Monday, December 17, 2012


Just a quick update on Anugerah Planet Muzik! A prestigious collaboration by WARNA & RIA. This year I was tasked to update the APM2012 twitter and also as an Artiste Liaison Officer. As I'm busy running around all over the place, I didn't carry a camera with me and snapped pics with my trusty iPhone. Haha.

An awesome awards ceremony it was and I'm so glad be part of it. Macam such an honor gitu! Even though my role was minute, but I feel that it's a team effort and we did it! SYABAS to the radio team and also to everyone who were part of it!

Andddd... I made my husband jealous cos I managed to snap a pic with his SUPER FAVOURITE COMEDIAN/ACTOR/HOST.. Zizannnnn!! Woohoo!! Lol. :)

Ok ok. Here goes some pics!


Over the weekend, after the whole "anonymous" saga, I received this email from a young lady called Rose. It's followers like her is the reason why I blog, share my experiences and thoughts. Rose, thank you for the sincere email. Keep going after your dreams no matter how big or small they are. Allah is GREAT and HE will NEVER forsake us. I wish you all the best in life and do keep in touch ok. :)

This is just one of the many occasional emails I receive from total strangers. But the best thing about it is that each one of those who wrote to me can relate to my life story, my struggles and my journey. I blog because I want to stay real. I don't want to just paint daisies and roses, but also show the thorns amidst the beauty. That's life. Mine has never been perfect but it's the imperfection that makes it uniquely mine. 

You see and read many stories of success, but what you DON'T see is the struggle, tears and pain behind what goes through achieving those dreams. There are not short cuts to being successful. 

Speaking of success, I am nowhere near. I've got many more unfulfilled dreams that i'll continue chasing and I've still got many more milestones in history to create. Whenever I see my contemporaries doing well in life, I feel happy for them and I get inspired to be as great as them. There are reasons why there are chosen and living that desired path. God is fair and HE gives us what we deserve. So rather than going around all green-eyed to why some people are successful, doing well and you're not, let's focus back on ourselves, re-work our attitudes and go for the goal. 

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great ones make you feel that you too can become great. 

~ Mark Twain ~

If you want to be great, surround yourself with great individuals and fill your thoughts, heart and mind with greatness. Have faith, pray and In Shaa Allah, good things will come without you even realizing it. Meanwhile, let's continue to count our blessings and look forward to greater things! 

Have a good week ahead my dear readers! :)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Dear Anonymous...

With a million lovers, there will be a dozen haters. It's really ok. No words can bring me down because I've weathered & survived many storms greater than this.

Thank you to those who share my joy. It's people like you that makes this world a better and kinder place.

I'm truly touched by your comments and support. Let's continue doing good to others. Sentiasa bersangka & berlaku baik. Semoga Allah akan sentiasa melindungi kita dan orang-orang yang kita sayang. Cos HE gives us what we deserve. May Allah bless you kind souls. Amin.

Dear Anonymous, I really have no space in my heart for anger because I don't believe in vengeance. It eats you up inside. So, I wish you well my dear. Good luck & may Allah bless you and your family. Amin. :)

Friday, December 7, 2012

The "BIG PROJECT" Revealed! :)

Some of your might have already read my tweets and seen my instagram pictures... Therefore, I shall officially reveal that the "BIG PROJECT" that I've been talking about on my blog is indeed our NEW HOUSE!

With Allah's grace, the husband and I managed to get our very own place in the east. This rare opportunity came as a surprise and we grabbed it because of the price and space of the unit. It's a Maisonette. A dream come true for now. Ma Shaa Allah. :)

At first, I was apprehensive about sharing it. You know when people say, "Dengar-dengar, dah dapat rumah eh?" And the next question would be.. "Rumah apa? 5 bilik eh?" So, how do you reply to that? Be honest I suppose. My mother has always thought me to be humble and not show off what we have in public. Therefore, I hope that my readers and followers will not see this as "showing off" but rather as an inspiration. Why? Let me tell you a story.

