you know how sometimes you have a million things to say but you just can't find the right time to pen your thoughts down in words. yup, i have lots of those moments. despite being married for over 2 months, i'm still adapting to the new status. =)
anyway, i was just reading the feature articles on straits times about last year's a level students and their results. some of their human strikes felt so close to me and i actually teared while reading them even though i didnt know who they were.
for example, the twin, derek and daren tan from hwa chong junior college. their father works as a security guard and their mother a cleaner. i'm sure they didnt live a life of luxury but they excelled so well in school and made their parents proud. i grew up in a poor family and luxury was not in our vocabulary. i had to struggle to get into a good school and was up against even smarter girls in secondary school. but, i told myself that i'm not going to let my background hinder my hunger for education. i enjoyed studying and did quite ok in the o levels. was supposed to go to JC but i chose the poly route. gave tuition and enrichment classes when i was in poly so that i could support myself and pay for my education needs. i grew up tough. i knew how difficult it was to get money...
now, that i'm older and capable of supporting myself and my family, i ponder about what kind of parent am i to Haris and my future children. i love Haris. he is such an amazing boy. he never fails to do his best to please me . but, now that i'm able to provide him with material things, it struck me that i should pull back a little and not shower him with so much material wealth. however, to begin with he is not the sort to ask me for things.
Haris will turn 7 years old on 7 march. for now, i can't afford him a lavish birthday party. so it's going to be just a small family dinner. when i asked him where does he want to have his birthday dinner at.. his reply was.. "anywhere as long as you like it, mama. you pick your favourite place." now, tell me, how not to fall in love with such a boy. he is indeed the sweetest boy ever.
i'm glad of the way he turned out to be. not demanding nor spoilt. polite and hardworking. driven just like me. but, it's still to early to say but i'm determined to give him the best so that he can succeed in life someday. despite the odds, we can do this. let's continue working hard so that we can have a better life in the future...
i might not be the richest woman on earth, but i know my heart is rich with love for this little boy.
Haris, i love you.