Tuesday, May 8, 2012

hoping for that wonderful something

I don't know about you. But there are moments in my life, when I'm jaded. Like what am I doing on this earth? Do I have to put up with such routine in my life? Why is my life so monotonous and mundane? Well, I question myself at times. But then again, there are the moments I wake up and say, it's going to be a beautiful day. And I hold on to that secret hope that something wonderful will happen.

I'm growing older each day and so are the people I love and adore. Health above money is of utmost important at this point. When I fell sick with flu, cough & fever a week ago, I felt helpless. I was so weak that all I wanted to do was lie down in bed and not do anything. Then again, lying down too much made me feel miserable. I will tell myself to get up, snap out of it and move on, pretend that I'm alright, even though I'm so sick.

Being miserable is so much easier to carry out as compared to being happy. Agree? It's quite brainless to keep pointing fingers at others and blame everything else on this earth (but yourself) for the misery that you're going through. When I'm sad, I cry. It makes me feel a little better. Then, I talk to God. At least HE is willing to listen. I cry and ask him, WHY ME? Till today, He has yet to reply. But I'll figure it out someday.

The husband said this to me, "You're a public figure. People think you're doing so well. It's ok. Take it as a responsibility." I dislike the term "celebrity". Seriously. I'm just as normal as you are. It's because of the work that I do, people recognise me. And for that, I'm thankful. Other than that, I'm still your regular 28 year old working mother, who gets tired of the routine sometimes and goes through moments of struggle just to put everything together.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Unfortunately, that is how most of us perceive things. We need to learn how to appreciate and make do with the grass on our side, and that takes skill and effort. Do not envy those who are doing better off than you, in fact, question yourself to what is it that you are doing wrong, that disallow you to be as successful or better off than them. Hatred and vengeance gets you nowhere, trust me.

Today, I'm feeling a little miserable. But it's ok. Because I know God will never disown me for as long as I have faith in him. Tomorrow, i shall wake up and continue hoping that some miracle will happen. Tomorrow shall be a better day than today. Tomorrow, I shall continue hoping that something wonderful will happen. Amin.

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