I grew up in a broken family. My parents were divorced when I was 2. My siblings and I were taken care of by my aunt (whom I refer to as my mother and Ibu) and my beloved late grandmother. Life was very simple. We were poor and lived in a 3 room flat with a small living room and 2 tiny bedrooms. BUT, we were happy with what we had. My grandmother taught me good values in life. To always be thankful for what we have and to thank ALLAH for all the blessings that he has given us.

Growing up, I've NEVER had a room of my own. Cos I had to share it with my siblings and grandmother. When my brother got older, his "room" is the living room. We had a mattress and he took it out to the living room and sleep every night. That was just the routine and we're used to it.

When I was a teenager, I've always envied friends who had their own room. Pretty rooms that were well furnished. Most of my friends are well-off and they stayed in beautiful houses. Unlike me. Bersyukur, and that's what I did.

I told myself that one day, I'll work hard. Make lots of money. Buy a spacious and big house for my family to live in. So that we all can have our own rooms. At the age of 28, that dream finally became a reality for the husband and I. It hasn't been easy but with Allah's amazing grace, we managed to get the house that is able to change our lives FOREVER. So I spent 16 years in  Queen's Close, 12 years in Bedok and many more memorable years to look forward to in Tampines! In Shaa Allah!

The Bedok flat has a very sentimental place in my heart. I got emotional and broke down on the day when we were moving out to our temporary place. I spent my late-teens there. Started my radio and tv newscaster job there. Lost my father and grandmother. Got engaged, married and gave birth to my firstborn, all at Bedok, that tiny 3 room flat that saw me grow up from a girl to a woman.

Cried buckets while hugging the Mami from level 3. She was the first neighbour that was so kind to us. She said, "Nona pindah sini bila Nona masih sekolah lagi.. Bila arwah Nenek masih ada.. Sekarang Nona dah kerja bagus, ramai orang kenal.. Nona baik-baik jaga diri kat rumah baru ye.. Bila senang, datanglah jumpa Mami dan Mamu.." I cried.

From a NOBODY, to a "somebody". That Bedok flat saw me through  so many ups and downs. :(

Farewell Bedok. It has been bittersweet, really. Thank you for housing all those memories. It's now time for my family to move on to something greater...

So, HELLO Tampines. May this wonderful house be filled with love and joy. The husband and I finally, have a place to continue building our little empire of happy souls. 

The renovation has started. Hisham and I are very practical people. We are not splurging to revamp the house as we will be spending within our means. It's our first property anyway, so it shall be simple and basic reno works. Nope, we did not engage any interior design company to do up our house because their prices are a killer for a maisonette. So, the husband, being the financial planner that he is, did an AMAZING job, in sourcing out for contractors, tiles suppliers and carpentry experts to do up our house. EVERYTHING in the house is ala carte. ;)

We are really hands on for the renovation that I think we should seriously call ourselves the Project Managers. Lol. He is into numbers and budget, while I'm into the creative side of things. Sometimes we argue over little things like, a specific tile that I LOVE but wayyy beyond our budget. So, I had to compromise for a cheaper alternative to fit our budget. I think we work very well as a team. I joked and told him that we can set up our own renovation company once all of this is done. SERIOUSLY. haha.

Renovation is ongoing and it's been fun so far. Can't wait to see the final product once everything is done.

There you have it. My "BIG PROJECT". Will blog in detail about the whole renovation process and share my experience for those who are on a tight budget to renovate their new flats.

When people ask, "Wah.. ni mesti renovate besar-besaran.. Mesti banyak sponsor kan?" 

I smile.. and say.. "Tak, Cik.. Nona dan Hisham budget-budget je. Ikut kemampuan. Takde yang sponsor pun. Semuanya kita bayar sendiri. Kenapa? Cik nak sponsor ke?" Makcik terus senyap. How like that? Heh. 

Sponsor atau tidak, semua ni rezeki masing-masing. Tak perlu lah kita nak persoalkan. Kalau ada yang nak sponsor, Alhamdulillah, itu rezeki dari Allah, kalau tidak, bersyukur dengan segala kemampuan yang ada. 

This house itself, is already a blessing and our rezeki.

For that, the husband and I are very thankful.

