Tuesday, May 15, 2012

about a mother's love

Mother's Day was different this year. I am a mother, for real. Ashayr is now 7 months old. He is indeed the best gift ever. He has taught me how to give without expecting anything in return. Growing up in a broken family since I was a baby, meant that I didn't quite enjoy the real love of a mother and father. I grew up with my aunt whom I address as Ibu. She was everything to me. She worked hard, single handedly to take care of my siblings and I. She got married when I was 4 and instantly, I got a father. However, his life was short lived and he passed away when I was 12, about 2 months before my PSLE. That was tough.

My life has been pretty much complicated ever since. My family is no where near perfect. But we survived. It was tough growing up, but we learn to value money and life even more. I had to work hard for the things I wanted. My Ibu worked a 12 hour shift as a factory operator. Her salary was measly but she brought us up with whatever amount she made each month. We survived as a family.

You see, my Ibu is the tough love sort. She will NEVER express her love for me verbally but would show it through her actions, like cooking my favourite food. She went through a tough life herself and that explains her grumpy character. But I know deep in her heart, I was her favourite. I know she loves me.

Being a mother is not just about giving birth to a human being, but caring and loving that soul with all that your heart can give. Haris came into my life when he was 6 months old. My sister got divorced and I decided to take him in, as my own. It was a cycle all over again. I grew up with my aunt, and Haris is doing so with me. I made a promise to love him like my own. I made a promise to never mistreat him. He has been a blessing and brought so much sunshine into my life. When i decided to take him in, I remember so many making cynical remarks. I shoved those negativities aside, because deep in my heart I knew I couldn't forsake him. He loves me unconditionally and I know that.

I hope that Ashayr will grow up just the same. As loving and caring as his elder brother. Because at the end of the day, I do not expect anything but love from these boys. We reap what we sow and I shall shower these boys with all the love that I can give, unconditionally. Motherhood is life changing.

To Ibu,
The day you decided to take care of my siblings and I, was the day that changed your life. You've sacrificed so much just to put us through school and to make sure there was rice on the table. You taught me to fight and survive. Eventhough you've never said you love me, I know that deep in your heart, you do. Thank you for being such a strong woman. Thank you for all that you've sacrificed so that I could be what I am today. I am what I am because of your support. You've never said no to my crazy dreams and you've supported me in whatever that I set my heart out for. You are the reason to how far I've come today. Ibu, I love you and I promise to take care of you till your last breath...

To Haris & Ashayr,
Thank you for being such amazing sons. You are the reason why I wake up each day with a smile. My life will be dedicated to you, I promise. Against all odds, I will do my best to make sure your grow up to be great individuals, Insya'Allah. I love you, my sons.

Alhamdulillah. I am blessed with what is called Motherhood. I shall take on this role with pride and will continue to do my best to be an awesome mother. One that you boys will be very proud of.

To all Mothers, may our love and sacrifice be reciprocated and appreciated someday.... Insya'Allah.


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