Tuesday, August 16, 2011

am i good enough?

"Faith and doubt go hand-in-hand, they are complementaries. One who never doubts will never truly believe" - Hermann Hesse, German-Swiss poet, novelist, and painter

have you ever had self-doubt & faith and the same time? it's hard to explain but it's like doubting your abilities and capabilities, as well as having faith, just knowing you're good enough for something bigger.

self-doubt is present in everyone. socially, emotionally, spiritually, behaviorally, and financially. self-doubt occurs when we believe that a future action will not bring a desirable outcome, that it won't bring the right result, or may make us feel foolish, threatened or judged. if we assume these thoughts and outcome predictions as being real and allow them to command our actions, they disable us and prevent us from doing something that we otherwise would like to do or feel driven to achieve.

i'm often faced with many personal battles. my hearts says i'm amazing but my brain tells me otherwise. i challenge my thoughts and at the end of the day, it boils down to how i manage this self-doubt. what i've learnt is never to underestimate my own abilities. listen to your inner voice and just know that bigger things await. i do admit that there are times where i would feel threatened or intimidated whenever i see someone else doing better than me. i'm not jealous but would rather question myself. as to where do i stand if placed besides these successful individuals.

after much analysing, i know that i'm doubting myself too much. i can never be these people but i can only be the best ME that i can ever be. self-doubt is a thought, and we can control our thoughts! so what is preventing us from changing that thought, or being aware of it then disarming it, or at least taking action in the opposite direction to what it is telling us?

so let's change our thoughts and put aside self-doubt because faith keeps us strong in pursuing our goals and dreams. just believe that we are all meant for something bigger. that God created us for a purpose. insya'allah, things will fall into place and makes more sense....

at this point, there are moments when i doubt my ability to cope with this last trimester. my previous two trimesters have been amazingly great and suddenly, i now have to learn how to cope with the changing body image which can be emotionally challenging... but i know that i will get through this. i need to learn how to love this new body shape of mine. i know it will all go away after labour if i continue putting in effort to live a healthy lifestyle.. insya'allah..

go away you self-doubt! shoo!

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