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. :)

Thursday, November 22, 2012

My Angel :)

Ashayr brings soo much joy to the family. As a mother, I am proud to see him grow into a confident, brave and chatty toddler. At 13 months, he is now able to "read" picture books, recognize names and faces, calls out "Baaah!" each time he sees a BUS! lol, makes lions noises when he sees a picture of a lion and many more. He calls me Mama occasionally when he feels like it, but he is always going "Abah" here and "Abah" there. Yes. Budak ni anak bapak. haha.

He is Ashayr when he was learning how to walk at 12 months and 2 weeks.

Terkedek-kedek Cik Abang ni. haha.

And here he is, trying to read. Konon engrossed in the book but got distracted lah tu.

Each day, he exposes a new trick up his sleeves.

 This boy is full of surprises and i'm thankful to be blessed with this God-sent angel. :)

ok tu je.

Will reveal "MY BIG PROJECT" in my next post. Insya'Allah.

I'm soooo excited and I just can't hide it any longerrrr!! :D

Thursday, November 15, 2012

My Orange Notebook

You know how sometimes there are some things in life that you wish to shout out about but you have to hold yourself back due to circumstances. Yup. Am having one of those. And no, i'm not pregnant (yet). LOL!

They say, when something bad or unfortunate happens, it means that God is preparing you for something greater. Maybe it's true. In life, we come across many different people from all walks of life, be it our own blood or otherwise. I believe that these people are puppets around you, influencing your thoughts, actions, perceptions and defining moments in your life. It doesn't matter what is it that they do to you. What's more important is how YOU react to them. It has not been easy for me, to deal with highly opinionated and stubborn individuals, BUT I take it as a challenge. If I can handle them and get through these challenging times, then I can face anything that comes along.

When I was 17, I was quite a depressed teen. However, I tend to mask my feelings with that "sunshine" persona. Recently, while cleaning up my room, I came across an old orange notebook. It was a little diary I used to carry along in my bag. I wrote my deepest thoughts and feelings in it.

I cried while reading it. Felt so melancholic cos I could feel the exact emotions I had when I was writing that very entry. There I was, a clueless 17 year old at the crossroads of my life. A girl who didn't knew where she was heading and what she was going to do with her life. Written on 29 November, 2001, it documented one of the lowest moments in my life. Let me share with you this very personal diary entry...

"Don't take life for granted" is one of the many clich├ęd lines about life that one might say. I personally agree to this infamous quote. My life of 17 years has been a rather difficult one. Sometimes there were the ups and down but I think that mine was much more of a downhill.

Being a teenager is a period that all of us have to go through and during this period of of growing phase, we go through many changes in life and have to make all the the important decisions that might lead to what we are going to be one day. Decision making is definitely not easy and so far, I have many "wrong" decisions that I sometimes quite regret. Confusion is a disease that all of us face. Deciding between a few options or choices is really mind boggling, as often these decisions might lead to the outcome of our emotional and physical self.

If you have made a good decision, you'd probably end up happy and contented with what you opted for. But if what you choose is something that you will end up regretting, only then you would blame yourself for not being careful and thinking twice before pushing the decision button. Right now, I'm all so confused about my life. I do not know where my direction is right now and it feels as if I'm flying around in the middle of nowhere. 

Somehow, I was never contented with what I have. I keep looking for the meaning of life but my quest for the answer has yet to be found. I feel so directionless, confused and uncertain of what lies ahead. Maybe it's due to my fickleness, a sickness that has been haunting me since I was a kid. I keep listening to too many people and I would often change my mind about something after hearing their opinions.

I'm still searching for what I want in my life. Often, I would say happiness. But I realise that is not the only thing that I would want to own. I might only be 17 but life has not been so nice to me. I dropped out of school because I lost interest in what I was doing. I joined FSV in NP just because I couldn't get into Mass Comm due to my silly English grade. I wasted so many months just waiting to start school and in the end, I just got tired of the too technical nature of the course. 

I know that I've always wanted to be a public figure, maybe a radio DJ, a newscaster or even a successful businesswoman with a high profile. I just want to be recognized by society one day. But the problem is, I don't know how the hell am I supposed to get there..

