeling down. I need to get up and continue fighting. Greater things await. Insya'Allah... May we all find the strength to say, "Enough is ENOUGH. I shall smile and move on."

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Battles deep within...

Sometimes, when times are bad and you're facing a million challenges, all you need is to hold on to the reasons to why you're fighting this battle. These reasons are your strengths that keeps you alive.

Ramadan and Syawal has been a very challenging period for so many reasons that only I will know. However, I will have to go through all these and stay afloat, like I always do.

I need to find that courage deep within yet again and make this work.

Stay strong, dear heart.