People say that in life, we tend to make mistakes and we learn from it. But, I'm too tired of making the same mistakes over and over again. I wonder why life is unfair but I know there'd be no answer to that question. I just pray and hope that there would be a rainbow waiting for me after the storm. My patience is running out and I'm afraid that I might just break out one day and turn into a mad cap. 

For now I'm just taking one day at a time, thinking through about many more decision making that lies ahead of me. Education wise, love life, marriage, my ever changing career path and my conquest to eternal happiness. Maybe there is a moral to all that has been happening in my life since the day I was born. Why do I get to lead such a life? Why don't I get to live with my parents? Why am I so confused and fickle? Why am I always searching for happiness? Why do I make wrong moves in my life? Why? Why? Why?

Maybe one day, all these questions that have been bugging me would finally be answered one fine day... Maybe there is a happy ending to my so called life..."


That was a very emo entry for a 17 year old. Looking back, I did went through alot to get to where I am today. I got what I prayed for. A job that I love. A loving husband. A beautiful son. A little empire of happy souls. A life that I wished for when I was 17. Masya'Allah. God is great. However, the journey is still ongoing and today I'm faced with even greater challenges. The difference is, I am even more ready to face it, with a more positive outlook. 

If you're 17 and reading this, maybe you can relate to my entry. It's ok to feel lost and down about what you're going through. Because that's just how life is. I was 17 and CLUELESS about my life. Continue to have faith in your dreams because that is all that matters. If you believe strongly in something that you want to achieve badly, then you will, INSYA'ALLAH. 

I'm now 28, with even bigger dreams and hopes. I will continue to pen those dreams down in my little notebook and perhaps, 10 years down the road, all that I wished for today will be a reality. Insya'Allah. 

Have faith my friends. Have faith.

For Allah is GREAT and He will NEVER forsake us and our dreams. :)

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

One for the "BIG" girls! :)

When I was pregnant with Ashayr, I put on a total of 22kg. That is massive, on top of my already big built. To date, I have not lost that much. 10kg to go to my pre-pregnancy weight. Each day, I look into the mirror and stare at myself. Sometimes, I smile and sometimes I cry. I am not in the category of "overly huge", and I'm also not your definition of slim. My weight has been a yo-yo. Growing up, I have NEVER been slim/skinny/tiny. I'm always your chubby girl next door.

Today, as I was browsing through my news feed on FB, I came across this article. About a girl called Stella. Saw her picture, read her story and I cried. I can so relate to her. Her story is meant for all the big girls out there. That it's OK to be ourselves and that we shouldn't be disturbed by what the media portrays "perfect" to be. Stella, thank you for standing up for us plus sized girls. YOU are an inspiration.You can visit her blog, HERE.

Being plus sized all my life is NEVER easy. Being in the media makes it WORST because every other female I know is either skinny or starving themselves towards skinny. I'm not blessed with skinny genes like some females and I have to admit that it has been quite a struggle. To live up to people's expectations of being slim, just because I'm in the media industry. But then again, I am thankful for working in radio, because visual doesn't matter as much. As long as my voice is heard and I'm able to entertain my listeners, that is all that matters. But the pressure gets to me sometimes.. When you see your girlfriends losing weight, when people make so much noise because I've not shrunk since I gave birth, it gets to you. I have my moments cos I'm only human and not a supermodel.

In my teens, I was very much a tomboy. That was the only way for me to mask my low self-esteem. I was not the prettiest amongst my friends and being the "boy" in the gang made me stand out. Because I was different from them. I'm tired of people calling me fat. They just don't get it. I have NEVER been skinny to begin with and this "fat" label has always been with me. People can be very blunt sometimes and it hurts. If you're one of those insensitive skinny girls and reading this, please bear some thought before spurting out hurtful statements that can be damaging. If you're a plus sized girl, struggling with your self-image and esteem, let's work on our strengths, and work towards a healthier body.

I was the short and fat girl in primary school that was good friends with the boys and never admired by them.

I was the fat tomboy in secondary school that stood out because I was an entertainer and a good friend.

I was the fat teenager in poly that didn't get much attention except for my good voice and passion for school.

I was the girl, who struggled with self-image throughout my life, but managed to chase after my dreams.

I am the plus-sized radio DJ and TV news presenter today and thankful for it.

To all those who once called me "fat", thank you. It just made me stronger.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

ELMO & Ashayr!

Ashayr loves ELMO. I remember introducing Elmo to Ashayr via sesame street's videos on Youtube when he was 4 months old. He was very much intrigued by Elmo and his cuteness. Plus, the similar smiley-ness and bald head is uncanny! LOL. 

So, we decided on having an Elmo themed birthday party for Ashayr. Mr. H and I went all over Singapore to search for Elmo related party stuff. It was madness but FUN! haha. I'm not so much a party planner, quite a novice I must say. But this experience is indeed unforgettable. 

We managed to get an awesome birthday venue. ALOHA LOYANG! Thanks to my teacher cousin, Kak Mahana for securing the venue for us. Apparently, Singaporeans are so kiasu, that they wait at their computers at midnight and book it 3 months in advance! Being Singaporean (and quite kiasu), my cousin did it for us. I love the fact that it's so spacious and there's 4 big rooms for my relatives to chill in. Best sangat! 

We started to decorate the place on Friday night. Thank you to my siblings-in-law who came down to rewang-rewang and also my aunties and cousins. Especially Haziqah and Hilmi! 

I'd like to also thank Diyan from THE CARD MAISON who did Ashayr's invitation cards. She's so easy to work with and VERY efficient too! She delivered exactly what I wanted despite she short notice I gave her. Yes, i'm such a last minute person and she handled me really well. Thanks Diyan for the cute cards. I super love it! I have to say that this will be the first of many more partnerships to come. For those of you who are looking for someone to design your cards, she's the person to look for. Check out her designs, HERE!  She also did the main banner for the cake cutting area. And that too was sooo last minute cos I couldn't find a high res pic of Ashayr to give her. But, she delivered it perfect! I wonder how you do it, but i love your creativity in designing. Thank you Diyan and THE CARD MAISON for the excellent job! :)

My sister-in-law, Nurul is ALWAYS camera ready! lol. :)

The "pengantin"

My awesome siblings-in-law who came down the night before to help out. :)

Atok Sa'ad and family who rewang-ed! :)

Next up, is Saiful Stewart from Fabulousity Party. He is a sweetheart, really. Such a nice, pleasant, kind, fun, efficient and amazing individual. He hosted the games for the party and also, assisted in further decorating the venue. My aunties and mother-in-law was impressed at how efficient he is! "Budak tu, buat kerja cepat eh! Dia potong cake, punya lah telatin." "Kau tengok dia buat design belon bunga tu, lawa!" "Bagus budak tu layan budak-budak!". Saiful, my aunties adore you. 

Thank you for the wonderful decorations you added on. I know it was not part of the package, but you went all the way and did it for me. I'm truly touched by your special service and the extra mile you went for Ashayr's party. The kids LOVE you and you're just amazing around them. Haris was complimenting you and said, "That Abang Saiful is so fun. Next time, if we have a party, must call him again ok!" Insya'Allah, i will. I've never organised a real birthday party at such a scale and you are the first party host I've engaged and I'm impressed. I hope to work with you again because it's such a joy. Thanks FABULOUS SAIFUL! 

The "HAPPY BIRTHDAY ASHAYR" was nicely done by Saiful. 

The banner by THE CARD MAISON! Cantik kannnnnn!

Thank you my dear cousin, Haziqah for sponsoring this pretty cake! 

My aunty made this! If you're looking for some homemade chocolate lollies, let me know and i'll hook you up with my aunty. Alternatively, you can add her on Facebook. Yes, my aunty is Nenek Canggih! Please add her Samodah Ahmad ok. She made those pretty chocolates below too! 

My AMAZING SUPERWOMAN mother-in-law made the cute Elmo cupcakes and the blue & white cake above. Thank you Mak for the great effort. I know you're busy lecturing at school, but you managed to make these delicious cake and cupcakes for Ashayr. Thank you. Ashayr has the most amazing Nenek ever! 

Saiful doing his party games hosting! Super kecoh but super fun! The kids really had a good time. 

With the husband and fabulous Saiful! 

My cousins!!!! Sorry I couldn't spend much time with you all. This whole "Mak Pengantin" job, is a tough one. I was running around entertaining guests and making sure that things are alright. Thank you for your presence. I truly appreciate it. 

Cake cutting time with the kids! 

My little family. :)

Part of the husband's side of the family. 

Thank you Kak Izah and Abang Bakar for helping out with the BBQ and the necessary. "Orang Punggol" is the best la! 

Sharinna, Shahid and family! Thank you for coming. Appreciate it lor! 

Diah and the Nadyas. Thank you for coming and dressing up. You girls are the cutest. So prim and proper ALL the time. I wonder how you do it, Diah, but amazing job with the girls. You make me want to have mini-MEs!!! Then I can dress them up too!! Lol. :)

Dhafeer from the Malay Current Affairs team and family.  

My best girlfriends who made an appearance. Thank you Sabby and Wawa for coming down. So sorry I couldn't layan you all. But really appreciate your presence. Anyway Sabby, my aunties said, "Sabrina tu kurus sangat, cengkung. Tak lawa. Kalau berisi sikit baru ok." So, yeah. I don't think you should do a skinny. Kalau tulang je, nak peluk apa babe? =P

Kak Rokiah, Haziqah(single and available), Kak Mahana and the bride-to-be, Wana. My beautiful female cousins. We are very close knit and they mean so much to me. 

Ashayr's Moyang! 

Ashayr's very smart and young Uncle Akmal! 

Thank you Aidah, Shafiq, Azmia and Ami who came all the way from Bukit Panjang. You ladies have no idea how touched I was to see you. Terharu giler tau. These girls are my secondary school mates and I love them cos we go wayyyy back. 

Rewang-ing for the BBQ. :)

After, maghrib, we had a mini Doa Selamat for Ashayr and the family. I love moments like these. It keeps the family tight as we show Allah how blessed and thankful we are for what we've got. Thank you, cousin, Ustaz Firdaus Khan for leading the majlis in prayers and thank you to those who stayed back for this. Semoga Allah merahmati kehidupan kita dan memberikan kita kelapangan dalam segala urusan. Amin. 

Thank you for all of the wonderful gifts! WE LOVE IT! Penuh satu rumah. Ini satu tahun punya supply sey!! LOL. Dah tak payah masuk Toys R Us lagi. hahahaha! :)

 Alhamdulillah, the birthday party went really well.

To my beloved husband, Hisham - Thank you for doing this with me. I know it was madness but it was all worth it. Thank you for spending on Ashayr and having this memorable event. Thank you for being supportive and so kind to me cos I was very stubborn in decision making. I appreciate you giving in so much to my wants. You're the best la. I love you. Best friends forever! ;)

To Ibu - Thank you for saying yes to this event as assisting wherever mattered. I know you're not in the best of health but you did so much and went all the way, to make sure that everything went well for the party. Nona sayang Ibu sangat!

To Mak - Thank you for the cakes. Like I said, you're the best mother-in-law anyone can ever have. You did your best to produce the Elmo cupcakes. It completes the whole look at the cake table! Ashayr, Nona and Hisham sayangggg Mak!!

To Cik - Thank you for sponsoring the Elmo goodie bags for the kids and also helping us throughout the event. Ashayr is lucky to have an awesome Nenek like you!

To Mami Siti - Our head Chef! Yes, she's my aunty and she has amazing cooking skills. She prepared almost EVERYTHING that was on the food table. Your tulang was super delicious. Your sambal telur and sotong was also sedap nak mampos that some even wanted to takeaway. Thank you for volunteering to assist me with preparing the awesome food spread. You're the best la! The coolest Aunty I have. Thank you Mami!!!!

To Mak Leen - The chocolate lollies and home made chocolates and so pretty! I know it's alot of hard work to produce those beauties, so THANK YOU.

To my cousins, both Hisham's side and mine, thank YOU for making this event possible. We appreciate all the help that you've put it to celebrate our son's first birthday.

It was a simple yet beautiful affair. Our firstborn is ONE. Alhamdulillah. :)

To those who made the effort to come, we appreciate your presence. To everyone, thank YOU for your kind prayers, well wishes, gifts and contributions. May Allah repay your kindness. Insya'Allah.